# Fuck off and die, Do-It-Yourself parking ticket writer **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 17, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397 "2009-09-17T02:30:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/161 "2009-09-20T03:28:11Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > I’ve never encountered a bigger bunch of ignorant stupid fucking assholes and pussies in my life. Hey, I’m not stupid or ignorant or a pussy! I have this great mental image of St. Anger going on: I see a sort of Walter Sobchack character, but with more of a mullet, screaming “This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!” while his somewhat overweight wife, dressed in an oversized Tweety Bird t-shirt and stretch pants pleads frantically with him to stop, because if he breaks probation again, they’ll be off the food stamps. That, or a zitty post-teenager working at the Taco Bell to make his child support payments, laying a patch out of the parking lot to impress the ladies. ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/162 "2009-09-20T04:14:39Z")
> [@Fantome](#): > > Not at all, tardo. You said “When do I get credit for just parking far away from the store in the first place.” My response “But what about all the good things Hitler did?” is supposed to convey the message that people generally don’t talk about something good someone did when their assholish actions are what’s raising eyebrows, that is, for anyone smart enough to figure that out. For those that aren’t, I explained it in my next sentence: But no, someone stupid enough just might think that I was trying to convey the message that lousy parking is on par with killing six million Jews. Nice job, Sparky. That’s quite a backpeddle. And the fact that you had to justify using Hitler in your analogy in the first place tells me that your self-imagined intellect is not quite as refined as it needs to be so let me help you out: Of all the historical figures to use in any argument, in any context, Hitler should be your LAST because of the emotional and historical baggage it carries. Whenever you use Hitler as an example in a debate, usually you are forced to first apologize for using him as an example in the first place, like you did, and then after getting attacked, re-explain the stupid analogy you were trying to make to begin with. It’s a bad move, its a no win situation, however, I am not the least bit surprised you would make such an idiotic statement to begin with. So you can call me “retard”, “tardo” all the names you want, but by using Hitler in this context, the name everyone here should be calling YOU is: Jackass. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/163 "2009-09-20T05:28:00Z")
Ahahahahahahaha. So much roid rage. ---
**Author:** ![Fantome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Fantome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fantome)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/164 "2009-09-20T14:30:05Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > That’s quite a backpeddle. Someone doesn’t know the definition of backpedal. Hint: It’s the same person that doesn’t know how to spell it. 😛 > [@](#): > > And the fact that you had to justify using Hitler in your analogy… …proves that the idiot that is the subject of scorn and ridicule needs simple things explained to him. > [@](#): > > Whenever you use Hitler as an example in a debate, usually you are forced to first apologize for using him as an example in the first place, like you did Do you really have that much trouble with reading comprehension or did you just make that last one up? I never apologized. > [@](#): > > So you can call me “retard”, “tardo” all the names you want, but by using Hitler in this context, the name everyone here should be calling YOU is: Jackass. That would bother me, right? If everyone were calling me a jackass page after page, it would really get on my nerves. Good, I’m glad you think so. This thread obviously didn’t work out the way you wanted it to, and that just made me smile a little…tardo. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/165 "2009-09-20T14:44:25Z")
I write out anonymous notes to stick on vehicle windows when they park in inconsiderate places, just to give them a heads-up on what fucksticks they are being. I don’t do this because I am a coward, but because if I confronted the person face-to-face and they reacted like the guy in the OP, either one or both of us is going to end up with severe injuries. If you think arguing the toss over what a cunt you are being is worth a visit to the hospital, you deserve everything you end up with. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/166 "2009-09-20T15:12:03Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > You people… > > The person who left the “ticket” was the asshole. If the parking was a real issue, the crybaby should’ve called the police, and if the officer didn’t laugh his/her ass off at the absurdity of how petty and nitpicky the asshole was being, he/she is the only one that should be writing a ticket. > > Crossing a parking line is only a problem in a full or nearly full lot. Anyone writing these bullshit tickets has far more issues than St. Anger here. Touching someone else’s property because they crossed some line without affecting anyone else, that’s a dickish thing to do. Well said, **Trickling Butthole Goo**. