# From Green Lantern's mouth to Kid Flash's ear: super-hero advice **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 13, 2006, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606 "2006-06-13T19:46:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/21 "2006-06-14T02:07:51Z")
**Punisher** The M-16 is a fine weapon, as long as you clean and maintain it regularly. Also…there’s a reason why I don’t have a single archnemesis, or a lot of reoccuring enemies. Think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/22 "2006-06-14T02:25:33Z")
**Batman:** Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot. **Billy Batson:** When a stranger lures you down into the subway to show you his secrets, you go. It’s awesome. **Hourman:** Winners sometimes use drugs, kids. Also, if you don’t advertise your weakness, you’re a pansy. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/23 "2006-06-14T02:40:40Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] In some pre-Crisis issues of _Action Comics_, Air Wave III (teen-aged son of the original) appears in backup stories (alternating and sometimes in combination with Atom and Aquaman). The character acted constantly on advice he’d received from Green Lantern (his cousin), Green Arrow and Black Canary about how to preserve his secret identity and whatnot. [/QUOTE] I was thinking about Air Wave III – his name, by the way, was Hal Jordan, like his more famous cousin – when I began this thread. It was more than just keeping the secret identity advice, though I remember that too (Black Canary: “Don’t go into a public bathroom to change! People will notice that Hal Jordan went IN and never came out, but Air Wave came OUT and never went in!”); there was also advice on stopping the crime FIRST, then worrying about catching the bad guy (GL) and not letting the suit do all the fighting (GA, naturally). Good stuff, and exactly what I was hoping for in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/24 "2006-06-14T02:49:47Z")
**Bucky** : Learn from my mistake. Don’t use your own name as your superhero moniker. ---
**Author:** ![ululate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/59ef9b/32.png) [@ululate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ululate)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/25 "2006-06-14T02:57:27Z")
**Adam Strange** : In my experience, you can solve any problem by constantly thinking about how you could use whatever is at hand as a weapon. Take, for example, the way I carry around a high-powered handgun. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/26 "2006-06-14T13:03:12Z")
[QUOTE=JThunder] **The Black Canary** : It’s the costume, kid. A distracted opponent is a vulnerable opponent. [/QUOTE] If Hawkgirl wore an _exact_ copy of Hawkman’s outfit, her opponents would be the _most distracted villains ever_! Think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/27 "2006-06-14T17:25:21Z")
> [@](#): > > Not a superhero, but I can’t resist this quote: What do you mean, she’s not a superhero? Her superior fashion sense has surely saved many innocents from a Bad Taste Emergency. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/28 "2006-06-14T19:15:26Z")
Captain Marvel: don’t spend a lot of money on the cape. If the suit is snazzy enough, you can use a tablecloth for a cape and no one will notice. Oh, and never let a sitcom character start using yout catchphrase. Friggin’ Gomer Pyle. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/29 "2006-06-14T19:18:46Z")
[QUOTE=pravnik] Friggin’ Gomer Pyle. [/QUOTE] Hey, watch it! Captain Marvel would never use such language. ---
**Author:** ![Aguecheek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Aguecheek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aguecheek)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/30 "2006-06-14T19:56:52Z")
**Batman** : Be prepared. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/31 "2006-06-14T20:02:50Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] If Hawkgirl wore an _exact_ copy of Hawkman’s outfit, her opponents would be the _most distracted villains ever_! Think about it. [/QUOTE] Yea, but she would attract supervillains like _flies_. In fact, a lot of otherwise nondescript and good people would become villains just so they could (ahem) go up against her. I know I would. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/32 "2006-06-14T21:01:07Z")
[QUOTE=Ponder Stibbons] Yea, but she would attract supervillains like _flies_. In fact, a lot of otherwise nondescript and good people would become villains just so they could (ahem) go up against her. I know I would. [/QUOTE] I, myself, have an Evil Aaardvark Man costume in my closet, against just such a contingency. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/33 "2006-06-14T21:22:27Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] I, myself, have an Evil Aaardvark Man costume in my closet, against just such a contingency. [/QUOTE] I believe you. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/34 "2006-06-14T21:31:21Z")
[QUOTE=Aguecheek] **Batman** : Be prepared. [/QUOTE] Future Batman: Be prepared for myself. Aquaman: Don’t wear a costume that stands out. Very little water is orange and green, for example. Dr. Octopus: If your name is, for example, Glassman, stay away from windows. Harvey Dent: Just don’t come to Gotham. Ever. **Or I’ll kill you.** Possibly. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/35 "2006-06-15T01:36:05Z")
**Dr. Strange** : Remember, it’s hoary HORDES of Hoggoth. HORDES. That “whores” thing just pisses 'em off. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/36 "2006-06-15T01:48:50Z")
Oh, and \*\*Swamp Thing \*\* wants you to be sure to wear appropriate protective coverings while working with chemicals and be sure to have plenty of fire extiguishers in your lab. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/37 "2006-06-15T04:43:31Z")
**Captain Inferno** - leave the polyester tights at home. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/38 "2006-06-15T04:50:13Z")
[QUOTE=Tenar] Oh, and \*\*Swamp Thing \*\* wants you to be sure to wear appropriate protective coverings while working with chemicals and be sure to have plenty of fire extiguishers in your lab. [/QUOTE] 😃 John Constantine recommends that you attend church regularly and memorize your prayers, and the terrorist known as V would like to remind kids that explosives are dangerous and not to be tried at home (blow them up at your nearest fascist despot’s place instead). Morpheus would probably advise you not to piss off any women with snakes for hair. I’m not entirely sure what Rorschach or Dr. Manhattan would say. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/39 "2006-06-15T08:00:05Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] I’m not entirely sure what Rorschach[…] would say. [/QUOTE] “Hrrm”? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606/40 "2006-06-15T10:48:45Z")
[QUOTE=Ranchoth] “Hrrm”? [/QUOTE] “Lying. Do it again, broken arm. Not joking.” Good advice! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-green-lanterns-mouth-to-kid-flashs-ear-super-hero-advice/360606.md?page=3)