# Fuck ME!! I really don't need another F'n DOG!!!!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [July 30, 2013, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885 "2013-07-30T05:25:02Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@bubba\_jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubba_jr)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2013, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/1 "2013-07-30T05:25:02Z")
FUCK ME!!! I’ve got enough fucking animals.
Both my “technical” in laws died recently so now we have 8 fucking cats. 2 of them won’t acknowledge my existence so I really only correspond with 6 of them. And only one of them is mine. I love all 6 of 'em and don’t want them to leave, they all the have their little quirks that make me smile and make my day better… Until it comes to cat box sifting time…
Dogs, I brought one in to this relationship, and then another appeared at the shop. I love both them pups too. Luck as it may be, the older one, 7 years old, lymphoma. The younger, 3 years, bad kidneys(though I think it was dehydration).
So the younger dog that showed up at the shop, she was about 9 weeks, tiny, cute, a little shy, no tail, kind of goofy looking. I looked for an owner, nobody gave 2 shits, its the way of the area… Don’t fix your dog, it gets knocked up and then when the pups get out… Oh Well.
Now this one.
Last Tuesday, my big dog and my little dog are going nuts. Chasing a ratty little dog up and down the fence barking their fool heads off. Happens occasionally here, usually the outside the fence dog be-bops along and goes away. Nope, I went out and the offending dog was kind of friendly and really young.
FUCK!!! So I coral my dogs in the office and wait it out. 3 hours later the offending dog is still right outside the front door. FUCK. Its hot, its got to be
thirsty, and only a dick wouldn’t bring it water.
So I brought it water… First thing this dog did was piss all over itself, and roll over and present its scrawny belly at my feet. So I scrubbed the piss covered scrawny belly and rolled it over and pointed its snout into the water bowl, while getting pissed on. (submissive pissing). Little dog, about 25lbs, drank a half
gallon of water.
I realized that the little piss machine was really young, I’m guessing 4-5 months and really skinny, so I coaxed it inside to eat, and it ate, and ate, and ate, over a days worth of food for a 90lb dog.
First time I’ve ever sat there and watched a creatures belly increase in size, in real time, as it ate. Amazing.
So, eventually the bowl was empty, and it wanted more… Then it decided that I was the “bestest thing ever”. Hyper, crazy, GRATEFUL… Did I mention I don’t need another fucking dog, and I’m a sucker…
Brought her home and the little lady is trying to name it… I’m trying to give it away. I did put up ads, nobody wants to claim it, though I did get one call from 1000 miles away…
The poor dog, learned what kung fu kitty justice is (yelp) and we all heard about it (yelp yelp yelp). Made friends with some of the other kitty’s. My big dog couldn’t give 2 shits less, but my little dog, she’s pissed, she’s supposed to be the little misbehaved dog. But she’s having fun wrestling with the new little dog.
I don’t need this fucking dog. She’s laying here at my feet. When she showed up she was scrawny, now you can’t feel her backbone anymore. Her back claws were worn and her fronts were sharp, like she spent her life jumping at a fence. Her front claws are now half worn.
I DO NOT NEED ANOTHER FUCKING DOG!!!
She just rolled over and realized she wasn’t touching my foot anymore, so she had to get up and reposition. FUCK.
I’m so pissed off, then I lean over and rub its belly.
I’m so pissed off that some asshole had this little pup in a pen, didn’t pay attention to it and won’t respond to ads that its missing. (exactly how I got my
last dog).
Its been 6 days, I finally put a collar on her, and she didn’t complain, she seemed to take it as a badge of honor and had to go show everybody… weird, usually they whine and complain and kick at the damn thing the first time they get one.
Fuck… I think I’m stuck with this thing.
[http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5328/9353266179\_2135c066dd\_c.jpg](http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5328/9353266179_2135c066dd_c.jpg)
[http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3834/9356044030\_65355c1612\_b.jpg](http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3834/9356044030_65355c1612_b.jpg)
---
### Author:  [@Psychopants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psychopants)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2013, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/2 "2013-07-30T05:55:20Z")
I will take her/him.
---
### Author:  [@BleizDu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BleizDu)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2013, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/3 "2013-07-30T08:15:14Z")
Oh man I feel for you.
