# Fuck lawyers if they can't take a joke. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 5, 2000, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-lawyers-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/35781 "2000-10-05T15:39:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-lawyers-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/35781/61 "2000-10-12T15:58:27Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Wildest Bill** _ > > Now if you want make a big deal out of this, please show me a law where you can not discriminate because of profession? I have never heard of such a law? So did he break a law? First of all, let’s define “discriminate,” from Merriam-Webster: > [@](#): > > Main Entry: **dis·crim·i·nate** > Pronunciation: dis-'kri-m&-"nAt > Function: verb > Inflected Form(s): -nat·ed; -nat·ing > Etymology: Latin discriminatus, past participle of discriminare, from discrimin-, discrimen distinction, from discernere to distinguish between – more at DISCERN > Date: 1628 > … > 2 : to make a difference in treatment or favor on a basis other than individual merit \ \ So, yes, this guy was the victim of discrimination. Second, let’s look at the what Henry Cisneros, Secretary of the US Department of Housing and Urban Development has to say (emphasis is mine): [quote] _Every American has a right to fair housing._ The right to live where you choose, to raise a family, to own a home - in dignity and without fear of discrimination - is a fundamental right guaranteed to all. It cannot be denied to anyone because of race, color, national origin, religion, sex, familial status, or handicap… Uh-oh - looks like “profession” isn’t covered! Oh, no! Well, I guess that means it’s _okay_ to discriminate against lawyers, then! Woo hoo! Party on! And while we’re at it, we can discrimate against them faggots, ‘cause they ain’t listed, too! And say, we could come up with a whole _list_ of undesirables we wouldn’t want livin’ next to us! (Keep in mind this is only the federal statutes - the state or local laws wherever this incident took place might be more stringent, and might actually state that no discrimination is allowed _at all_.) So since you hold **Dinsdale** in such high regard (“I don’t like lawyers, but, you know, _you’re_ ok…”), if he were the lawyer denied housing, would you feel differently? Is he a “good” lawyer, as opposed to all the rest of those “scum-sucking” lawyers? Puh-lease, you goon. > [@](#): > > This guy for some reason didn’t want to be sued for something trivial especially since the lawyer would have an unfair advantage(think about from our last discussion) in sueing the developer would he not? So he made a business decision not to sell him a house for the fear of a suit. Is that his fault for having the fear or is it the legal system’s fault? His. So I guess we shouldn’t rent to Jews, because they won’t pay their rent as they’re all money-grubbers. And don’t rent to them ho-mo-seckshuls, ‘cause some of them other seedy ho-mo-seckshuls will start hangin’ around, and property values will decrease. And let’s not talk about them blacks - hoo, boy! There goes the neighborhood! It’s just good business not to rent to _those_ types. Your bigotry continues to astound me. > [@](#): > > Sure, maybe the guy(lawyer) wouldn’t have sued for something trivial but then again maybe he would. So doesn’t the developer have the right to sell to whoever he wants as long as it doesn’t interfere with current discrimination laws. Obvioulsy the lawyer had the right to buy some where else did he not? Ah, the mating call of the bigot - “Surely you could live somewhere _else_ where _your kind_ are more accepted?” I reiterate my other pit thread - go fuck yourself. > [@](#): > > Too bad esprix couldn’t think of those things before he flamed me again. Oh, I merely pointed out your own words, which make you out to be the flaming asshole you truly are. You can hang yourself by your own rope - you need no help from me. Perhaps someday you’ll hope to move into your dream house, or buy your dream car, or enter your kids into a school or daycare of your choice, and someone will say, “Sorry, we don’t take _your kind_ here,” regardless of whatever their perceived prejudice might be. Maybe then those same scum-sucking lawyers you deride might come in handy, jackass. