# Fuck off and die, Do-It-Yourself parking ticket writer **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 17, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397 "2009-09-17T02:30:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/181 "2009-09-21T17:44:08Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > You are such an ass. How can it be a backpedal when I already admitted that I didnt take the time to check my parking job. Because first it was, “I was over the edge and didn’t care,” and then it was, “I couldn’t help being over the edge because my metal penis is so huge and throbbing.” That’s a backpedal. > [@](#): > > Now, if you are going to classify anyone that does a poor park job as a “retard” (a very offensive derogatory term for many families, may I add) then I am going to suppose millions, and millions of Americans are as you say “retards”. Yup, they are. What’s your point? > [@](#): > > Oh, by the way, Mr. Retard, the attempted sentence: > > **Bullshit last-second desperate backpedaling is pathetic and fail.** > > . . . . . . . . would get an “F” in any Special Education class. That’s **Ms.** Epithet to you, retard. Side note: one of us has a degree in English, and it sure as hell isn’t you. Come back when you’ve got an understanding of linguistics greater than a fifth-grade level. > [@](#): > > You can go home and cry to your mommy now. Aw, aren’t his insults just the cutest? I bet he cribbed them from the 12 year old who sits next to him in class. > [@jjimm](#): > > Clearly for your parents in particular. Zing. > [@St.Anger](#): > > That remark would resemble 99.9% of the people that post insults on this board. They are all probably dweebs that wouldn’t dare call someone a retard or a dumb redneck to someone’s face, but they get the big muscles when they come on here. Remember, folks, Internet Tough Guy can kick your ass, because he’s seen pictures of some of us, and we look like wimps! Please ignore the massive logic hole whereby (a) he assumed that the particular photos he has looked at are representative of the board population as a whole and (b) indicative of the skills of the pictured people in a fight, considering that (c) he himself doesn’t appear in any of them, yet can allegedly beat all of us up. > [@St.Anger](#): > > You are going to compare my parking job to killing 6 million Jews, then you are as a big an idiot as everyone else attacking me here. I agree, that comparison would be completely out of line. Hitler was \*\*way \*\*better at killing Jews than you were at parking your truck. > [@St.Anger](#): > > That’s quite a backpeddle. Your spelling would get an A in any Special Education class. Good job graduating to the group home, buddy! > [@billfish678](#): > > Fucker probably LOOKED at it too ! Let’s not neglect to freak out about the **breathing on it** , either. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/182 "2009-09-21T17:58:08Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Behold today’s conservative movement. I didn’t say I endorsed the behavior. I just said that there would probably be “reasonable doubt” in my mind as a juror. That being said, a good arse-whipping would stop this wanna be traffic cop from leaving little notes everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/183 "2009-09-21T18:02:09Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > I didn’t say I endorsed the behavior. I just said that there would probably be “reasonable doubt” in my mind as a juror. Of course you did. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/184 "2009-09-21T18:02:24Z")
Hey, everyone be careful here. It looks like St. Anger has a +10 MISPOP,\* and you’d need to roll at least a 19 or 20 to save against that… \*Massive Internet Swinging Penis of Power ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/185 "2009-09-21T18:11:28Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Of course you did. :rolleyes: I don’t endorse it. It would be wrong because we live in a civilized society. But I would have an evil damned grin on my face if it happened. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/186 "2009-09-21T18:14:47Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > I don’t endorse it. It would be wrong because we live in a civilized society. But I would have an evil damned grin on my face if it happened. I am reconsidering my estimate. Between a sixteenth and an eighth of an inch. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/187 "2009-09-21T18:21:47Z")
This has been fun, Did you really think people would massively support bad parking and pointless rage? Throw ticket away, furgidaboutit. Tell you what, if I ever want to complain about how you park your widdle truckie, I’ll tap you on the shoulder first. You’ll know its me by my Big Truck parked correctly between the lines. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/188 "2009-09-21T18:30:57Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > That being said, a good arse-whipping would stop this wanna be traffic cop from leaving little notes everywhere. Personally, I’d endorse a good arse-whipping for the retard who can’t park his truck. It’s the only way he’s going to learn, apparently, since straining so hard to put his basic education to work at deciphering the arcane symbols on the piece of paper left on his windshield rendered him so frustrated as to spew his impotent rage out on a poor, unoffending message board. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/189 "2009-09-22T00:15:43Z")
