# Fuck all NBC 'Revelations' pimps **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2005, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877 "2005-04-12T00:19:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/1 "2005-04-12T00:19:50Z")
Attention NBC motherfuckers! I will NOT be watching ‘Revelations’. You have annoyed me with your endless goddamn commercials at every single available commercial break for weeks on end and I’M FUCKING SICK OF IT. I may have been mildly interested the first time I saw your ad, but now I hope you all contract sucking chest wounds, your network goes broke, and all your babies are born naked! AAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH! FUCK YOU!!! AUUUUGGGGHHH!! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/2 "2005-04-12T01:04:59Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > You have annoyed me with your endless goddamn commercials at every single available commercial break for weeks on end and I’M FUCKING SICK OF IT. Minor point: NBC is not running commercials for Revelations. They’re running promos. Commercials are time that’s sold to advertisers. Networks reserve a set amount of time to promote upcoming shows. Those spots are called promos. That said, I will probably watch it out of morbid curiousity. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/3 "2005-04-12T01:06:59Z")
If it makes you feel any better, the constant barrage of commercials might very well be an act of desperation-- that the producers think the show will be a flop. Have you ever noticed how the worst movies often get the most ad air time? This kind of stuff might make for a good movie now and again, but a weekly TV series? I can’t see it… ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/4 "2005-04-12T01:13:44Z")
I’m not going to watch it either, despite my admiration for the beauty of whats-her-name (the irish actress from _Ronin_). ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/5 "2005-04-12T01:40:06Z")
The commercials – ok, the _promos_ - piss me off in themselves. They keep showing a character who some sort of cliched, generic “scientist” who is a “skeptic” and a “man of science” who seems to be the strawman scientist of Chick tracts and glurge stories who is a dismissive atheist (and, of course, an unhappy one) who is really a fool who can’t see the light and he’s going to learn how wrong he is to dismiss the Bible. It also seems to have some kind of smug, santimonious “woman of God” who will team up with the scientist for some reason. The show looks like garbage squared. It clearly will have nothing to do with the Book of Revelation but is intended to be some sort of Left Behind ripoff which they hope will appeal to what the networks see as a huge Christian demographic just waiting to get plucked. I have no desire at all to see this thing. The stupid pandering fantasy about the “scientist” learning that he doesn’t know everything after all, smart guy is enough to turn me off. The fact that it’s really going to boil down to a mediocre supernatural thriller (but sanitized for television) with what will probably include some tepid and scripturally inaccurate Bible thumping just all adds up to a recipe for unwatchable bilge. I’d rather stare at a test pattern. ---
**Author:** ![BabaBooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@BabaBooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BabaBooey)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/6 "2005-04-12T01:47:43Z")
Why were you watching NBC in the first place? And although the show probably WILL suck (haven’t seen the promos, just 95% of the things on TV do), ABC plugged the ever living shit out of “Lost” and it turned out alright. ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/7 "2005-04-12T02:05:40Z")
The problem with all End Times movies is – there’s no suspense. I mean, it’s not as if God is going to **lose** , no matter **what** the good or evil mortals do. The promos for _Revelations_ suggest that the nun is searching for the Baby Jesus – but **why?** If the Antichrist gets hold of Him – well, the Antichrist will be melted into glop _Raiders_-style and Jesus will still win. Besides, Jesus is supposed to return as a full-grown man, not a baby. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/8 "2005-04-12T02:28:33Z")
I hate the **S** they put on the end. Is it that fucking hard to get the God damned spelling right for a prime time show on a major network!? Fucking puking Peking Christ on an X Box joystick already, mother fuckers. One little fucking small fact check is all it would’ve took. Hobbits. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/9 "2005-04-12T03:18:41Z")
