# Fuck it, I'm choking my chicken **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151 "2008-10-29T22:03:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![shelbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@shelbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shelbo)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/101 "2008-11-04T19:47:39Z")
> [@Sunrazor](#): > > Hey, a euphemism thread about masturbation! What in the world are you talking about? Anyway, I’m pretty excited about this girl I met - Rosalin Palmer (quite a mouthful, no?). Yep, no more dancing with myself - tonight I’ve got a date with Rosie Palm! ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/102 "2008-11-04T19:57:20Z")
> [@shelbo](#): > > .. tonight I’ve got a date with Rosie Palm! Big deal! Last time I went out with her she brought a long her five sisters. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/103 "2008-11-04T23:10:27Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > So… Who’s going to be the first brave soul to post and say… > > I’m having a wank. > > Or to de-britishialaterize it - I am masturbating. (though that is not as amusing a phrase as “I’m having a wank.” Oh, gross! TM-fucking-I, man! Have you no sense of shame? God-dayum, posting filth like that on the internet. You know kids can see this, right? Pervert. That said, my cat’s trying to walk all over the keyboard and being annoying. I don’t think she’s going to leave me alone until I give her some attention. Please excuse me while I go play with my pussy. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/104 "2008-11-04T23:34:02Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > So… Who’s going to be the first brave soul to post and say… > > I’m having a wank. > > Or to de-britishialaterize it - I am masturbating. (though that is not as amusing a phrase as “I’m having a wank.” > > [sub]I’m not, by the way. I’m at work.[/sub] I suspect you’ll be getting off soon. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/105 "2008-11-05T01:19:47Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Oh, gross! (snip) That said, my cat’s trying to walk all over the keyboard and being annoying. I don’t think she’s going to leave me alone until I give her some attention. Please excuse me while I go play with my pussy. The intellectual side of my brain asks, “Why does this simple post by an adult female, in the spirit of the jocularity of the thread, cause in me the almost irresistible urge to respond with offensive references to base desires with said poster as the subject?” Other parts of my body now drag me into a private place with my private thoughts about WhyNot’s private parts. Damn me and these evil urges that dominate my tormented mind! ---
**Author:** ![danielmybrother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@danielmybrother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danielmybrother)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/106 "2008-11-05T06:25:14Z")
Anyone else here in the farming or ranching biz? I’ve been curing sides of pork all day long, except I put way too much salt on the last few, so I spent the largest part of the day banging on the bacon, trying to get it off. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/107 "2008-11-06T05:20:18Z")
My friends love to take me fishing- no one can get the worm on the hook faster or better than I can- I’m a real master baiter. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/108 "2008-11-06T06:46:40Z")
Walking through the living room earlier today I noticed a few pieces in the back row of my hand-carved maple and walnut chess set were looking awfully dull and dusty. I decided to tackle the job one side at a time. So tonight I shined up the king, dusted off the knight, waxed the rook, and now I’m getting ready to polish the bishop. Hmmm, three more to go. This could take all night. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/109 "2008-11-06T07:20:50Z")
Goddamn, you wouldn’t believe it but a friend of mine had a pet beaver - I swear to god, in this big old cage with a log to chew on and everything. Then she dropped out earlier this semester, and being spineless, I adopted the damn rodent. I’ve been busy all day and now I’ve got to feed my beaver twice a day. ---
**Author:** ![Connecting\_Rod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Connecting\_Rod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Connecting_Rod)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/110 "2008-11-07T03:19:00Z")
The OP was an innocent complaint about a rooster disturbing the piece, and now you’re all high-jacking the post. You should all just get off! ---
**Author:** ![HawksPath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f07891/32.png) [@HawksPath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HawksPath)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/111 "2008-11-07T23:52:28Z")
I lead hikes and usually have several companions. Saturday, we were going to hike up a big mountain. When the actual day arrived, no one else showed up. I had to reach the peak solo. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151/112 "2008-11-08T04:34:13Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > I hate to bring it up, since this is just about the only thread that isn’t about the economy or politics, but I think I’m going to go shake hands with the unemployed. Well, now that the election is over it’s time to concentrate on the economy. I think I’ll get down to some serious bean counting. 1, 1, 1, . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-it-im-choking-my-chicken/470151.md?page=5)