# From Hell's heart I stab at thee, LifeSavers®!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 4, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484 "2003-10-04T02:49:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/1 "2003-10-04T02:49:41Z")
I like LifeSavers. I’ve been enjoying them since I was a wee pup–and that’s been a _long time_. In that time, there have been changes. Various flavors came and went. Lemon had its own roll for a while. So did grape, which wasn’t available in any of the assortments. Strawberry. Tangerine. Assort-O-Mint. Tropical Fruits, a great favorite of mine since the '60s, used to include coconut and pineapple, but about ten years ago they combined those into “pina colada” and added a fruit punch flavor. The less said about “Fire Fruits” the better. But for decade after decade there was always the good old Five Flavor roll. **The** basic LifeSavers experience. Cherry, orange, lemon, pineapple, and my own favorite, lime. But there was some nonsense on the Candystand website threatening to change the Five Flavor roll. And tonight, in the grocery store, I first noticed rolls with “New Flavors!” emblazoned on the wrapper. Oh dear. Well, judging by the colors on the wrapper, it looks like they’ve at least brought back grape, evidently at the expense of pineapple. Grape is good, but dammit, they shouldn’t tamper with a classic. So I brought a pack home. Opened it up. Ahh…first on the roll is the comforting **green** color of lime. I pop it in my mouth. What the fuck??? This isn’t lime. It’s fucking WATERMELON. They DITCHED LIME AND REPLACED IT WITH FUCKING WATERMELON. YES, I KNOW…er, I mean, I know I’m shouting! But this is outrageous! They can’t just ditch _lime_, for God’s sake!!! These are _LifeSavers_. There’s a tradition involved here. Okay, next up is cherry. Good old wild cherry. As good as lime, really. But then the next piece is red, too. Two cherries in a row? Erk–no–it’s _raspberry_. OK, now they’re really screwing with my head. Raspberry belongs in the Wild Berries assortment. Or Fancy Fruits, if they’re still making that. What the hell’s it doing in Five Flavors? Five Flavors is yer basic working man’s candy: cherry, lemon, lime, orange, pineapple! Next…dammit, it’s another watermelon! They’re rubbing it in, those bastards! The final damage: lime is out. Bye-bye **orange**. Sayonara, **lemon**. Yes, all the citrus flavors are gone. Hello, watermelon, raspberry, and–no, the purple stripe on the wrapper didn’t signify grape, it’s **blackberry**. Only pineapple and cherry remain from the real Five Flavors. Sigh. Is _nothing_ sacred anymore? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/2 "2003-10-04T02:57:28Z")
Nope. And have you seen any rolls of all-chocolate Necco Wafers recently? ---
**Author:** ![Extraneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/0ea827/32.png) [@Extraneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Extraneous)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/3 "2003-10-04T02:58:53Z")
Surrender gracefully the things of youth… [sub]clean air, tuna, Taiwan, Lifesavers[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/4 "2003-10-04T03:03:10Z")
NOOO!!! ---
**Author:** ![DJScherr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@DJScherr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DJScherr)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/5 "2003-10-04T03:32:34Z")
Shit you mean there is more than three flavors? I bought a bag at a gas station so I had something to suck on at work if I needed it. Only ended up with three damn flavors… Watermelon, Raspberry, and Cherry. I wasn’t even lucky enough to get blackberry or Watermelon. Why’d they have to screw with a classic? ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/6 "2003-10-04T03:33:36Z")
They still sell ButterRum, don’t they? DON’T THEY??? Now I have to run to the store to see… ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/7 "2003-10-04T04:00:47Z")
Lime candy is horrible and awful. Long live watermelon!! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/8 "2003-10-04T04:03:03Z")
My wife choked on a CreamSaver. ---
**Author:** ![Dizzy\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dizzy\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dizzy_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/9 "2003-10-04T04:22:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biffy the Elephant Shrew \* > \*\*Is _nothing_ sacred anymore? \*\* No. I mean, yes. I mean. . . ah, screw it. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/10 "2003-10-04T04:24:49Z")
Lime was disgusting. Watermelon rocks. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/11 "2003-10-04T04:26:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. B \* > \*\*My wife choked on a CreamSaver. \*\* Never heard it called _that_ before. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/12 "2003-10-04T04:58:57Z")
Can one still buy those bizarre pink **musk** flavored LifeSavers® anywhere? Many years ago, I brought back a bunch from Australia, just to freak out my friends. My god, were they awful… ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/13 "2003-10-04T05:02:32Z")
Now _that’s_ a little insulting. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/14 "2003-10-04T05:23:24Z")
**EddyTeddyFreddy** , I saw a roll of all-chocolate Neccos at a gas station not too long ago, and my SO has a whole case of them at his house (only maybe five rolls are left). A roll of them was the first thing he gave me, though, so I tend to notice them whenever I see them. And I miss Buttercream Life Savers. I haven’t seen any since I was six, though, so I’ve pretty much given up on ever finding them again. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/15 "2003-10-04T10:06:11Z")
Well I can’t partake of the Savers of Life since my body decided not to process insulin any more. But I used to buy a pack of wild cherry every day after school in Jr. High. Never needed no assortment, give me the cherry. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/16 "2003-10-04T11:14:33Z")
Sucks. Bites even. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/17 "2003-10-04T13:03:27Z")
Did, perchance, they screw up the Gummi Savers? ---
**Author:** ![Winterwren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Winterwren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winterwren)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/18 "2003-10-04T13:36:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Darth Nader \* > \*\*Can one still buy those bizarre pink **musk** flavored LifeSavers® anywhere? Many years ago, I brought back a bunch from Australia, just to freak out my friends. My god, were they awful… \*\* You can probably get them imported from someplace or other. About eight years ago, an Australian friend sent me a box of 24 rolls. I still have three. (Aside: I also gave some to kinky friends-- they are a great punishment in a mild s&m scene. “Take this, and you’re not allowed to spit it out.”) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/19 "2003-10-04T14:58:53Z")
I like to freeze the Gummi Savers. Hmm. Maybe I should just buy regular ones… ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484/20 "2003-10-04T15:27:07Z")
It sucks rocks that they fucked with the Five Flavors. But blackberry is my favorite kind from my favorite roll that isn’t around any more: Fancy Fruits. Still and all, is nothing sacred? Don’t fuck with the Five Flavors, people! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/from-hells-heart-i-stab-at-thee-lifesavers/205484.md?page=2)