# Frito-lay can't count!!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [February 7, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519 "2001-02-07T17:38:34Z")
**Posts on this page:** 19
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/1 "2001-02-07T17:38:34Z")
OK, I had the salad for lunch (being all healthy and whatnot) and decided to wash it down with some Doritos[sup]tm[/sup]. Yup, opened up the bag of “Four Cheese” Doritos[sup]tm[/sup].
Hmmmm… I wondered, just what **are** those 4 cheeses?
Check back of bag for ingredients.
Here they are:
1. Cheddar cheese
2. American cheese
3. Monterey Jack cheese
4. Parmesian cheese
5. Swiss cheese
6. Colby cheese
OK, maybe we can lump colby in with cheddar; that still leaves five. I don’t get it. Why not advertise six cheeses? Perhaps **Collounsbury** can set me straight on this, given his desire to be an enlightened cheesmaker.
---
### Author:  [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2001, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/2 "2001-02-07T17:54:33Z")
It’s not just you who’s confused, **spritle**. Here’s an item from this morning’s “Trivia Time” e-mail:
+++++
WHAT CAUSES MOST HOUSEHOLD ACCIDENTS?
The Consumer Product Safety Commission reports that the five
most dangerous sources are: stairs, glass, doors, cutlery,
glass bottles and jars, and home power tools.
+++++
Maybe it’s a baker’s dozen kind of thing.
---
### Author:  [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2001, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/3 "2001-02-07T19:16:31Z")
“Colby” and “American” don’t count. Remove those, that leaves four. Apparantly, Frit-Lay counts just fine.
---
### Author:  [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/4 "2001-02-07T19:19:59Z")
**spritle** , the answer was right in front of you all the time.
They slipped in American cheese to see if anyone was paying attention.
American cheese is not a true cheese, it’s a ‘processed cheese-like food product’.
So, in combining colby with cheddar (as per your suggestion), and allowing .01 of 1% for American “cheese”, we get a total of 4.001 cheeses, rounding down since the amount of American cheese is rather negligible, we find the total is **4** cheeses in the “Four Cheese” Doritos[sup]TM[/sub].
Not a case of false advertising at all, just some playful math. 😃
[sub]And if I screwed up on the decimals, sorry.[/sub]
---
### Author:  [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/5 "2001-02-07T19:31:57Z")
I don’t get it though. If they can claim to put 6 cheeses on their Doritos, why wouldn’t they? Are they scared someone will walk up to the bag in the grocery store and say “Six cheeses, huh? Well, three I could certainly understand. Four amalgamated lactose byproducts might even be enjoyable. Five cheeses however would be the pinnacle of artificial zestiness that I could handle from an processed flour substitute. Six? No way. Not only is that anti-climactic, but I’d seriously be concerned about my clogged arteries from the cholesterol packed chip. I think I’ll stick with the double fudge chocolate chip devil’s food cake mix thankyouverymuch.”
---
### Author:  [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2001, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/6 "2001-02-07T19:40:40Z")
nice try **screechy** ; I considered that too. However, the bag (back, not ingredients section) boasts Cheddar, Monterey Jack, American and Parmesian. They seem to lump Colby in with Cheddar (understandable) but why leave out Swiss? It can’t be for political reasons, can it? Do they consider it to be less of a cheese because of the holes? Is this a conspiricy? Should I contact Oliver Stone? Am I taking this too far? Is this the last question? Are all these questions too much? Should I stop?
---
### Author:  [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/7 "2001-02-07T20:24:21Z")
I don’t think Frito can count either. I don’t care about the cheese number, just the “betcha can’t eat just one” thing.
---
### Author:  [@WickedAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WickedAngel)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/8 "2001-02-07T23:13:31Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \*\*\*
> +++++
> WHAT CAUSES MOST HOUSEHOLD ACCIDENTS?
>
> The Consumer Product Safety Commission reports that the five
> most dangerous sources are: stairs, glass, doors, cutlery,
> glass bottles and jars, and home power tools.
> +++++ \*\*
They definately screwed it up, but here’s what I figure
1. glass
2. glass bottles & jars
Since both are glass \>and glass was not specified as mirrors/windows/home-decor-statues, it could all be lumped into one major category _glass_. This would leave only five. Of course they weren’t smart enough to figure that out…
---
### Author:  [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2001, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/9 "2001-02-07T23:19:48Z")
Luckily, they don’t list the head, dick and between the toes types.
---
### Author:  [@sorrel554](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sorrel554)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2001, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/10 "2001-02-07T23:35:02Z")
I thought maybe there was an extra comma between “glass” and “doors” and they were looking for **glass doors** , which are notorious for people walking into them.
---
### Author:  [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2001, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/11 "2001-02-08T03:31:46Z")
I owe an immeasurable debt to the Frito-Lay corporation. Because of them, I’m able to guarantee that I can be slapped on demand.
“Excuse me, do you like chips? Because I’m Frito-Lay.”
Ah, without you, I’d have to resort to more crude methods to get slapped, like gropes and leering. Those just seem too classless, though.
---
### Author:  [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2001, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/12 "2001-02-08T04:36:49Z")
FTR, Frito-Lay is located in Plano, Texas, which is where I went to high school, and I most likely know some of the people who work there.