Some months ago, while it was still damn cold, someone dumped a puppy near the dumpsters close to my barn. One of my dogs found this all back starving rail thin pup and I didn’t have the heart to let it there so I brought it home and cared for it for two weeks before finding someone to take it.
I was reallly really torn on whether keeping it or not, but with already two dogs, food budget is already high enough.
I was torn because she was the sweetest puppy I had ever seen, she would sleep in the garage without whining, or sleep with me all night without making a mess. Never trying to jump on legs, patiently sitting at your feet and squirming and looking at you with big dark eyes, argh!
---
### Author:  [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2013, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/4 "2013-07-30T13:41:17Z")
You are a very good guy.
Bubbadog
Disclaimer: I am not related to the Op.
Nor the dog
---
### Author:  [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2013, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/5 "2013-07-30T14:38:38Z")
If you’re near Atlanta, I’ll take her off your hands. Looks like a good dog.
---
### Author:  [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2013, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/6 "2013-07-30T18:50:18Z")
I guess location is everything. Around here the local county animal shelter is pretty much empty and local shelters can get real picky about who they adopt out to.
> **[I pit overzealous pet shelter rules](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=593623)**
>
> I just had a kid so I want to get a dog because I think being around dogs make you a better person, so I go down to the pet shelter to adopt one (I had previously only gotten puppies from friends and neighbors) because the local shelter has been...
---
### Author:  [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/7 "2013-07-30T20:10:16Z")
Awwwwww, what a sweetiehead. Good on you for taking her in. Congratulations on your new dog.
---
### Author:  [@Inter\_Alia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inter_Alia)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/8 "2013-07-31T01:35:33Z")
I feel for you. I’m nursing an emaciated stray back to health, and I have a bad feeling I have a third dog. I don’t want a third dog, and I can’t really afford a third dog. But I’m not having any luck getting someone to take him, and he’s so freaking attached to me already.
Anyone in the SE Louisiana area want a sweet, snuggly dog?
[Blaze 1](https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/dB5xm3ldy2EAUjk3iXFiGPhg3xqE7t6tiuGUzZb5ZM4?feat=directlink)
[Blaze 2](https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/3adQPj4Z8f_9BL4HJIC1Nvhg3xqE7t6tiuGUzZb5ZM4?feat=directlink)
[Blaze 3](https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/f7kG-hrkUIj7OA8UTIo65Phg3xqE7t6tiuGUzZb5ZM4?feat=directlink)
---
### Author:  [@bubba\_jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubba_jr)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/9 "2013-07-31T02:07:06Z")
Well, I’ve done fucked myself good this trip around…
The vet called today to schedule some bloodwork for my little dog, and I stepped in it completely. They already knew I had a stray since I asked them if they could scan for a chip, but… I scheduled to get this new one her vaccines.
I’m stuck now, totally screwed.
Everytime I even slightly thing about getting another dog, _POOF_ one shows up at the front door.
I lost one of these 2 a bit over 4 years ago. Tiny kidneys.
[http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7103/7066327199\_5024b50b68\_b.jpg](http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7103/7066327199_5024b50b68_b.jpg)
After a while of her sister being all depressed, I put it out in the universe that I thought I needed another dog. I had talked to the local no kill shelter, and was sort of keeping my eye out, when all of a sudden, there was a little puppy on
my doorstep.
[http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5117/7066327197\_dc4db32ab5\_b.jpg](http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5117/7066327197_dc4db32ab5_b.jpg)
Now, my big dog is a little short on time, you’d never know it, but 9 months ago they pulled a tumor the size of tennis ball out of her, a blood clot the size of a grapefruit, plus she was bleeding out internally. The tumor was sort of hanging off of her adrenal gland and wrapped completely around her aorta. Lymphoma.
Gave me a Franken Doggy, stitches stem to stern, They told me I’d be lucky to make it until the following morning, really lucky to make the end of the week and extremely lucky to make the end of the month. Well… 9 months later and you’d never know there was a damn thing wrong with her.
We didn’t go for the Chemo, we figured let it do its thing and my vet, she is fricken awesome, got her hooked up with her chinese herbs and stuff. It seems to be working.
For the record, the vet is a little half oriental-ish lady, she has more energy in her big toe than I’ve ever had in my entire body in my entire life. Traditional western medicine, but when that is failing… We go eastern, herbs and acupuncture and all that. I’m really glad I found her.