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/167 "2009-09-20T17:03:47Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > You people… > > The person who left the “ticket” was the asshole. If the parking was a real issue, the crybaby should’ve called the police, and if the officer didn’t laugh his/her ass off at the absurdity of how petty and nitpicky the asshole was being, he/she is the only one that should be writing a ticket. > > Crossing a parking line is only a problem in a full or nearly full lot. Anyone writing these bullshit tickets has far more issues than St. Anger here. \*\*Touching \*\*someone else’s property because they crossed some line without affecting anyone else, that’s a dickish thing to do. Are we still in kindergarden or something, where the MERE act of touching something inanimate is such a capital offense ? Fucker probably LOOKED at it too ! ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/168 "2009-09-20T17:17:04Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Well said, **Trickling Butthole Goo**. While that is an image I could have done without, I thank you for enlightening me as to what it stood for. It’s been racking my brain for minutes. Minutes I tell you! Now I can sleep soundly again. ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/169 "2009-09-20T18:10:00Z")
> [@Fantome](#): > > Someone doesn’t know the definition of backpedal. Hint: It’s the same person that doesn’t know how to spell it. 😛 …proves that the idiot that is the subject of scorn and ridicule needs simple things explained to him. Do you really have that much trouble with reading comprehension or did you just make that last one up? I never apologized. That would bother me, right? If everyone were calling me a jackass page after page, it would really get on my nerves. Good, I’m glad you think so. This thread obviously didn’t work out the way you wanted it to, and that just made me smile a little…tardo. 😃 Spoken like a beaten man (or dumb broad, whichever, take your pick). Get lost, freak. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/170 "2009-09-20T19:29:31Z")
Son, you’re goddamned joke. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/171 "2009-09-20T20:26:26Z")
> [@Fantome](#): > > Someone doesn’t know the definition of backpedal. Or passive-aggressive. ---
**Author:** ![Fantome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Fantome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fantome)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/172 "2009-09-20T22:24:28Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > Spoken like a beaten man (or dumb broad, whichever, take your pick). Get lost, freak. So _beaten_ if a man and _dumb_ if a “broad”? And I have my “pick” between being one of the two? Keep posting. Watching you make a fool of yourself is quite fun. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7cd45c/32.png) [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_Doubt)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/173 "2009-09-20T23:13:14Z")
> [@Walker\_in\_Eternity](#): > > Hey, don’t lump all owners of Smartcars in with this weasel.🙂 Or owners of beat up Tercels! Seriously, I’ve been known to leave notes also (one for a truck with Texas plates asked if all “drivers in Tex-ass” parked like idiots) but this was just stupid. Context is everything; if the OP was way out in the lot, why bother? He/she had a stick up the rear. ---
**Author:** ![Kewk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ab992/32.png) [@Kewk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kewk)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/174 "2009-09-21T04:57:07Z")
Is it too late in this thread to say: METALLICA! (RE: OP’s name) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/175 "2009-09-21T05:42:09Z")
Considering he’s been around for a while now _and_ we’re on page four of this thread, yes I believe it is too late. Sorry, better luck next time. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Snow\_Pea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Snow\_Pea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snow_Pea)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/176 "2009-09-21T15:21:59Z")
This is hilarious! Watching a douche like the OP froth at the mouth and go batshit in the parking lot would be so entertaining. I am totally ordering some of those “tickets”. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/177 "2009-09-21T15:28:08Z")
Did it occur to the op that by getting all bent out of shape, that you are allowing this weasely little prick to win? He accomplished exactly what he set out to do. Now, if you would have caught him in the act and beaten him senseless, I wouldn’t convict you if I was on your jury… ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/178 "2009-09-21T16:02:34Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > Now, if you would have caught him in the act and beaten him senseless, I wouldn’t convict you if I was on your jury.. For placing a card on your windshield? How fucking insecure do you have to be to do that? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/179 "2009-09-21T16:30:30Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > For placing a card on your windshield? How fucking insecure do you have to be to do that? My guess is between a quarter and a half an inch… ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397/180 "2009-09-21T16:48:17Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > Did it occur to the op that by getting all bent out of shape, that you are allowing this weasely little prick to win? He accomplished exactly what he set out to do. The OP makes it quite clear that he didn’t. Not only is the OP going to make a habit of crappy parking, turning laziness into actual hostility, but he’s going to lurk waiting for somebody, anybody to just look at his Compensator so he can beat the crap out of him. Did the weaselly little prick want to accomplish _that_? > [@](#): > > Now, if you would have caught him in the act and beaten him senseless, I wouldn’t convict you if I was on your jury.. Behold today’s conservative movement. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-and-die-do-it-yourself-parking-ticket-writer/510397.md?page=10)