# "Friendly" retailers make me stabby **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 27, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489 "2011-05-27T21:42:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Sally\_Mander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@Sally\_Mander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sally_Mander)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/101 "2011-05-30T12:03:24Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I was standing in line at Macy’s and the cashier asked the woman at the head of the line if it was still raining outside. She said that it was. Then a couple of other people got rang up, and then it was my turn. The cashier asked me if it was still raining outside. I told her that according to the woman buying the orange sweater, it was, but I wasn’t in a position to corroborate it. Busted, lady. Did you want to know, or do you just ask the same questions of random customers to make you seem all chummy? She probably does ask everyone the same question. I’d bet she’s been told by management (who’ve been told by their management) that sales clerks are to engage customers in chit-chat. I’d also bet she’s doing it on auto-pilot and barely remember what each person says. I can see her walking outside at the end of her shift and thinking, “Hey, it’s still raining!” ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/102 "2011-05-30T13:43:34Z")
> [@YoSaffBridge](#): > > I’d also bet she’s doing it on auto-pilot and barely remember what each person says. Yep. “It _was_ raining, but now it’s turned into a shower of fish. I picked up a couple of nice trout for dinner.” “$38.94, please. Will this be on your Macy’s card?” ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/103 "2011-05-30T13:56:44Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > :::hijack::: just the other day I had a comical purchase combination at the checkout which fortunately went uncommented on. My two only purchases were Cheerios and windshield wiper fluid. I don’t like milk either. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/104 "2011-05-30T13:59:08Z")
> [@digs](#): > > At Trader Joe’s last week: > _Checkout kid:_ “Heyyyy, so you’ve got some bratwurst and onions here. Looks like SOMEone’s grilling tonight…” > > \*Me: \*“Uhhh, yeah. I am… _Not_ that it’s any of your business…” > Yes, I finally said it. And since I did it with a conspiratorial smile, it came off as not-too-angry. Alternate answer: “Not really. After I’m finished ramming the brats up my ass, chewing on the raw onions makes me cry, which reminds me of being an alterboy. Some memories you have to work hard to relive.” See how that goes over. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/105 "2011-05-30T14:41:00Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > This is exactly the right thing to do with your retail anger. If a store is too friendly, or not friendly enough, or aggressively upsells or doesn’t aggressively upsell – or if the melba toast is placed in a spot not to your liking, then please explain calmly and politely to the management why you will no longer be shopping at the store and then take your business elsewhere. When you find the retail store that actually does sell to you in just the way you want, be sure and visit that store often and reward them. Of course, also be aware that when you are basking in your retail Eden that the customer standing next to you is probably fuming over some malignant detail of the store that you barely noticed — and boy, is management going to hear about it! > > It is easy to forget that this world is full of people not very much like you, and some not at all like you. These people have likes and dislikes and their money is good too. From my own experience, about 1 out of every 6 customers asked if they found everything will say “no”. About half of these times we will be able to find the customer their item or a suitable substitute. Now, maybe 1 in 250 customers really really (I mean really) hates being asked that question. If I’m in management, this sounds like a question I still want my cashiers asking. > > You may find it hard to believe, but a significant number of customers will say, “Hmm, three- bean salad does sound good. Give me a pound of that too.” They really do. > > Stores are trying to make the maximum profit. They are going to behave in the way that makes the most profit. Nothing is wrong with that. So if the way you want the store to run is not the way they think will make the biggest profit, you are probably (and should be) SOL. I understand, and I agree that there is nothing unethical about offering cole slaw to a deli patron. But when the clerks have so obviously been instructed to upsell _every_ patron, and there are 10 people standing behind me in line (and this has happened many times), I believe that it’s a bad business decision. The deli clerks should have some discretion on whether to offer the customer Swiss cheese to go along with the corned beef (as **Lynn Bodoni** has done) or to get the customers served. The mandatory upselling regardless of time of day, length of line, number of patrons, is foolish. And I did go to a different store (Acme, a 110-year-old local grocery) and got some cheese at the deli, where I got exactly what I wanted from a friendly but not pushy clerk, who filled my order efficiently because there were three people behind me and she was the only person there. When I get a chance to talk to the deli manager there, I will thank him or her for not making the clerk try to sell me stuff while people waited, because next time it will be me waiting. That’s why they’re 110 years old. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/106 "2011-05-30T14:53:27Z")
> [@2gigch1](#): > > Alternate answer: “Not really. After I’m finished ramming the brats up my ass, chewing on the raw onions makes me cry, which reminds me of being an alterboy. Some memories you have to work hard to relive.” This is sooo, \*soooo \*wrong, but it cracked me up!! ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/107 "2011-05-30T15:56:27Z")
They don’t trust their employees to make decisions on their own, **Sigmagirl** , that’s why. So it’s all or nothing. Also, I wonder how many people in corporate for big stores have actually been in their own stores as actual customers, not on a pre-announced visit that sends the whole place into a frenzy trying to make it all seem perfect, while on a regular day that level of insanity is simply impossible thanks to said corporate restricting budgets for adequate hiring. Why no, I’m not bitter, why would you ask? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/108 "2011-05-30T17:58:42Z")