So… now we need to figure out how to fit 3 dogs in my truck.
As for the shelters, out here they are packed, southern New Mexico. Some of the things that happen to animals out here is just rotten. Don’t fix your animals, and when they do have puppy’s, just kick them out into the highway.
---
### Author:  [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/10 "2013-07-31T02:07:16Z")
Good on you for being a good person. The world needs more like that. And three dogs isn’t so bad-- after my brother died i took in his dog which brought us to FOUR. I reacted basically like you, but she was my brother’s most important thing, and I loved him dearly, so I felt I had to take her. I have to say, almost 7 months later, I wouldn’t give her up for anything, and she fits in so well you;d never know she wasn’t always here. I hope it goes as well for you.
---
### Author:  [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/11 "2013-07-31T02:43:53Z")
> [@Inter\_Alia](#):
>
> I feel for you. I’m nursing an emaciated stray back to health, and I have a bad feeling I have a third dog. I don’t want a third dog, and I can’t really afford a third dog. But I’m not having any luck getting someone to take him, and he’s so freaking attached to me already.
>
> Anyone in the SE Louisiana area want a sweet, snuggly dog?
>
> [Blaze 1](https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/dB5xm3ldy2EAUjk3iXFiGPhg3xqE7t6tiuGUzZb5ZM4?feat=directlink)
> [Blaze 2](https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/3adQPj4Z8f_9BL4HJIC1Nvhg3xqE7t6tiuGUzZb5ZM4?feat=directlink)
> [Blaze 3](https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/f7kG-hrkUIj7OA8UTIo65Phg3xqE7t6tiuGUzZb5ZM4?feat=directlink)
I couldn’t help but laugh at the little doggie, her expression the same in every photo.
---
### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/12 "2013-07-31T04:50:46Z")
> [@bubba\_jr](#):
>
> Fuck ME!! I really don’t need another F’n DOG!!!
Well, maybe not anymore, now that you have that new one. My town limits us to 3 dogs and that’s the only thing that keeps me from having more. That and though my daughter way be moving home, her ex is taking our granddoggies without so much as a by your leave. The bastard. :mad:
---
### Author:  [@Inter\_Alia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inter_Alia)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/13 "2013-07-31T15:44:23Z")
> [@Little\_Bird](#):
>
> I couldn’t help but laugh at the little doggie, her expression the same in every photo.
I know. It’s like he’s thinking, “I know why you’re taking pictures of me. Don’t you want to keep me? I want to stay with you.” And then I feel guilty.
---
### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/14 "2013-07-31T18:41:11Z")
> [@bubba\_jr](#):
>
> FUCK ME!!!
Well, I do like you an awful lot at the moment… 😃
**InterAlia** , that is a sweet, sweet dog! I’m so glad you don’t live near me or I’d be thinking about adding to the menagerie.
---
### Author:  [@Inter\_Alia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inter_Alia)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/15 "2013-07-31T19:11:20Z")
I have family in central Florida. I can bring him to you at Thanksgiving! Of course, I’ll be hopelessly attached to him by then.
---
### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/16 "2013-07-31T19:17:59Z")
Hey, you keep that little angel away from me!
---
### Author:  [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/17 "2013-07-31T19:29:01Z")
You’re a better person for it. 🙂
I love beagles (can’t resist 'em) and have two. I would love to adopt more but the reality of it is that I can’t afford any more. Darn it.
I win the lottery and I’ll open a beagle farm!
---
### Author:  [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/18 "2013-07-31T19:49:53Z")
[https://picasaweb.google.com/116321657869809362085/MyPictures?authkey=Gv1sRgCLnAl\_Lpi5CI0wE#5906868519510437330](https://picasaweb.google.com/116321657869809362085/MyPictures?authkey=Gv1sRgCLnAl_Lpi5CI0wE#5906868519510437330)
Since we’re sharing doggie pics, here’s my Sarah (pound rescue) and Ramsay (Valentine’s Day gift from the ex). 😃
---
### Author:  [@Inter\_Alia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inter_Alia)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/19 "2013-07-31T20:14:47Z")
So cute! And so desperate for those treats!
---
### Author:  [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885/20 "2013-07-31T20:29:14Z")
That’s why they love going to the bank! 😃
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-me-i-really-dont-need-another-fn-dog/664885.md?page=2)