Taking that into consideration, I don’t doubt that they can’t count 😃
Robin
---
### Author:  [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/13 "2001-02-08T05:17:41Z")
Yeah, we have a Frito-Lay factory over on John Young and Silver Star Boulevards. A few weeks ago, one of the trucks took the corner too fast and spilled a load of raw potatoes. Funny as 'ell.
Not exactuly sure what they did with the spilled potatoes, though…:eek:
---
### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2001, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/14 "2001-02-08T10:02:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by spritle \*
> Perhaps **Collounsbury** can set me straight on this, given his desire to be an enlightened cheesmaker. \*\*
Unfortunately no true cheesemaker has come to show me the way, and even so, I would never betray the secrets of the cheesemakers if they chose to reveal them to me.
---
### Author:  [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/15 "2001-02-08T15:27:57Z")
did he say “blessed are the cheesemakers”?
---
### Author:  [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/16 "2001-02-09T00:04:55Z")
Okay, here we go. We delve into the mind of Frito-Lay.
The official list:
1. Cheddar cheese
2. American cheese
3. Monterey Jack cheese
4. Parmesian cheese
5. Swiss cheese
6. Colby cheese
Parmesan and Swiss are distinctive cheeses. That’s two.
Then we have Cheddar. That makes three.
[http://www.nationaldairycouncil.org/medcent/newer\_knowledge/nkc4.html](http://www.nationaldairycouncil.org/medcent/newer_knowledge/nkc4.html)
> [@](#):
>
> NATURAL CHEESES
> Curd Particles Matted Together
>
> Cheddar Cheese
> Cheddar cheese makes up the largest share of American-type cheeses produced in the United States. The distinctive processing step is the matting or cheddaring of the curd particles into a cohesive state.
American cheese is of course just a blend of Cheddar and other kinds of cheeses.
[http://www.nationaldairycouncil.org/medcent/newer\_knowledge/nkc4.html](http://www.nationaldairycouncil.org/medcent/newer_knowledge/nkc4.html)
> [@](#):
>
> Pasteurized process cheese that is made from a single variety of cheese is identified according to the cheese type (e.g., pasteurized process Swiss cheese). A product that contains Cheddar cheese and cheeses of similar characteristics such as washed curd, Colby, or granular cheese or any mixture of these cheeses is called pasteurized process American cheese and is labeled as such.
Now then. It was my understanding that Monterey Jack was just a kind of cheddar.
[http://drinc.ucdavis.edu/html/cheese/cheese-2.shtml](http://drinc.ucdavis.edu/html/cheese/cheese-2.shtml)
> [@](#):
>
> The connection to cheddar is due to the manufacturing process that is similar, although without dye.
Then there’s Colby cheese. It was also my understanding that Colby cheese was also just a kind of cheddar.
[http://www.allrecipes.com/encyc/terms/C/5960.asp](http://www.allrecipes.com/encyc/terms/C/5960.asp)
> [@](#):
>
> A mild, whole-milk CHEDDAR CHEESE that has a softer, more open texture than regular cheddar.
However, it evidently depends on who is making the Colby cheese. You can make it another way, and then it’s NOT a kind of cheddar.
[http://www.nationaldairycouncil.org/medcent/newer\_knowledge/nkc4.html](http://www.nationaldairycouncil.org/medcent/newer_knowledge/nkc4.html)
> [@](#):
>
> Curd Particles Kept Separate
>
> Colby Cheese
> The manufacture of Colby cheese is similar to that of Cheddar up to the point of draining off the whey. The curds of Colby cheese receive no cheddaring or milling. Instead, the curds are kept separate.
“Cheddaring” refers to cutting up the curd.
[http://www.quickes.co.uk/dairy/process.htm](http://www.quickes.co.uk/dairy/process.htm)
> [@](#):
>
> The curd is cut into large strips, and then turned by hand to allow the last remnants of whey to drain away.
So, I would say that Frito-Lay’s list actually _means_ this:
1. Swiss.
2. Parmesan.
3. Cheddar (cheddar, American, Monterey Jack).
4. Colby.
Sneaky devils. They label it prominently “FOUR CHEESES!” and then you look at the ingredients and see, “Oh, wow, there’s actually six cheeses in here!” and you’re SO impressed, but actually you’re only getting three cheeses–Swiss, Parmesan, and cheddar, basically, because Colby is awfully similar to cheddar.
---
### Author:  [@tubagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tubagirl)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2001, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/17 "2001-02-09T04:04:48Z")
I love Duck Duck Goose
---
### Author:  [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2001, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/18 "2001-02-09T05:52:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by spritle \*
> **However, the bag (back, not ingredients section) boasts Cheddar, Monterey Jack, American and Parmesian. They seem to lump Colby in with Cheddar (understandable) but why leave out Swiss?**
I would guess that it’s because, of all the cheeses mentioned, Swiss is probably the least popular. They don’t want a whole bunch of picky eaters to reject the product because it has “Ewww…Swiss cheese!” I don’t know why they put it in anyway…but, my experience with picky eaters tells me that what they don’t know won’t hurt them.
---
### Author:  [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)
#### Post date: [February 9, 2001, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frito-lay-cant-count/53519/19 "2001-02-09T13:41:39Z")
This whole thing sounds cheesey.