# Fuck off and die, Do-It-Yourself parking ticket writer **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 17, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397 "2009-09-17T02:30:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/101 "2009-09-17T19:07:30Z")
> [@Fantome](#): > > Fake tickets are “pranky” and have an element of humor to them. A hand written note expressing dissatisfaction of his parking job would come off as more ass-holish. Well, yes I suppose how one wrote the note, that could be true. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/102 "2009-09-17T19:07:50Z")
> [@Fantome](#): > > Did I say you couldn’t win? I said one is more\*\* ass-holish \*\*than another. Or did you mean you can’t win because different people have different opinions? **Boo-hoo**. Sir, I am going to have to write YOU a ticket… ---
**Author:** ![Fantome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Fantome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fantome)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/103 "2009-09-17T19:10:22Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Well, yes I suppose how one wrote the note, that could be true. Yeah, I guess you could bring your happy face stamp along. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/104 "2009-09-17T19:17:23Z")
> [@Fantome](#): > > Yeah, I guess you could bring your happy face stamp along. Well, if you are going to bring along a stack of “parking tickets”… ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/105 "2009-09-17T19:18:30Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > A guy that mad could do a lot of bad things to society. Things that wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t done what you did. The guy has said he will now do what you didn’t want him to do on purpose. He is also likely to try and catch the next person who does it. It may have been a bit petty to write the “parking ticket” especially if the OP’s description of where he parked his truck is accurate. However, the OP clearly has serious anger issues of his own that far outweigh the actual event. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/106 "2009-09-17T19:28:50Z")
> [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](#): > > You should have saved the note and posted it to [Passive Aggressive Notes](http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/). I love that site. At least the OP didn’t back into his parking spot. Witnessing truck and SUV drivers doing that sends me into frothing rage. I’m not sure why. I may have a brain lesion of some sort. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/107 "2009-09-17T19:55:31Z")
I’ll say one thing; the level of anger at the fake parking ticket makes me think that **St. Anger** knows, deep down, that he wasn’t completely in the right. As Jimbo and I say to each other regularly as we cruise through a parking lot full of assholes, “Parking is haaaa-aaard.” ETA: Okay, I’ll say two things. Three things. Can I just come in again? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/108 "2009-09-17T20:01:42Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > It may have been a bit petty to write the “parking ticket” especially if the OP’s description of where he parked his truck is accurate. However, the OP clearly has serious anger issues of his own that far outweigh the actual event. Right, because no one ever posts over-the-top descriptions of their anger and revenge _ **fantasies** _. ---
**Author:** ![Claire\_Beauchamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ec9cab/32.png) [@Claire\_Beauchamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claire_Beauchamp)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/109 "2009-09-17T20:25:45Z")
> [@Michael\_Ellis](#): > > Seriously, OP. You satisfy just about every negative stereotype about pickup drivers there is. Bad driving? Self-important? Misogynist? Aggressive to the point of roid rage? Check, check, check, and a big ol’ check. > The only incongruity in your story is that you were at Target instead of WalMart. I would say **pickup and SUV drivers** > [@villa](#): > > Every time I hear the excuse that someone went to the back of the lot to park like this, I roll my eyes a little. While that might have been true this time, I have little doubt that it isn’t true much of the time. I’ve little doubt that parking like that is a common practice, whether it is over the line into the spot in front, or straddling the lines, or parking in a compact only spot (really, bastard, your Chevy Tahoe looks like a fucking compact to you?) or spending just a couple of minutes in the disabled spot, because after all no one was there anyway and I just need a pack of smokes… > > I could be wrong. The OP could be a parking angel at all other times. But I doubt it. Especially with the utterly ridiculous attitude shown towards anyone who dares to even look at his wunder-truck. Yup, there ya go. If I saw your penis surrogate parked way off in an area where no one else had parked, and you were over the line, I wouldn’t have left you a note, but I would have smirked. I HAVE left notes to nimrods who park over the side line so tight up against my driver’s side door that I could not get in my car. I have also left notes for the SUV drivers who park in the compact spaces in my garage at work (which, because of height and length, make it impossible to see or navigate well around corners). The people who park deliberately in 2 spaces to protect their precious penis surrogate in crowded lots/garages have also gotten notes. I have left notes on vehicles parked in areas that were not even a parking space. I have actually said something to people I observed parking in handicapped spaces without a permit, or who parked in fire lanes. Mind you, the number of notes I’ve left in my entire life number less than a dozen, but the number of times I have been _tempted_ to leave notes to these self-important assholes is beyond counting. Park where you’re allowed, and park in the damn space. It’s not that hard, and you’re not too special/important to do otherwise. If you drive a vehicle that is so wide/long/beefed up with crap that parking in normal spaces is difficult, perhaps it’s time to rethink that vehicle and take a look at those self-esteem / identity issues. (I realize that some people really do need trucks for practical purposes, but they’re in the minority, and most normal pickups will fit in most parking spaces.) If you are simply incapable of driving/parking a vehicle of that size, then, again, some re-thinking is in order. If you think that your vehicle is too special to weather the risks of parking correctly in a single space, then maybe you just need to leave that vehicle at home or only drive it on test tracks. ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/110 "2009-09-18T00:01:53Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > It’s a wonder the OP hasn’t yet challenged everyone in this thread to a fight. I’ve seen photo albums of some of the Doper get-togethers over the years. Me challenging anyone on this message board to a fight would be even more of a mismatch than that black kid punching out that nerd on that bus the other day. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/111 "2009-09-18T00:06:56Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > I’ve seen photo albums of some of the Doper get-togethers over the years. Challenging anyone on this message board to fight would be even more of a mismatch than that black kid punching out that nerd on that bus the other day. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re not that weak. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/112 "2009-09-18T00:08:16Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > I’ve seen photo albums of some of the Doper get-togethers over the years. Me challenging anyone on this message board to a fight would be even more of a mismatch than that black kid punching out that nerd on that bus the other day. I’ll kick you in the nuts first if it will get the ball rolling 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/113 "2009-09-18T00:41:36Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > I’ve seen photo albums of some of the Doper get-togethers over the years. Me challenging anyone on this message board to a fight would be even more of a mismatch than that black kid punching out that nerd on that bus the other day. Umm… S’cuse me? Why are you posting here then? Your empathy garnering skills have achieved Epic Fail: You want sympathy from the board while also trying to dis / threaten the board? Is Don King promoting you as an ‘Ignorance Fights Back’ contender or something? ---
**Author:** ![UncleNito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7cd45c/32.png) [@UncleNito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleNito)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/114 "2009-09-18T00:49:43Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > I’ve seen photo albums of some of the Doper get-togethers over the years. Me challenging anyone on this message board to a fight would be even more of a mismatch than that black kid punching out that nerd on that bus the other day. OK, please answer my question: Is there, or is there not, a prosthetic scrotum on your F-150? A Urinating Calvin decal will also be credited. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/115 "2009-09-18T00:49:52Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > You want sympathy from the board while also trying to dis / threaten the board? Hahaaa! the phrase ‘threaten the board’ is killing me! ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/116 "2009-09-18T01:50:02Z")
I get a huge kick out of real life trolling. Get over yourself, St Anger, life goes on you internet tough guy blowhard. ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/117 "2009-09-18T02:14:18Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > Umm… S’cuse me? Why are you posting here then? Your empathy garnering skills have achieved Epic Fail: > > You want sympathy from the board while also trying to dis / threaten the board? 1. I’m not looking for sympathy from anyone. Anyone that goes on the BBQ Pit looking for a “poor baby” is sadly mistaken. I was venting, and could give a rat’s ass if anyone sympathizes with me or not. 2. I did not threaten anyone. Cool your jets. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/118 "2009-09-18T02:44:29Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > 1. I’m not looking for sympathy from anyone. Anyone that goes on the BBQ Pit looking for a “poor baby” is sadly mistaken. I was venting, and could give a rat’s ass if anyone sympathizes with me or not. > > 2. I did not threaten anyone. > > Cool your jets. Fine. I must have gotten confused on that whole pic thread fighting mis-match thing. Going back, it does seem a little [del]creepy[/del] awkwardly phrased though, but whatever. Vent / park away. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/119 "2009-09-18T02:47:34Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > I’ve seen photo albums of some of the Doper get-togethers over the years. Me challenging anyone on this message board to a fight would be even more of a mismatch than that black kid punching out that nerd on that bus the other day. ::checks title bar of website:: :😕: ::checks title bar of website again:: I thought I had left the forum filled with posturing teenage gamer dudes and was on the forum filled with alleged adults. Something must be wrong with my browser refresh. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/120 "2009-09-18T03:09:22Z")
> [@Fantome](#): > > Yeah, I guess you could bring your happy face stamp along. Around here we call that my right boot! Personally, I think the ticket is ridiculous but the OP’s reaction is fucking hilarious! Challenging people to fight in the parking lot while his wife holds him back!? Priceless … and yet totally classless! I’d write down his license plate and ticket him every time I could, just for kicks! (pun intended) …see you in the parking lot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397.md?page=7)