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Wildest\_Bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Wildest\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wildest_Bill)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-lawyers-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/35781/62 "2000-10-12T16:22:32Z")
Originally posted by Esprix \* > [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Wildest Bill** \* > > Now if you want make a big deal out of this, please show me a law where you can not discriminate because of profession? I have never heard of such a law? So did he break a law? First of all, let’s define “discriminate,” from Merriam-Webster: > [@](#): > > Main Entry: **dis·crim·i·nate** > Pronunciation: dis-'kri-m&-"nAt > Function: verb > Inflected Form(s): -nat·ed; -nat·ing > Etymology: Latin discriminatus, past participle of discriminare, from discrimin-, discrimen distinction, from discernere to distinguish between – more at DISCERN > Date: 1628 > … > 2 : to make a difference in treatment or favor on a basis other than individual merit \ \ So, yes, this guy was the victim of discrimination. Second, let’s look at the what Henry Cisneros, Secretary of the US Department of Housing and Urban Development has to say (emphasis is mine): > [@](#): > > _Every American has a right to fair housing._ The right to live where you choose, to raise a family, to own a home - in dignity and without fear of discrimination - is a fundamental right guaranteed to all. It cannot be denied to anyone because of race, color, national origin, religion, sex, familial status, or handicap… > > Uh-oh - looks like “profession” isn’t covered! Oh, no! Well, I guess that means it’s _okay_ to discriminate against lawyers, then! Thanks for doing all that work to prove my point of the bogus lawsuit that the dude filed. > [@](#): > > So since you hold **Dinsdale** in such high regard (“I don’t like lawyers, but, you know, _you’re_ ok…”), if he were the lawyer denied housing, would you feel differently? Is he a “good” lawyer, as opposed to all the rest of those “scum-sucking” lawyers? Hey goof ball did you read his post? He probably would have assured the guy that he wasn’t that type of a lawyer in the first place. > [@](#): > > This guy for some reason didn’t want to be sued for something trivial especially since the lawyer would have an unfair advantage(think about from our last discussion) in sueing the developer would he not? So he made a business decision not to sell him a house for the fear of a suit. Is that his fault for having the fear or is it the legal system’s fault? > [@](#): > > So I guess we shouldn’t rent to Jews, because they won’t pay their rent as they’re all money-grubbers. And don’t rent to them ho-mo-seckshuls, ‘cause some of them other seedy ho-mo-seckshuls will start hangin’ around, and property values will decrease. And let’s not talk about them blacks - hoo, boy! There goes the neighborhood! It’s just good business not to rent to _those_ types. You know what screw you. Boy you sure do like putting words in people’s mouths. > [@](#): > > Your bigotry continues to astound me. You sure seem to a bigot against people with bad grammar maybe I should sue you! You **grammar misuser** hatin’ freakin biggot. > [@](#): > > Perhaps someday you’ll hope to move into your dream house, or buy your dream car, or enter your kids into a school or daycare of your choice, and someone will say, “Sorry, we don’t take _your kind_ here,” regardless of whatever their perceived prejudice might be. Maybe then those same scum-sucking lawyers you deride might come in handy, jackass. You know what I am not the sueing type if they didn’t want me living there, why would I want to live there. I would find somewhere else to live. I really would. Also I find it perculiar that you didn’t mention anything about the unfair advantage the builder would have if he was sued by the lawyer. Did you just coviently overlook that little bit of information? ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-lawyers-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/35781/63 "2000-10-12T16:31:47Z")
Whoosh. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-lawyers-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/35781/64 "2000-10-12T16:35:53Z")
{blinking} Oh… my… God. You are the lamest fucking idiot this side of the Pacific. Thank you, **andros** for the excellent summation. Ladies and gentlemen of the SDMB, I rest my case. Thank you, and goodnight. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-lawyers-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/35781/65 "2000-10-12T16:49:30Z")
Thanks for the compliments, Bill, but I’m not at all sure “more lawyers like me” is exactly what the world needs (unless you are referring to my dashing good looks). I’m pretty much the laziest slob you’ll ever meet. I chose my profession because the skills it requires come easily to me, and my present job because it pays the most for the least amount of work. I’ve posted in other threads that I believe most lawyers, across all disciplines, are just doing a job to make a buck, or for other nonaltruistic reasons. Not too many folk, lawyers or not, have agreed with me. Fine. That’s their option. And many folk have expressed their sympathy for me doing something I afford so little respect. Thanks for your concern, but I’ll manage. As long as those checks keep coming. Here’s another wrinkle. I work for a large bureaucracy, essentially defending denials of benefits to people who are all pretty sympathetic