I recommend a good arse-whipping for any minor inconvenience I’ve ever endured. What else do I have to accomplish for my Universal Asshole license? ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/190 "2009-09-22T00:42:30Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > I recommend a good arse-whipping for any minor inconvenience I’ve ever endured. What else do I have to accomplish for my Universal Asshole license? Typical fucking American. 😃 You can’t just say things to acquire your UAL. You have to earn that shit man. There are tons of fine examples right here in The Pit as to how to most effectively earn that license in as little time as possible. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/191 "2009-09-22T02:09:22Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > I just said that there would probably be “reasonable doubt” in my mind as a juror. You said that? [Where?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/search.php?searchid=4625467) If you really said that, you might want to have the admins investigate who’s disappearing your posts. Unless you misspelled “reasonable.” [And “doubt.”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/search.php?searchid=4625478) ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/192 "2009-09-22T02:39:36Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Personally, I’d endorse a good arse-whipping for the retard who can’t park his truck. It’s the only way he’s going to learn, apparently, since straining so hard to put his basic education to work at deciphering the arcane symbols on the piece of paper left on his windshield rendered him so frustrated as to spew his impotent rage out on a poor, unoffending message board. Well, you really told me. Now that your done chirping, make yourself useful, honey, and get back in the kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/193 "2009-09-22T03:04:21Z")
and … \*\*Shot from Guns \*\*rolls the 20 sided die… IT’S A 19! Saved from the +10 MISPOP!!! ---
**Author:** ![jasonh300](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@jasonh300](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasonh300)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/194 "2009-09-22T03:07:22Z")
> [@Brilharma](#): > > Excellent, well crafted rant. Except… > > When was an F-150 declared a “large” truck? I mean, compared to my Ranger, yeah, but otherwise? A friend of mine had an older extended cab F150 with an eight-foot bed and it was like driving a limousine. It was a foot or two longer than most parking spaces and very difficult to park. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/195 "2009-09-22T03:53:28Z")
But did you have to wear a funny little chauffeur’s cap? ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/196 "2009-09-22T06:50:42Z")
I drive a suburban…I like to find those compact car parking spaces take like 8 of them. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/197 "2009-09-22T14:44:39Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > You said that? [Where?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/search.php?searchid=4625467) If you really said that, you might want to have the admins investigate who’s disappearing your posts. > > Unless you misspelled “reasonable.” > > [And “doubt.”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/search.php?searchid=4625478) I’m sorry. I typed “reasonable doubt” when I meant to type “jury nullification”. I get those terms confused. Especially during voir dire. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/198 "2009-09-22T14:55:57Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > I’m sorry. I typed “reasonable doubt” when I meant to type “jury nullification”. I get those terms confused. Especially during voir dire. No, you said: > [@](#): > > Now, if you would have caught him in the act and beaten him senseless, I wouldn’t convict you if I was on your jury.. The SDMB has a feature where we can go back and see what was said in the past. You know this, right? ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/199 "2009-09-22T15:10:10Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > Also, I am not one of those douche bags that diagonally parks their brand new $75,000 sports car over four spots so no one comes close to their four-wheeled penis. My 90 year old mother parked like that once, far in the back of the lot, not to save her older car, but just because she is terrified of parking and hitting things and having us take her keys away. So anyway, her older car is doing no harm but somebody like YOU thinks she has agrieved the universe and jams her spot with shopping carts, so she needs a clerk to remove them, and she now has a thousand dollars worth of paint damage all over. Jerk! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/200 "2009-09-22T18:13:25Z")
> [@the\_first\_supraliminal](#): > > My 90 year old mother parked like that once, far in the back of the lot, not to save her older car, but just because she is terrified of parking and hitting things and having us take her keys away. If the old bag can’t fucking park, she can’t fucking drive, and she fully deserves to have those keys snatched out of her gnarled little paws. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397.md?page=11)