# Frigging Gluttons

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frigging-gluttons/77147>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [August 20, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frigging-gluttons/77147 "2001-08-20T15:07:47Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 2

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frigging-gluttons/77147/21 "2001-08-23T07:33:17Z")

</div>

I was just comparing notes with some other members of my community association. Apparently someone was spotted wandering away with our cheese.

150 SLICES OF CHEESE!

:weeps:

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frigging-gluttons/77147/22 "2001-08-23T09:57:10Z")

</div>

Oh, and there’s always the voice of dissent that will chime in under these circumstances…sorry.

However, who the fuck would eat a hamburger without the meat…I don’t even know many vegetarians that go to a fest and at least don’t pretend to want the meat in their buns. It must be cooked

What about the people you propose to basically be scavangers in the face of free food, my community does this at least 3 times every summer and never has a problem.

What I am getting at is, could you have possibly planned this wrong? No seriously. You did.

Look if a bunch of people are expecting a bunch of free food (unlike close friends and family) you cook about half - three quarters before the vultures get there. So what if the the hamburgers and hot dogs taste like they’ve been roasting on your engine block, they don’t fucking care. If you don’t know them (well most of them) then fuck em. Cook the mofos earlier than you expect them, they will flock like vultures and those that are your friends, you ensure to tell them what is the freshly cooked food.

This is the reason I don’t do much with our community food offerings. While the idea of free food entices me I am not one to put up with food that’s been sitting on warming plates for long…

So the next time you happen to throw one of those shindigs, cook a shit load before, and screw the vultures. At least you wont have to worry about them and you can tell your true friends when the freshly cooked food is coming.

Damn, now I am hungry again…grr, goes with the non-smoking routine.

I swear I am gonna gain about 20 pounds with this non-smoking thing…but shit…coook a lot of the food before hand and you will be happy.

\< sorry about the non-smoking thing, I warned many of you, I apologize and I want a smoke now thinking about the full meal thing. \>

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frigging-gluttons/77147/23 "2001-08-23T11:55:17Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Barbarian \*  
> It was madness. Families were scarfing down dry buns, and complaining that they didn’t have a burger. Families eating burgers without any buns, sending up a cry of “where’s bread? Can we have bread?”.

I read this, and the thought came unbidden to my mind:

“I wept because I had no burgers, until I met a man that had no bun.”

😃

> [@](#):
>
> I hope you all die from a gut-busting explosion induced by hemorrhagic bacteria.

Well, you could always serve chicken next year – a nice case of campylobacter would discourage people from taking undercooked food off the grill…

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frigging-gluttons/77147.md?page=1)
