# Fuck New York Apartment Hunting... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 25, 2007, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382 "2007-09-25T02:08:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/1 "2007-09-25T02:08:35Z")
I’m so sick of seeing shit like this on Craigslist for shared apartments… [http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/roo/431267089.html](http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/roo/431267089.html) After a long period of people listing a litany of things they need their future roommate to be. (must be vegan, etc…) I am getting fucking sick of possibly thinking of living with one of these fucking tools. Prefer “creative” types. That’s fucking great. Now I’m not special enough to fucking pay more than my share of the rent, plus adhere to your ridiculous rules? The goddamned real estate market here is so awful that I simply can’t afford to live alone and study at the same time, so I’m just going to have to bite the bullet I guess. Either that or live in an extremely inconvenient location. But the worst is the one I posted above. Someone who is NEVER HOME! I really hate this shit. What? Where the fuck am I supposed to go? Also someone who, “doesn’t party” so I guess I’m supposed to go to the fucking library while you’re sitting at home enjoying the place that I’m paying for all by yourself? What a goddamned joke. This chick also wants to give said person the room next to the bathroom in a railroad apartment. Don’t come home, but when you do, be ready for me to come into your room to use the bathroom at night. It has really gotten terrible. If I had the opportunity, I’d rent a place myself and find a roomate to sublet to, just so I could fucking make all of these stupid stipulations. It’s a freaking joke, I tell you. I’ve even seen some that require jobs. Regardless of the fact that I have a stable and adequate income. It said on the page at least four times that there would be no exceptions to this. Jesus H. Christ I don’t know how I’ll make it. I don’t have my fucking loan money yet either and I have to move out by the end of the month ☹ ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/2 "2007-09-25T02:18:14Z")
That shit’s _hilarious_. Are they really that bad? That reads like what I’d imagine a parody of an NYC craigslist ad would read. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/3 "2007-09-25T02:29:56Z")
Maybe something that wouldn’t appear on Craigslist would be more attractive to you? Like a room in some older person’s home? I can’t believe they’re getting a grand for that setup. No fuckin’ way. ---
**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/4 "2007-09-25T02:43:53Z")
Yes I’m beginning to research those options. I know of a few things, for example. Maybe I ought to go and buy that book about real-estate in New York, but I get the feeling that a studio anywhere will be out of my price range… ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/5 "2007-09-25T02:49:49Z")
Where do you work? Have you though of living in Jersey City? It’s closer to parts of Manhattan (via the PATH) than Brooklyn or Queens is. ---
**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/6 "2007-09-25T02:52:56Z")
Jersey’s out because I go to school in Brooklyn College which would be a trek and a half. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/7 "2007-09-25T03:40:23Z")
What a deal. No really! Who would not want the roommate coming into their bedroom at night and taking a shit? I’m sure everybody could sleep through that right? She of course must expect you to pay like 25% of the rent, and utilities, so she can use the place by herself most of the time. What a dreamy arrangement this person is offering. I really hope you can find something that works out nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/8 "2007-09-25T03:44:18Z")
What really cinches the deal is the “you must be gone from 10am to 8pm”. Oh, yeah, okay! Here’s a thousand dollars! ---
**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/9 "2007-09-25T04:02:17Z")
You know, I was so offended I actually wrote her to tell her what a ridiculous offer it was. I should write her again and say, Well since I’m prohibited from being in the apartment from the hours of 10 AM to 8 PM i’ll only pay 580 bucks in rent, seeing that I will not be able to use the apartment during those hours. ---
**Author:** ![Baffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@Baffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baffle)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/10 "2007-09-25T04:11:33Z")
You should post her unedited reply. (We can have fun trying to decode what she’s actually trying to say!) ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/11 "2007-09-25T04:46:58Z")
Rent control makes renting fun and easy! ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/12 "2007-09-25T05:28:12Z")
