# Fuck it, I'm choking my chicken **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151 "2008-10-29T22:03:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/41 "2008-10-30T12:02:45Z")
We have a coworker from Munich that chokes his chicken all the time. So often in fact that it’s made the German, Helmut, buff. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/42 "2008-10-30T12:25:16Z")
> [@AllWalker](#): > > Wait, what’s this a euphemism for? You’re going to… what, bake a cake or something? I seem to recall that…oh NO! He’s going to kill a kitten! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/43 "2008-10-30T12:38:35Z")
I absolutely HATE sexism in language. I run my own house and life, but since I’m female I can never be master of my own domain. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/44 "2008-10-30T12:48:36Z")
> [@nd\_n8](#): > > Here I am at home, relaxing in front of the computer, and I’m fucking starving. I think I’ll go into the kitchen, cut the cheese, slap the salami on a piece of white bread, relax and take a load off. That may prove difficult since I played hide the salami earlier. [QUOTE=Gatopescado] But, a bird came round and snatched that cock and I haven’t laid a hand on it since! [/QUOTE] Must have been cock-robbin’ then. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/45 "2008-10-30T13:20:30Z")
I’ve heard that rubbing limas makes their skins softer. So I’m going to tickle the tender bean. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/46 "2008-10-30T13:27:14Z")
Shit, I thought he said he was going to [choke his children.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_Simpson) ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/47 "2008-10-30T14:37:05Z")
Well, I managed to squeeze the weasel into submission last night, but this morning I noticed that my pet python was a little stiff (he gets that way when he doesn’t sleep right). In order to loosen him up a bit, I think I’m going to have to shake the snake. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/48 "2008-10-30T14:41:56Z")
I’ve been following my gf around the house all morning, repeatedly getting in her way. She asked me to keep away, but words alone won’t do it. Nope, she’s gonna have to beat me off. ---
**Author:** ![Yossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/9de0a6/32.png) [@Yossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yossarian)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/49 "2008-10-30T14:43:29Z")
I’d like to join in, but I’m afraid that I wouldn’t be able to hold my own. Or would I? ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/50 "2008-10-30T14:51:47Z")
Sequential action… the thread above this one was **Chelsea Clinton is helping me shine door knocks** :o ---
**Author:** ![ShotgunZen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@ShotgunZen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShotgunZen)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/51 "2008-10-30T15:06:48Z")
> [@Mbossa](#): > > I’ve recently been inspired by the way that ducks, especially those with ducklings, hold themselves in arguments during Catholic religious services. I’ve decided to emulate their behaviour and start Mass debating like a mother duck. LOL. Yes literally at my desk. I myself am pretty tired still today. Over the weekend I worked at the fishing tournament. It was a tightly regulated affair and everyone had to not only use the same bait, but have it put on their hook the same. I was put in change all the people that hooked bait. Yes all weekend I was master baiter. Really it was a shame since some of the hookers that were working for me were much more qualified to handle the worm. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/52 "2008-10-30T15:19:35Z")
Hijack: One episode of “Dharma & Greg” revolved around the duck statue, which was given to the couple who had sex in the most unusual public place. Greg’s stuffy parents won the award, and when Dharma gave them the statue, her mother-in-law stated “This isn’t even a duck. It’s a goose. Why do you call it a duck.” Dharma replies “Because goose doesn’t rhyme.” ---
**Author:** ![EpicNonsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@EpicNonsense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EpicNonsense)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/53 "2008-10-30T16:04:40Z")
I really need to rest. I have been stationary and holding my mouse all day. So until tomorrow, this will be the last time I come to this thread. Hopefully by then there will be plenty of new viewing material. If not, I can always extract some fresh ideas. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/54 "2008-10-30T16:14:00Z")
My cat is feeling lonesome today, and keeps rubbing up against my leg. So I’m going to stop typing for awhile and go pet the kitty. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/55 "2008-10-30T18:38:06Z")
Boy, my right arm is sore! It feels like I pulled a muscle. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/56 "2008-10-30T18:57:02Z")
I know, I’m doing it wrong but… Ironing the microphone. Worshipping the chimp. Punishing the creek. [And many, many more from here.](http://www.walkingdead.net/perl/euphemism) ---
**Author:** ![Stealth\_Potato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Stealth\_Potato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stealth_Potato)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/57 "2008-10-30T20:01:44Z")
I’d love to participate in your thread about vaguely inappropriate euphemisms, but if you’ll excuse me gentlemen, I have to go see a man about a horse. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/58 "2008-10-30T20:26:16Z")
OK, so today I’m sitting in Michener Library at the University of Northern Colorado (the other UNC) researching Aristotlean influence on modern journalistic rhetoric. I’ve decided to wander over into the classic stacks and critique my Plato for awhile. Maybe I’ll bring my syllogism to an invalid conclusion. Yes! I got it! I got it! IgotitIgotitIgotitIgotitIgotitIgotitIgotitIgotit! I … got … it! Ahhhhhhh! Now I don’t want it anymore. Whew! ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/59 "2008-10-30T20:28:01Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > I’ve heard that rubbing limas makes their skins softer. So I’m going to tickle the tender bean. Ah, you’re just paying lip service to the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/60 "2008-10-30T20:40:10Z")
This thread reminds me of the time announcer Jim Ross accidently said something like this while commentating a wrestling match. Here is the clip: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddfx\_U4-jwA](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddfx_U4-jwA) You can see he quickly tries to cover it up after he realizes what he said and how it sounds. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151.md?page=4)