# Fuck cacti! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 23, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107 "2012-07-23T03:30:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/21 "2012-07-24T03:04:13Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > I’d never heard 'em called “Tuna” before! Well, it’s not exactly a badge of honor. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/22 "2012-07-24T03:51:52Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > I used to work in a cactus nursery. Had to be the worst job I ever had. Did you have to suckle them? ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/23 "2012-07-24T10:19:44Z")
Hey baby, do you want a cactus job? ---
**Author:** ![Enkel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@Enkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enkel)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/24 "2012-07-24T12:09:48Z")
I’m sure the cactus actually stepped into your way on purpose. Just the latest in the “Cacti Strike Back, Summer 2012” Here another one of them has gone on the attack: [http://www.wotshappening.com/man-in-intensive-care-after-16-foot-cactus-falls-pinning-him-to-the-ground/](http://www.wotshappening.com/man-in-intensive-care-after-16-foot-cactus-falls-pinning-him-to-the-ground/) “Man in intensive care after 16-foot-cactus falls pinning him to the ground” ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/25 "2012-07-24T13:08:29Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > Was it a [prickly pear](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opuntia_ficus-indica) aka tuna? I have a bunch of those in my yard, and while the main plant has proper cactus-spines that you don’t want to fall into, but can easily avoid, the fruit has those insidious, invisible, hair-like spines that got you. My wife brought some of the fruit inside last year, and even though I never directly handled it, I was getting those spines in my skin days later. > > Generally, I like cactuses though. They’re easy to grow and look nice year-round. It’s a shame about the that fruit. This year’s crop is just starting to ripen, and there are hundreds of the damned things … if only we could avoid the acupuncture. Pretty sure it is a prickly pear- looks extremely similar. It doesnt have fruit, but tumor-like growths where the flowers sprout. And where the damned tiny spines come from. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/26 "2012-07-24T13:39:25Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > I Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there’ed. 😛 I don’t understand what your far-Right, quasi-Fascist, political leanings have to do with cacti. [Cite](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14829161&postcount=48) To clarify: when **Snowboarder Bo** says “Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there” he is using Freeper secret code to proclaim his everlasting love for Michele Bachmann. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/27 "2012-07-24T14:36:24Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Today when I was doing yardwork I bumped my head on a cactus. This particular cactus is studded with tiny, hair thin spines which promptly lodged themselves into the back of my head. So instead of having a nice relaxing sunday drinking beer and watching tv, I was sitting in a chair while my wife was fishing out the spines with a pair of tweezers :mad: Well, to put this in perspective, at least you have a loved one that can do this for you. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/28 "2012-07-24T14:47:42Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Pretty sure it is a prickly pear- looks extremely similar. It doesnt have fruit, but tumor-like growths where the flowers sprout. And where the damned tiny spines come from. That sounds right. Those tumors should round out and turn red, and then you can eat them. They’re not bad if you know how to avoid the spines, which I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/29 "2012-07-24T16:17:03Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > That sounds right. Those tumors should round out and turn red, and then you can eat them. They’re not bad if you know how to avoid the spines, which I don’t. Frankly I find the thought of putting something like that in my mouth…horrifying :eek: ---
**Author:** ![candide](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/46a35a/32.png) [@candide](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/candide)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/30 "2012-07-24T19:19:19Z")
Fuck the Cacti, just don’t [jump the Cholla](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jumping_Cholla), then you’ll understand real pain. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/31 "2012-07-24T19:44:43Z")
> [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](#): > > when **Snowboarder Bo** says “Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there” he is using Freeper secret code to proclaim his everlasting love for Michele Bachmann. I thought it was Huey Lewis… ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/32 "2012-07-24T21:26:44Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Frankly I find the thought of putting something like that in my mouth…horrifying :eek: True, don’t eat it whole. You cut one in half and scoop out the insides, like a kiwi. I didn’t get any spines in my mouth (thank og). ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/33 "2012-07-25T02:23:22Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Today when I was doing yardwork I bumped my head on a cactus. This particular cactus is studded with tiny, hair thin spines which promptly lodged themselves into the back of my head. So instead of having a nice relaxing sunday drinking beer and watching tv, I was sitting in a chair while my wife was fishing out the spines with a pair of tweezers :mad: > [@Incubus](#): > > Pretty sure it is a prickly pear- looks extremely similar. It doesnt have fruit, but tumor-like growths where the flowers sprout. And where the damned tiny spines come from. Now when you pick a pawpaw or a prickly pear, and you prick a raw paw, next time beware. Don’t pick the prickly pear by the paw. When you pick a pear try to use the claw. But you don’t need to use the claw when you pick a pear of the big pawpaw. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/34 "2012-07-25T03:01:41Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > I Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there’ed. 😛 Kindly fornicate yourself with a cactus. I see I was beaten to the punch. Well, I stand by what I said. ---
**Author:** ![SticksAndString](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SticksAndString](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SticksAndString)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/35 "2012-07-25T04:56:46Z")
Cacti are Eeeeevil! Once, years ago, I was forced to go on a class fossil hunt for a geology class I was taking. The prof warned us there would be cacti. What he didn’t say was that the cacti would throw their needles at you on purpose and these weren’t TINY needles. Oh no…those fuckers were at least an inch or two long and about as big around as a chopstick. Those fuckers HURT. And who do you think spent most of the day whimpering and yanking cactus spines out of her legs instead of digging in the dirt for funny rocks? Yup…that would be me. ---
**Author:** ![SticksAndString](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SticksAndString](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SticksAndString)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/36 "2012-07-25T05:01:50Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Now when you pick a pawpaw or a prickly pear, and you prick a raw paw, next time beware. Don’t pick the prickly pear by the paw. When you pick a pear try to use the claw. But you don’t need to use the claw when you pick a pear of the big pawpaw. OMG I \<3 you so hard right now.😃 And now that damn song is stuck in my head. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2012, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/37 "2012-07-25T22:01:37Z")
> [@SticksAndString](#): > > Cacti are Eeeeevil! > > Once, years ago, I was forced to go on a class fossil hunt for a geology class I was taking. The prof warned us there would be cacti. What he didn’t say was that the cacti would throw their needles at you on purpose and these weren’t TINY needles. Oh no..those fuckers were at least an inch or two long and about as big around as a chopstick. Those fuckers HURT. > . Oh, yes, the dreaded blow gun cactus, very common in Indiana Jones movies, nightmares, and bad acid trips. Stay away from them for sure! (And shun the frumious bandersnatch.) ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107/38 "2012-07-26T01:27:06Z")
Top tip for removing cactus spines – especially those pesky Opuntias\* or any other fine spined varieties: spread a layer of glue over the affected skin and when it dries scrape it off and the spines come out with it. _Edited to add this is no good for cacti in the hair, poor OP_. - I used to grow cacti but I wouldn’t grow those. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-cacti/629107.md?page=1)