Oh my. Granted, I live in the armpit of California (though I find NY to be one of the most horrible cities in the US), but jeeeeeeeeeeeeesus. I live in a 1,025 square foot apartment that has two master bed rooms and two full baths. We have two full balconies, a washer and dryer on the patio, vaulted ceilings, and new cabinets. Our complex has 4 pools, 4 jacuzzis, a gym, security, a club house with big screen TVs and a pool table. The entire complex has springs, rivers, and waterfalls going through it that have cool little froggies and fish in them. Massive trees are throughout the entire property (which sprawls over like an entire block). For that, we pay $975. Frankly, this complex is one of the most expensive in town and is really over priced (compared to comparable, newer places within the city). Our friends are continually astonished that we pay as much as we do and we are always being told that we are being ripped off. $1000 for a crappy room and one bathroom? And that’s WITH a roommate? Jesus CHRIST. Is that normal there or is that bitch just insane? ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/13 "2007-09-25T05:39:30Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] $1000 for a crappy room and one bathroom? And that’s WITH a roommate? Jesus CHRIST. Is that normal there or is that bitch just insane? [/QUOTE] No, that’s pretty normal. Though maybe not for that area. My first apartment here was pretty much the same set-up though it was in the heart of Greenwich Village, so it was a much more desirable and expensive neighborhood. I’d never pay that much for something like that on 29th & 2nd. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/14 "2007-09-25T06:08:06Z")
Flag it as spam. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/15 "2007-09-25T16:09:00Z")
Please forward that ad to anyone thinking of moving to New York (well, anyone who’s not a multi-millionaire). That ad is _not_ the exception. Gawker has a column devoted to this crap called [Live with a Douche](http://gawker.com/news/live-with-a-douche/). My personal fave: > [@](#): > > Small BR with hardwood floors, high ceiling, no windows, elevator building, shared kitchen, dining area, and no living room. > > the place is spotless and bug free. I keep the doors and windows closed at all times so bugs can’t get inside. the furniture is new and you must keep it that way. you will need to sit on a cushion or a piece of cardboard. you cannot sit directly on the furniture. > > i am a firm believer in “stink ass” which is basically the ability of bad smells to transfer onto other objects. the smell can soak into furniture and make it smell even after someone gets up. > > you cannot bring food into your room because sometimes ants will get it. That’ll be $900, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/16 "2007-09-25T16:13:25Z")
[QUOTE=Merkwurdigliebe] Jersey’s out because I go to school in Brooklyn College which would be a trek and a half. [/QUOTE] Another thought…can you put a “looking for a roommate” ad out there? If the waters are as polluted as it appears, you’d probably be able to snag a normal roommate with a simple “looking for a roommate. I have no list of demands. Be courteous, clean up after yourself, and don’t be surprised if I have some sleepovers.” They’ll be beating your door down! ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/17 "2007-09-25T17:05:17Z")
[QUOTE=Cat Fight] Gawker has a column devoted to this crap called [Live with a Douche](http://gawker.com/news/live-with-a-douche/). My personal fave: [/QUOTE] That is fucking hilarious. > [@Gawker](#): > > I go out drinking several nights during the week. I often get locked out of the house and sometimes will need to call you to let me in or meet me at the apartment if you are away. You must always come to the house if I contact you. That’s just one paragraph from the [most absurd](http://gawker.com/news/chelsea/get-nervous-get-nervous-259687.php) one. “Alcoholic seeks enabler.” ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/18 "2007-09-25T18:10:31Z")
I don’t think the ad posted in the OP is all that unusual. Many people have crazy setups like that. I’ve seen lots of similar ads and know people, perfectly nice people, who either live that way or offer a place that way. I think a thousand is a little high but if he/she lowers it to $800, someone will snap that baby up. Lots of people only work in the city or need a place to crash a few nights a week and $800 is cheap compared to a hotel. The “stink ass” one is just nutty. Dude’s got some kind of phobia or something. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/19 "2007-09-25T18:27:06Z")
“My last roommate had to leave abruptly for personal reasons. . .” Uh-huh. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382/20 "2007-09-25T19:59:09Z")
An old roommate of mine once answered an ad from a guy looking for a roommate. What made it a little skeevy was that the guy was a professor, and would only accept a student. The student would pay 3/4 of the rent, not get a real bedroom (basically could just put a mattress or some shredded paper in a closet), and had to work for the professor. For free, of course. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-new-york-apartment-hunting/420382.md?page=2)