# Fuck off March (minirants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2018, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819 "2018-03-01T15:17:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2018, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/181 "2018-03-13T15:25:00Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > How are you doing these days, **MissTake**? Meh. Just “celebrated” my 6th anniversary of being on the transplant list. My daughter is (finally) moving out, but is moving 3 hours away. I’m already simultaneously anxious for her to go and missing her like mad. Overall, I’m just tired. Thank you for asking - I’m used to being pretty invisible 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2018, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/182 "2018-03-13T16:40:16Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Is it possible that you were an onion in a past life, an through an incredibly implausible series of events and coincidences, the onion you were chopping was descended directly from a seed you produced? > > You gotta admit, the notion lends a new and poignant dimension to the term “an old family recipe”… Yea, I pretty sure that was it. I will keep that in mind. As _kiz_ said it was probably an elderly onion. This time of year before new crops are in, it is a real thing. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2018, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/183 "2018-03-13T19:48:45Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > Meh. Just “celebrated” my 6th anniversary of being on the transplant list. My daughter is (finally) moving out, but is moving 3 hours away. I’m already simultaneously anxious for her to go and missing her like mad. Overall, I’m just tired. > Thank you for asking - I’m used to being pretty invisible 😉 I think we’re all invisible to some extent. It’s sometimes difficult for me to remember people when the only distinguishing features are words on a screen that look just like everyone else’s! We don’t even have avatars. Anyway, the status quo isn’t always a bad thing, although I hope you get that transplant soon. It’s certainly been long enough. ETA: I hate raw onions! I’ve really tried to get over it. I have a juicer and drink a lot of vegetable juice because I have trouble digesting insoluble fiber (thanks, cancer), and I got a very small onion in a dollar bag of vegetables I bought at the fruit stand. I decided to give it a try because some vegetables have surprised me with their wonderful flavor (cabbage!). That one small onion has stankified a couple QUARTS of mixed fruit/vegetable juice. My gosh. I’ve tried to bury it in carrot juice, apple juice, celery juice. Nothing works. I’m not going to toss the juice but NO MORE ONIONS. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2018, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/184 "2018-03-13T21:23:14Z")
I like raw onions fine. There was however the time I decided to brew up a homemade bug spray in the blender using garlic and hot peppers. Gassed me and Mrs. J. right out of the kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2018, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/185 "2018-03-13T21:41:06Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I like raw onions fine. > > There was however the time I decided to brew up a homemade bug spray in the blender using garlic and hot peppers. Gassed me and Mrs. J. right out of the kitchen. I grew a bumper crop of hot cayenne peppers once, and the late Other Shoe wanted to oven-toast and then grind them. We … basically pepper sprayed ourselves right outta the house. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2018, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/186 "2018-03-13T21:42:14Z")
On the 26th, I get to have a CT Scan to determine if my bladder pain and sporadic blood is _just_ kidney or bladder stones, or if it’s something worse. Luckily for me, the scan won’t show everything, so I also get to have a cystoscopy. Awwww yeah. On the bright side, I’m getting married on the 23rd to my SO of 5 1/2 years, who’s smart, funny, interesting, fun, beautiful and 23 years my junior. So yeah, fuck March, but with a _clean_ dildo. Not the February dildo, which is rusty and misshapen ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2018, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/187 "2018-03-13T22:42:39Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Oh, shit. I really hope you can come to a place\* where you say “Hey, it’s not like anything magical is going to happen, so if I don’t believe in it, then it’s harmless, and I’m going to spend the time thanking all the gods that she’s an ex.” > \*like a friend of mine in a similar situation… but she’s the mom and they’re actually happily married (with a few major differences, but they’re talking them out… like this one). She’s rolling her eyes and muttering “No harm, no foul. No harm, no foul…” The act of doing it doesn’t bother me, and even though I’d have it differently I guess even her taking him to church isn’t horrible (though I am not going to have to step up my religions-of-the-world education game). But this is an entire step further, and it’s being and will continue to be used against me. She asked last night if I would like to attend or invite my parents. Well hell no on both counts. I can bet you 12 dollars right now when I pick my son up tomorrow, or maybe in the near future, he’ll ask and be upset that we’re not coming. Because she will tell him that I won’t let us go. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/188 "2018-03-14T00:40:06Z")
