# Fuck off and die, Do-It-Yourself parking ticket writer **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 17, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397 "2009-09-17T02:30:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/121 "2009-09-18T04:14:50Z")
> [@villa](#): > > Every time I hear the excuse that someone went to the back of the lot to park like this, I roll my eyes a little. Whenever I am driving our _actual_ big truck (Dodge Ram four door with a 12 foot bed), I will park it waaaay out there in the back, and over two spots. The reason is - other people are assholes. No, really! Here in S Cal, our parking spaces tend to be just barely big enough for a vehicle that size to park in and if I put it in a space nearer to the store, 9 time out of 10, someone with an SUV that is wider than the truck will either park right on top of the truck, or right behind it. And I won’t be able to get out. Which is also why my husband backs it in when he is driving it **lisacurl**. I don’t do it because I fail at reverse! **Claire Beauchamp** , you are right about the number of people that don’t need a huge vehicle, it just completely drives me insane to get stuck in a lot by a pristine unscratched truck! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/122 "2009-09-18T04:56:57Z")
Let’s point out one other thing to the “parking perfectionists” out there. Whether its an F150 or a Dodge Ram, some parking spots aren’t long enough, and the ass end of the truck sticks out in the lane. By parking far, far away from the store, and being a “retard” and overlapping the other spot, it actually allows other drivers more room to navigate across the parking lot when coming and going. This is especially useful when two cars are passing each other in the lane. And there are pedestrians. But it’s more important to fit RIGHT in those white lines no matter where you park, isn’t that right? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/123 "2009-09-18T05:12:29Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Darmok at Walmart. > > St Anger, when the ticket was read. The housewares fall down. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/124 "2009-09-18T05:17:39Z")
Small penis OP has small penis. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/125 "2009-09-18T12:05:39Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > Let’s point out one other thing to the “parking perfectionists” out there. Whether its an F150 or a Dodge Ram, some parking spots aren’t long enough, and the ass end of the truck sticks out in the lane. By parking far, far away from the store, and being a “retard” and overlapping the other spot, it actually allows other drivers more room to navigate across the parking lot when coming and going. > > This is especially useful when two cars are passing each other in the lane. > > And there are pedestrians. > > But it’s more important to fit RIGHT in those white lines no matter where you park, isn’t that right? My wag is that it’s those people who like to cut through the outer reaches of the parking lot in order to speed directly to a space that is within 20 paces of the store, who resent you parking so jauntily in the hinterlands. I mostly don’t care how people park at the store just make sure the damn cart gets returned to the corral! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/126 "2009-09-18T13:11:49Z")
> [@lisacurl](#): > > ::checks title bar of website:: > > :😕: > > ::checks title bar of website again:: > > I thought I had left the forum filled with posturing teenage gamer dudes and was on the forum filled with alleged adults. > > Something must be wrong with my browser refresh. The wires are crossed with the wayback machine. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/127 "2009-09-18T13:41:11Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > [www.peopleofwalmart.com](http://www.peopleofwalmart.com) [Room for 1](http://peopleofwalmart.com/?p=3289) looks like something [Mark Jenkins](http://www.xmarkjenkinsx.com/outside.html) would do. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/128 "2009-09-18T16:59:16Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > Whether its an F150 or a Dodge Ram, some parking spots aren’t long enough, and the ass end of the truck sticks out in the lane. **BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT.** Bullshit last-second desperate backpedaling is pathetic and fail. Should have stuck with, “I’m just a retard who doesn’t know or care how to park.” ---
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/129 "2009-09-18T18:44:28Z")
**Kaylasdad** - I love those commercials! Well done. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/130 "2009-09-18T19:33:41Z")
Sorry about the ticket, St. Anger. It was my girlfriend’s idea. Next time, I’ll just key your stupid truck like I wanted to originally. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/131 "2009-09-18T19:38:17Z")
Back in law school, I was pushed for time to make a class, and the only free parking spot not on the roof of the lot was unusuable because some bastard had parked his BMW in two spots. I eventually stomped into class, and told my friend next to me how some fucker, presumably from the MBA class, had done this, but I had showed him by calling to have him ticketed or towed. Then I noticed my other friend who sat on my other side getting up and running out the door to the parking lot. Ooooops. Sorry Mike, but you shouldn’t have done it. ---
