# Fuck Barnes and Noble with a bicg rubber dick! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877 "2003-04-02T03:43:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/21 "2003-04-02T19:11:43Z")
**MeanJoe** striking a blow against wilfully ignorant retail customers worldwide. Preach it. Funny rant though, **Rooves**. ---
**Author:** ![MeanJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanjoe/32/5693_2.png) [@MeanJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanJoe)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/22 "2003-04-02T19:40:15Z")
šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/23 "2003-04-02T19:59:03Z")
Former Borders employee here. In the Borders computer system, as with most storesā€™ inventory tracking software, if the computer says thereā€™s one copy, that really means ā€œThere may or may not be a copy in the store and you may or may not find it.ā€ I always made sure to warn customers of this if they came looking for a book and the computer said one copy. That copy could have just been bought, or be waiting to be shelved, or have been mis-shelved, or picked up by another customer and left somewhere else, or picked up by a customer and still in his hands. In certain sections (like the Kidā€™s section I worked in), the computer was pretty much hopeless due to the mess customers made of the section and the huge amounts of unshelved books, so unless Iā€™d seen that book on the shelf myself, Gods only know if it was there. Like **Lissa** , I was the chick who actually _knew_ about many of the books we sold. Even the ones I hadnā€™t read. So when someone came in and said ā€œIā€™m looking for that kidā€™s book, you know, where the momā€™s saying she loves the kid and then at the end he says it?ā€ and I said ā€œOh yeah, _I Love You Forever_ by Robert Munsch, thatā€™s over there in Picture Books, on the end, blue cover, weā€™ve got hardback and paperback,ā€ my coworkers started looking at me like I was freakinā€™ psychic. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/24 "2003-04-02T20:00:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sivalensis \* > \*\*Well, I wholeheartedly agree with youā€¦B&N and Borders are the Walmarts of the book world. I work in a small independent bookstore and we have people coming in all the time who are amazed that we actually, well, know the books weā€™re selling. Thatā€™s weā€™ve read them, or that if they come in and say ā€œthereā€™s this book I heard about today on NPR but I donā€™t remember what it was,ā€ chances are we (or someone else working in the store) will know which one it is. Plus, as a bonus, our sections are large enough that youā€™re likely to find what youā€™re looking for (i.e. there arenā€™t five different kinds of history sections or whatever). > Iā€™d suggest finding an independentā€¦theyā€™re awesome! \*\* Ho ho hoā€¦ it is to laugh. Better selection and service at an independent seller? I think not. I know, I know, Iā€™m SUPPOSED to disdain big, mass retailers, and champion the plucky mom and pop stores, but when it comes to books, Iā€™m sorry- I like the big chains a LOT better. Iā€™m sorry the OP had a hard time and Barnes and Noble, but in my experience, even when I want something relatively obscure, Iā€™m FAR more likely to get it at a B & N or Borderā€™s than at the homey little corner bookstore Iā€™m supposed to get misty-eyed and nostalgic for. And while the clerks at B & N may not be as knowledgeable as some at independent shops, theyā€™re usually a lot nicer. Theyā€™ll help you find what you want and sell it to you without any smirks or raised eyebrows. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/25 "2003-04-02T20:12:33Z")
You say that like a big rubber dick is a _bad_ thing. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![DadWagonDriver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@DadWagonDriver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DadWagonDriver)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/26 "2003-04-02T20:30:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > \*\*Wow, that was an impressive bit of mathā€¦ughā€¦make that ā€œtwo rowsā€¦3/4 of which areā€ā€¦doh. \*\* Donā€™t worry, **slortar** , I think something this city puts in the ā€œwaterā€ causes that. At least it happens to me more here than on the east side of MI. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/27 "2003-04-03T00:04:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joe K \* > \*\*The Dollhouse Murders? Read that in 4th grade. šŸ™‚ \*\* No. \* Behind the Attic Wall. \* It is a kidā€™s book, but itā€™s rather haunting. Itā€™s a story about an anti-social un-loved oprhan who learns to love again after she finds a secret room in her auntsā€™ home that has two ā€œlivingā€ dolls. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/28 "2003-04-03T00:20:48Z")
**Homebrew** , you took the words right out of my mouth. There are no independent bookstores in Thousand Oaks\*, so I _have_ to go to either Barnes & Noble or Borders if I want to buy a book (thereā€™s a Waldenbooks in the mall, but it carries exactly squat as far as I can tell). I prefer to shop at Borders 95% of the time, because they have a better selection and a more competent staff (and less staff turnover, Iā€™ve noticed) than the Barnes & Noble does. That, and they keep their shelves in order, which the Barnes and Noble NEVER does. That fifth percentile of the time, however, Iā€™m looking for a particular knitting book. B&N has a better selection of those, even if it is a pain to find anything in the crafts section. \*Okay. There is a Used Bookstore (the ā€œBookaneerā€) and ā€œMysteries to Die Forā€ but the latter only sells - gasp! - mysteries (and thatā€™s what I patronize them for) and the former has hours that really are not convenient for the professional person. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/29 "2003-04-03T00:34:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wmulax93 \* > \*\*Donā€™t worry, **slortar** , I think something this city puts in the ā€œwaterā€ causes that. At least it happens to me more here than on the east side of MI. \*\* Ah, thatā€™s good. I thought the fact that I seem to be getting a lotā€¦stupiderā€¦over the 10 years Iā€™ve spent here was due to genetics or something. Good to have others in the same boatā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/30 "2003-04-03T01:10:25Z")
Thank you so much, **Lissa**. Iā€™ve been trying to remember the name of that book forever (and I knew it wasnā€™t Dollhouse Murders). Itā€™s the one where the woman always says ā€œDamnation!ā€ right? ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/31 "2003-04-03T01:16:02Z")
Upon reading the Amazon review, I donā€™t think thatā€™s it. The one Iā€™m thinking of, a family moves into a house. In the attic thereā€™s a doll house thatā€™s an exact replica of the real house. The daughter in the family discovers that when she looks through the windows of the doll house she can see scenes from the past of the real house (like thereā€™s a family around the turn of the century, I think, and another family in the 1940s who had up blackout windows). Basically she ends up learning about a mystery that happened during the turn-of-the century family which involves something being hidden behind an attic wall (which is why I mentioned it). One of the past women said ā€œDamnationā€ whenever something bad happened to her. Also, at the end of the book the present-day girl who solves the mystery ends up forgetting all about it. Any ideas? ---
**Author:** ![King\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7bcc69/32.png) [@King\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877/32 "2003-04-03T03:48:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by singular1 \* > **Barnes and Nobles** > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by slortar_ > **Barnes & Nobles** For fuckā€™s sake itā€™s Barnes & Noble not Barnes & Nobles. This never ceases to annoy me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-barnes-and-noble-with-a-bicg-rubber-dick/165877.md?page=1)