> [@](#): > > I hate the **S** they put on the end. > [@](#): > > intended to be some sort of Left Behind ripoff Actually, while I have successfully avoided the incessant promos for the show, I did happen to catch a print promo that included a brief interview with the producer (writer?). In that interview he explicitly said that the revelation **s** that were going to catch the interest of the scientist and nun were going to be taken from throughout scripture, not just the Apocalypse, and that he had no desire to borrow anything from _Left Behind_ twaddle and had not (he claimed) ever seen or watched any of the _Left Behind_ works. This, of course, does not mean that the series will be even as good as any of the “survival” or “find a mate” “reality” shows or that the person in question is even capable of telling the truth, but it does indicate some remote chance that the show will simply be one more mediocre offering that can be viewed without worrying that one will not lose one’s last meal. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/10 "2005-04-12T04:08:24Z")
This is some sort of broadcast TV thing, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/11 "2005-04-12T05:10:51Z")
> [@BabaBooey](#): > > Why were you watching NBC in the first place? And although the show probably WILL suck (haven’t seen the promos, just 95% of the things on TV do), ABC plugged the ever living shit out of “Lost” and it turned out alright. I don’t care if the actors give the best performances ever given, the scripts are written by fucking Shakespeare, and Jesus F. Christ himself appears in a cameo. They’ve pissed me off so much with the _promos_ (and excuse the fuck outa _me_, fer cripes sake), that I won’t watch it on principle. And now they’re pimping the Da Vinci Crap as a lead-in. Don’t tell _me_ this guy knows nothing about all that novel nonsense. “Left Behind”, my right testicle. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/12 "2005-04-12T06:04:49Z")
It’d be kind of funny if it turned out that the _scientist_ was, unbeknownst to even himself, the new Messiah; and that all along the meaning of life was just achieving a complete understanding of the laws of physics and mathematics. Which of course means it’s going to be a crass “Touched by an Angel” ripoff that’s going to run eight seasons. :smack: ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/13 "2005-04-12T12:04:54Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > The commercials – ok, the _promos_ - piss me off in themselves. They keep showing a character who some sort of cliched, generic “scientist” who is a “skeptic” and a “man of science” who seems to be the strawman scientist of Chick tracts and glurge stories who is a dismissive atheist (and, of course, an unhappy one) who is really a fool who can’t see the light and he’s going to learn how wrong he is to dismiss the Bible. > > It also seems to have some kind of smug, santimonious “woman of God” who will team up with the scientist for some reason. I dunno. That was the premise of The X-Files, and it worked well enough. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/14 "2005-04-12T12:31:40Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > I’m not going to watch it either, despite my admiration for the beauty of whats-her-name (the irish actress from _Ronin_). Natascha McElhone, I’m guessing (I’ve not seen the promos). She’s English, not Irish, by the way, and while not exactly a contender for the Dick van Dyke Award, her oirish accent could certainly use some work… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/15 "2005-04-12T13:34:14Z")
Wait, this is gonna be a whole _series_? How the hell are they gonna pull that off? I thought it was a tv movie, or at most a miniseries. How long can you draw out the end of the world? Scientist: “Hey nun, is the world still ending?” Nun: “Yep” Scientist: “Can we stop it yet?” Nun: “Nope” Scientist: “K, see you next week.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/16 "2005-04-12T13:36:27Z")
Her accent was a reasonable rendition of a Belfast accent, although I don’t know if that is what she was going for. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/17 "2005-04-12T14:36:42Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > I hate the **S** they put on the end. Maybe because the Book of Revelation is still under copyright? 🙂 That drives me crazy, too, especially from fundamentalists. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-all-nbc-revelations-pimps/298877/18 "2005-04-12T14:38:11Z")
I’m a bit confused by their scheduling. Some of the promos indicate that “Revelations” will air right after some show about “the secrets of The Da Vinci Code”. So, right before their movie/miniseries/whatever it is about end-times prophecy and Biblical hoo-rah coming to pass, which one would think is targeted to a religious crowd…RIGHT before that, they’re going to show a special about whether Jesus screwed Mary Magdalene? Which, one would presume, would piss off that very same religious crowd? I’m not the only one who thinks the scheduling is a bit off, am I?