**Author:** ![irae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f0a364/32.png) [@irae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irae)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/132 "2009-09-18T20:25:28Z")
I got a note the other day, on my itty-bitty Ninja 250, parked no closer than 18" from MY side of the lines. "Your [sic] unlucky in that Im fat- Your [sic] lucky in that im [sic] nice I crawled over through the passengers [sic] side - good way to get your bike tipped! More space even for the skinny ppl please! (smiley face)" Now I remember what car I was parked next to that day - it’s the crappy, blue, early 90’s Chevy two-door with the McCain / Palin sticker and the Georgia tags. At first I laughed, but then I started thinking, ‘the whale actually threatened to vandalize my bike despite my parking well within the lines. What would s/he do if there were, say, a CAR parked in the space?’ It was the irrationality of the thing that actually pissed me off. I’m tempted to write a response on the order of: Dear Fattie, One of us is unlucky in that you’re fat. It isn’t me. I park my very thin motorcycle well inside the lines of the space that I pay for. If you have a problem with that, then you have a problem. Vandalize my vehicle in any way and I’ll harpoon you, flense your carcass, and render it down for its valuable oil. (smiley face) Since learning of [passiveagressivenotes.com](http://passiveagressivenotes.com), though, I’ll probably post there instead. And just leave a note with the URL. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/133 "2009-09-18T20:34:47Z")
**irae** , I love it. Nice username/post combo, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/134 "2009-09-19T05:59:32Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > Small penis OP has small penis. Now, I posted the OP days ago, and you ALREADY came up with this? That is amazing. I bet you stayed up day and night for the past several days coming up with this post. Good for you. A small penis joke, I would have NEVER thought of that, I for one, applaud you on your brilliance. ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/135 "2009-09-19T06:05:46Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > **BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT.** Bullshit last-second desperate backpedaling is pathetic and fail. Should have stuck with, “I’m just a retard who doesn’t know or care how to park.” You are such an ass. How can it be a backpedal when I already admitted that I didnt take the time to check my parking job. When do I get credit for just parking far away from the store in the first place. Now, if you are going to classify anyone that does a poor park job as a “retard” (a very offensive derogatory term for many families, may I add) then I am going to suppose millions, and millions of Americans are as you say “retards”. Oh, by the way, Mr. Retard, the attempted sentence: **Bullshit last-second desperate backpedaling is pathetic and fail.** . . . . . . . . would get an “F” in any Special Education class. You can go home and cry to your mommy now. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/136 "2009-09-19T06:24:10Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > Oh, by the way, Mr. Retard, the attempted sentence: > > **Bullshit last-second desperate backpedaling is pathetic and fail.** > > . . . . . . . . would get an “F” in any Special Education class. This is the internet, there is no class here. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/137 "2009-09-19T07:31:49Z")
Tweak much? Motherfucker I can smell yer lab from over here. Pop your inflatable wife and run forest, run from the law in your badass F-150. Fuckin jerkoff! ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/138 "2009-09-19T10:51:02Z")
> [@villa](#): > > Sorry Mike, but you shouldn’t have done it. I don’t understand. Why not? Assuming what the OP says about how and where he parked, why is what he did wrong? Your anecdote seems irrelevant, since you specify it was the only space left on the parking lot. And this was a school parking lot, which in my experience, everyone knows–and can reasonably be expected to know–can fill up very quickly in the morning. Double parking in that parking lot is a clear evil. But the OP is talking about the back end of a grocery store parking lot, which is likely to stay quite empty for quite a while if the parking lot is empty now. Double parking is pretty much risk free in such a situation. The OP’s situation and the situation of your anecdote don’t seem relevantly similar. So why are you so sure that the OP did something wrong? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/139 "2009-09-19T11:02:29Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > (a very offensive derogatory term for many families, may I add) Clearly for your parents in particular. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/140 "2009-09-19T11:08:42Z")
If you can’t park it, don’t drive it. End of story. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397.md?page=8)