Some background for my rant: I work in scheduling for a bunch of different doctor’s offices. Mothers of small children, please put yourself on your child’s HIPAA form at his/her/its pediatrician’s office. I don’t care if you’re the one who always brings him/her/it to appointments. If you don’t have yourself listed on that HIPAA I cannot speak to you about your child’s appointments or or change them on your say-so. Why? Well, first of all it’s \*\*the law \*\*and second of all I don’t know what’s going on in your family. I don’t know if you have custody, if you’re just calling to rearrange appointments to screw with your ex, or if you’re a full-out psycho bitch like the mothers of several people I know. I’m sure you’re a very nice person but you forgot to put your own name on the HIPAA so you’re SOL. Likewise if you’re married and there’s ever a chance your spouse is going to have to call the doctor’s office for you, list them on your HIPAA. It makes your life and mine much easier. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/189 "2018-03-14T02:15:42Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I grew a bumper crop of hot cayenne peppers once, and the late Other Shoe wanted to oven-toast and then grind them. We … basically pepper sprayed ourselves right outta the house. Try growing horseradish roots and rending them down into sauce. Better yet, don’t try that. Once I was able to go back inside I had to wash every single blanket, sheet, comforter, pillow etc. in the place. It took weeks of work to get the couch to stop stinking. MissTake, I am also glad that you are on status quo. When [Helena330B]\*\* posted that message, I also suddenly started wondering what was happening. I suer hope you get off the transplant list soon. (by getting a transplant!) ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/190 "2018-03-14T02:23:33Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Try growing horseradish roots and rending them down into sauce. Better yet, don’t try that. Once I was able to go back inside I had to wash every single blanket, sheet, comforter, pillow etc. in the place. It took weeks of work to get the couch to stop stinking. > > MissTake, I am also glad that you are on status quo. When [Helena330B]\*\* posted that message, I also suddenly started wondering what was happening. I suer hope you get off the transplant list soon. (by getting a transplant!) I’m do glad you brought this up, because it sounds like something I would try. How was the sauce? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/191 "2018-03-14T02:37:04Z")
I’ve successfully avoided helping friends with their smelly hobbies… especially the ones that I might end up getting hooked on. I have a friend whose wife has to leave the house for a weekend when he brews beer (not sure why his is so pungent). MY wife should be grateful that my hobbies are relatively cheap and smell-free (other than the haunting notes of vanillin and new-mown grass that a vintage comic book offers up when it’s opened… and savored). ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/192 "2018-03-14T03:29:26Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Okay, you guys got it worse than me, but… > > I cannot get my glasses adjusted properly! I’ve developed a sore spot behind my right ear where the earpiece is pressing. I took it back to the shop so they could put my glasses in their fancy-schmancy little heater doohickey and do a professional reshaping, but the guy just took them in his hands and twisted them around. Well, hell, I can do that at home! > > So I have been bending the damn things around but my ear is so tender now I near about yelp when I touch it. I need to take some time off from wearing these glasses, but gee, I can’t seem to find a week when I don’t need to freakin’ SEE. I can pretty safely guess what’s going on. There’s cartilage on the back of the ear that will become painfully pretty quickly if the temple touches it at all. Even if you were an experienced optician, it’s nearly impossible to fix the problem for yourself, because you need to be able to actually see where the temple sits behind the ear to fix the problem. The “fancy-schmancy little heater doohickey’s” purpose is to soften plastics enough so they can bend without breaking. It’s only necessary on thicker, more brittle plastics, and has nothing to do with a professional reshaping. In fact, if used with a frame that doesn’t need it it can damage the frame pretty badly. That’s all on the skills of the optician. If you even had a real optician. Most states have no kind of credentialing or licensure to ensure that the person adjusting your specs actually knows how to adjust them. There is a voluntary national certification, ABO ([American Board of Opticianry](https://www.abo-ncle.org/ABO/Consumer/ABO/Consumer/Consumer_Media_Info.aspx?hkey=80b5893a-2268-48b8-b4f6-4c96417e2f38)), and I always recommend making sure the optician is certified before trusting them with your eyewear. (I was a certified optician for 15 years.) ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/193 "2018-03-14T03:38:19Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > I’m do glad you brought this up, because it sounds like something I would try. > > How was the sauce? I don’t know how the sauce was because while I was frantically to do something, anything to stop the mustard gas, it got pitched. It still in the pan ended up getting double bagged and taken to a store dumpster because I didn’t want my garbage picker up guys to go on strike. I really don’t think you would do it because you are a pretty smart person who might look recipes up online, or if using the recipe from an 1861 farmers wife’s cookbook would notice that those folks always rendered their horse radish OUTSIDE! If you do a little more research, you will learn that the horseradish factory workers wear hazmat suits for a very good reason. I’m not sure why your friend’s beer is so pungent, my BB is a brewer and unless you get right up to the bottles there is no odor at all. BB brews DARK beer, maybe your friend brews light beer and puts things like peppers and spices in them? Now, speaking of my BB…he is a suicidal idiot. He thinks its funny to do such things as look in the window while I am taking a shower to scare me. It always works, but seeing as how I am alone most of the times, and know that when seconds matter, the police are only minutes away, the first thing I go for is a gun. Last time he did this, he came home unexpectedly, knocked on the bedroom window waking me up from a dead sleep and got a shotgun pointed at his face. This time, I was in the clear glass shower and he scratched at the clear glass window over the tub. Cue me screaming while I hopped out of the shower and covered the bathroom with water while running to the closet to grab the shotgun. By the time I got back to the window, he was on the ground laughing like a loon. When the bitching commenced, he said he knew he was safe because I was awake and had time to think about what I was doing before I made it back to the window. He knows that I wouldn’t shoot without a clear target and an obvious and immediate threat which also means I would have time to have recognized him. He’s going to get shot some day and it will be all his fault. Is it OK for me to have some of you guys dispositioned by my defense attorney? ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/194 "2018-03-14T03:58:13Z")
Crap. [Stephen Hawking has died.](https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/mar/14/stephen-hawking-professor-dies-aged-76) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/195 "2018-03-14T04:04:24Z")
Speaking for myself, I’m generally of a disposition to do anything you ask (and I think the word you were seeking is _depositioned_ [or _deposed_]). ETA: Normally, I’d be inclined to snap at you for interrupting me, but _Stephen Hawking_? Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/196 "2018-03-14T04:11:18Z")
I really, really hate people who go around being snotty and hateful for no reason, other than they think they are so smart. You can always Google for answers you need quickly, so why do you insist on asking dumb questions and getting pissed when you get answers. Stupid, stupid. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/197 "2018-03-14T08:12:35Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I really, really hate people who go around being snotty and hateful for no reason, other than they think they are so smart. You can always Google for answers you need quickly, so why do you insist on asking dumb questions and getting pissed when you get answers. Stupid, stupid. Not feeling the hate here. There are no dumb questions and being snotty and hateful is tripling and quadrupling down when your answer doesn’t really address the question appropriately. This is why you get pushback from some people. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/198 "2018-03-14T12:21:54Z")
Stench. Hooboy. When my dad’s stepmother died, we all gathered at the house. My dad and one uncle went into the basement, just to see what all was down there. It had a dirt floor that she had buried crocks into. Filled with sauerkraut. That she had made at least 10 years prior. My dad opened one. Cleared the house in NO time flat. My dad had to take multiple showers to rid himself of the stank. It was very difficult to sell the house, suffice it to say. A few years ago, my mom asked me to make sauerkraut pieroghis. I opened the just bought at the deli sauerkraut and…nope. I still cannot handle the smell at all. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/199 "2018-03-14T12:23:21Z")
Thanks, **Doug K.** This past weekend my glasses pained me so much I decided to take the earpiece off and replace it with the one from my old pair of comfortable glasses (same frame). Well, that was a huge mistake. I worked on those glasses for about an hour, then my husband took a turn, but we could not get that wee screw back in the wee hole. Eventually we had to go to Lenscrafters. The customer service lady (probably not a real optician) put the glasses back together in about two minutes. By then they looked like they’d been run over by a car, so she had to stick them in the heater and wrestle them into submission. They still hurt a bit, but I think there’s been improvement, and anyway, I’m just so grateful to have them back in one piece, I’ll try to cope better! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2018, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819/200 "2018-03-14T13:14:58Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Not feeling the hate here. There are no dumb questions and being snotty and hateful is tripling and quadrupling down when your answer doesn’t really address the question appropriately. This is why you get pushback from some people. I left the thread, it’s all over. I won’t bother that OP again. I was making a kind suggestion. I bowed down when he suggested he didn’t want that song. Other people became snotty. I defended my choice in a friendly way. I came to the pit and ranted. If you Google ‘American Pie’ it comes up as a patriotic song. My suggestion is valid. But to each his own. I don’t care what songs the OP uses. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-march-minirants/809819.md?page=11)