> [@2gigch1](#): > > Alternate answer: “Not really. After I’m finished ramming the brats up my ass, chewing on the raw onions makes me cry, which reminds me of being an alterboy. Some memories you have to work hard to relive.” > > See how that goes over. Damn, I thought MY response was creative… \*l a u g h i n g . . . \* ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/109 "2011-05-30T18:28:17Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > They don’t trust their employees to make decisions on their own, **Sigmagirl** , that’s why. So it’s all or nothing. Also, I wonder how many people in corporate for big stores have actually been in their own stores as actual customers, not on a pre-announced visit that sends the whole place into a frenzy trying to make it all seem perfect, while on a regular day that level of insanity is simply impossible thanks to said corporate restricting budgets for adequate hiring. Even less than have been there as cashiers. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/110 "2011-05-30T18:40:25Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > . > > “…I’m a pretty congenial person…” I don’t think this word means what you think it means. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Shake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f17d59/32.png) [@Master\_Shake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Shake)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/111 "2011-05-30T20:32:42Z")
The grocery store where I work (produce dept) recently started running all its employees through customer service training which includes such tips as “Be helpful” and “Give knowledgeable answers to customer inquiries.” Unfortunately, the training also outlines the company’s incentive program, which involves supervisors giving employees vouchers for $5 cash if they catch them giving exceptional customer service. This, of course, led directly to my coworker pinballing from customer to customer asking, “Can I help you find anything? Are you sure? Is that celery all right, or can I bring you a different one?” The manager had to take him aside and talk to him about the difference between service and pestering. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/112 "2011-05-30T21:23:57Z")
I’d rather have faked politeness than the treatment one sometimes gets. The clerk at the register keeps on talking over their shoulder to the next clerk over, or to a friend standing by. All I the customer gets is “The total is $22.75” I worked as a grocery clerk while in college. The hours were flexible and the work not too hard. Most customers were okay, I rarely got a rude one. The only thing that made ME stabby was when a customer would roll their cart over, when I for a moment had no one else in line, and they would say “Oh, I’ll give you something to do!” They were just joking, not being mean, but sometimes I thought “If I hear that one more time I’m going to scream!” ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/113 "2011-05-30T21:52:12Z")
> [@Master\_Shake](#): > > This, of course, led directly to my coworker pinballing from customer to customer asking, “Can I help you find anything? Are you sure? Is that celery all right, or can I bring you a different one?” The manager had to take him aside and talk to him about the difference between service and pestering. Still, I’m happy to tell 10 people I don’t need help in return for one person asking when I do - since often when you do need something, no one is around. Our Safeway has enforced friendliness for checkers - but they also let the checkers do things for you without five levels of management approval. Well worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/114 "2011-05-31T11:42:32Z")
“Now, Shecky, you’ll see that this interest rate…” “Don’t call me Shecky. I don’t know you. We’re not friends. I looked at your name plate and referred to you as Mr. Jackass. I didn’t tell you my name, you got it off the mortgage app. You’ll call me Mr. McAwesomeness, as is befitting a stranger that you’re trying to woo.” “Sorry, Mr. McAwesomeness. You and Sheckstress…” “Give me that application back, we’re done here.” And we walked out. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/115 "2011-05-31T12:03:38Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > And I did go to a different store ( **Acme** , a 110-year-old local grocery) and got some cheese at the deli, That’s one skateboard, a sail, and an electric fan. So, we’re catching roadrunners today, are we? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/116 "2011-05-31T12:15:02Z")
You forgot the anvil and the dynamite. Can’t catch any roadrunners without an anvil and some dynamite. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/117 "2011-05-31T12:53:14Z")
I know. It’s kind of fun making checks out to Acme. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/118 "2011-05-31T13:25:33Z")
A lot of this stuff irritates me - and I’ve worked retail, so I know how annoying it is from the other side - but nothing irritates me more than people trying to pronounce my first name. I don’t go by my first name. It is a beautiful name, with much meaning, and I hate seeing well-meaning non-Indian people butcher it at me. Or worse yet, stare at it blankly. It makes me feel foreign and I am American. It always brings home with a jolt that I will never be Us, that I will always be an outsider…and I hate it. So, don’t pronounce my name at me, please! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/119 "2011-05-31T14:12:30Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > I worked as a grocery clerk while in college. The hours were flexible and the work not too hard. Most customers were okay, I rarely got a rude one. The only thing that made ME stabby was when a customer would roll their cart over, when I for a moment had no one else in line, and they would say “Oh, I’ll give you something to do!” They were just joking, not being mean, but sometimes I thought “If I hear that one more time I’m going to scream!” Those people should be consigned to the same purgatory as the cheerful folk who bring you stacks of work and sing out “I’ve got a present for you-ooo!” ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/120 "2011-05-31T15:11:17Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Those people should be consigned to the same purgatory as the cheerful folk who bring you stacks of work and sing out “I’ve got a present for you-ooo!” My coworkers and I all do this to each other – but our intent is to be a bit of a pain, not to be seriously cheerful and oblivious to the annoyance. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489.md?page=7)