in one way or another. But just because they are sympathetic or needy doesn’t mean they are entitled to what they want under our system. So I can justify the “morality” of my day to day job saying I am maintaining the integrity of the system. In my practice, I daily encounter Plaintiffs’ lawyers who, in my opinion and 15 years of experience, are working primarily to make a buck. Notice I did not say all of the Plaintiffs’ attorneys I encounter, and of course the one’s I am referring to would disagree. The most obvious manifestation, tho, is that certain practitioners conduct cases in a manner that will convey no benefit to their clients, but will maximize their likelihood of collecting the largest possible fees (paid by the government in certain situations). So who’s the whore? Them or me? Or both of us? Or neither? But we are both needed for the present system to function. Have I adopted this mindset simply to make my work more palatable? I dunno. Don’t think so. In other things I used to do, I encountered many lawyers who did insurance defense work, whose primary goal was to avoid their client having to pay out, independent of their client’s culpability or the other party’s injury. So I don’t think you can pigeonhole me as pro Plaintiff or pro Defendant. Final anecdote. When I was in law school, I took a Negotiations class. We did a number of mock negotiations where teams would represent different parties, and would try to maximize certain positions. Neither team knew the other team’s goals. Say I represented a football team, and the other team represented the quarterback in a salary negotiation. At one point the question was asked, if you have maximized your position in a negotiation, but still have some cards left in your hand that might possibly benefit the other guy, do you give them to him, even tho doing so will not confer any additional benefit upon you? Out of a class of 30 or so 3d year law students, how many do you think answered yes? Me. And you may disagree with me, but I think at least a significant portion of practicing lawyers retain that mindset. Which I don’t personally consider tremendously commendable. Oh, and I have no idea what happened in that California case, if there indeed was such a case. I guess I could spend some time on Westlaw, but I didn’t bring it up, and the search would be a hassle given the dearth of details. If anyone could provide a few more details, I might be willing to conduct a search. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2000, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-lawyers-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/35781/66 "2000-10-12T16:55:02Z")
Oh - just wanted to let you know I was composing my last post (and doing other things) while the previous 3 were posted. Bill, shut up a minute, willya? Let’s find out if this single reputed instance of a lawyer being discriminated against ever happened, before we debate the marits ot the various positions. I think there is another thread going for folks who wanna flame WB. In writing the OP, I did not intend this to be a pro- or anti-WB thread. Is this a case where your staunchest ally in fact acts as your worst enemy (or something to that effect)? ---
**Author:** ![Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Random)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-lawyers-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/35781/67 "2000-10-13T00:37:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dinsdale \* > \*\*Bill, shut up a minute, willya? \*\*\* Is this a case where your staunchest ally in fact acts as your worst enemy (or something to that effect)? \*\* [Peter Lorre voice] Shhh, Dinsdale! You will reveal our nefarious plan. No one yet suspects that Bill is really an undercover agent of the ABA. Who thought it would work so well? Through his clueless arguments, he’s made plaintiff’s lawyers appear better than they have for a long time. [/Peter Lorre voice] ---
**Author:** ![Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siddhartha_Vicious)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-lawyers-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/35781/68 "2000-10-13T03:17:49Z")
Ah, now I see the problem. Dinsdale, I owe you an apology. When I said you were a smart ass, I thought you were kidding about being a lawyer. I thought you were being sarcastic in a strange, strange way. You really are a lawyer. I assumed you were trying to be clever. I now withdraw my comment in it’s entirety. Oh, and the asshole remark too. That said, I nonetheless maintain that: 1. Lawyer jokes are good, and 2. Hatred of Lawyers based on stereotypes are bad. Anyway, I’m sorry for the name calling. You being a lawyer makes your criticisms much more palatable than they would’ve been had the come from someone not in the field. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-lawyers-if-they-cant-take-a-joke/35781.md?page=3)