# Fuck off, neighborhood busybody **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 31, 2013, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974 "2013-07-31T04:50:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/41 "2013-08-02T03:40:24Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Why does your personal happiness depend on making everyone on your block conform to your personal preferences? When it affects the rest of us? Yeah, I do. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/42 "2013-08-02T11:12:57Z")
It affects you only because you choose to be affected. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/43 "2013-08-02T11:59:23Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > It affects you only because you choose to be affected. It’s the affect effect. And it’s infectious. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/44 "2013-08-02T14:45:08Z")
Ah, feck it. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/45 "2013-08-02T14:51:14Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > It affects you only because you choose to be affected. Oh, I don’t know about that. I’m pretty sure the contractor trying to sell the newly constructed house behind me would prefer that my place doesn’t look like a shithole\*, but that’s their tough luck, isn’t it\*\*? I mean, how could the fact that 85% of my 1.5-acre property is in dirt and dead weeds be hurting the price they might get for that house? Surely the potential buyers can divine whether or not I plan to get my property into shape eventually. I suppose potential buyers could come over and ask me why my property looks crappy and if I plan to improve it. Or if they can count on me for all their future dandelion, morning glory, and thistle needs. They should probably count on the latter at this stage in the game, to protect themselves from future disappointment\*\*\*. I think my crappy-looking property might negatively impact the sale. I think another neighbor’s wood fencing might positively impact the sale. At the same time, I think that buyers should consider the neighborhood’s agriculture nature and not be expecting to have a weed-free yard. I certainly thought of those things when I bought this place. Every area is different. If all the yards are nice except the one across the street from you, it can be really annoying. If you just built a $300-500k home in a neighborhood of manufactured housing/old farmworker houses, then I think you should suck it up and not complain when things aren’t perfect (my neighborhood represent!). If there are HOAs, covenants, or bylaws, may you enjoy living under and complying with what you sign up for. In other news, I used to be married to a neighborhood busybody. That is a terrible position to be in if you are unobservant or don’t give a shit about what your neighbors are doing. The things he would try to get me excited about were petty, stupid, and seemingly endless. It gets really old listening to someone complain about the neighbors when you simply do not notice or care that they have not mowed their lawn, pulled the weeds, swept the sidewalk. That’s part of why I moved here, where it at least appears nobody cared about that stuff. There may have been a point in my post, but I got distracted and am no longer sure. Hitting submit anyway… \*It looks better than when I moved here in some ways, but I went without irrigation for 3 fucking years in a long story that nobody wants to hear. The contractor knows the story and probably tells potential buyers that I am a very nice person that is going to make my place look fantastic now that I have water. We’ll see how that goes! \*\*I actually feel bad that they are trying to sell while my place looks so shabby, but it looked shabby when they started, so they knew what they were getting into. \*\*\*I have plans, but lack funding. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/46 "2013-08-02T15:55:31Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I don’t blame the tenants for not looking after the places they rent; I blame the landlords. They don’t live here, so they don’t care if they look after the properties properly or not. This might not be universal, but it’s pretty universal where I live - nice yard, nice yard, nice yard, shithole because it’s a rental, nice yard, nice yard. > > This might be a little bit of a hot-button issue with me. 🙂 We rent because we can’t afford a mortgage, and don’t qualify for a home loan due to revolving student loan debt. Lawn maintenance is the farthest thing from our minds when we are paying for child care, food, gas, rent, etc. Luckily we have a few entrepreneurial teenagers in our neighborhood who will mow your lawn for $20 bucks when my husband can’t get to it since he is pulling long hours in pharmacy school and hospital rotations. But the weed trimming and landscaping can go to shit, I am not paying for that. That is my property manager’s job, and if they don’t care I don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/47 "2013-08-02T16:05:44Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > When it affects the rest of us? Yeah, I do. But what kind of “shitty yard” are we talking about, here? A yard with big bare patches and grass/weeds over a foot tall with a rusted out car on cinder blocks is not the same as a yard that has untreated dandelions or a front yard used as a food garden. But I’ve heard rants about yards of the dandelion/garden type that, by their level of vehemence, you’d think were talking about the cinder block car lawn. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/48 "2013-08-02T16:40:44Z")
They said the ivy is growing over the _sidewalk_. > [@Acsenray](#): > > It affects you only because you choose to be affected. So if I want to take a walk, but I can’t because my neighbors let their goddamn plants grow all over the sidewalk, making it near impossible to get by? If someone wants to push a stroller, but can’t, they’re “choosing” to be affected"? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/49 "2013-08-02T16:54:53Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > They said the ivy is growing over the _sidewalk_. > > So if I want to take a walk, but I can’t because my neighbors let their goddamn plants grow all over the sidewalk, making it near impossible to get by? If someone wants to push a stroller, but can’t, they’re “choosing” to be affected"? :dubious: Shhh Guin, you’re going to harsh his buzz. ---
**Author:** ![Phedre\_no\_Delaunay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/839c29/32.png) [@Phedre\_no\_Delaunay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phedre_no_Delaunay)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/50 "2013-08-02T18:43:38Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Keeping the sidewalk clear might be our/my responsibility but I HATE neighbors who do these passive aggressive sort of swipes. Call the city over it? Did it occur to you to knock on the door first, or leave a note? “Hi, just wanted to let you know the sidewalk is really blocked and nobody can get by”? Nope, we’re going right to calling the city. Yeah, but you do this and the next thing you know these assholes who won’t keep up their yard are slashing your tires or egging your house/car. It’s a no-win situation when you go to the neighbor. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/51 "2013-08-02T19:06:48Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > The biggest eyesores in my neighbourhood from people who aren’t keeping their property up to neighbourhood standards are the renters. If the homeowner doesn’t live there, they really don’t seem to care much if the grass is mowed regularly or the dandelions are kept under control . And why on Earth should anybody care about whether someone else’s grass is mowed, or dandelions growing on his property, or dead leaves left on the lawn and so on? That’s not something new, but for people who are so fond of private property, American people, from reading this board, seem to have an incredible sense of entitlement regarding other people’s yards. The only acceptable concerns I’ve read in this thread, for instance, are roaming pets and sidewalks. But a neighbour thinking that he has a say in what grows or does not grow in my yard would be invited to mind his own business. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/52 "2013-08-02T21:08:08Z")
In the US we are definitely spoiled for choice when it comes to buying and selling real estate. Enough so where the conditions of a neighbor’s exterior can have a direct fiduciary effect on one’s own home. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2013, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/53 "2013-08-02T22:26:02Z")
Like **stretch** said, it makes sense for folks to assess the “standard” of lawn care in the neighborhood before buying. I know my lazy ass can only do the bare minimum. I rent my house, but I’m responsible for lawn care. All of my neighbors are renters. Little rinky-dinky bungalows overlooking the expressway. A weedy lawn is no big deal here. But it would be crazy of me to expect to take my lazy ways to a nicer neighborhood and not expect an evil eye or two. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/54 "2013-08-03T00:15:09Z")
Unkept lawns and overgrown bushes like the one the OP describes can also attract vermin. (Snakes, for one thing, tend to prefer tall grass) Clear your sidewalk. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/55 "2013-08-03T04:27:22Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > They said the ivy is growing over the _sidewalk_. I’m 100% in agreement with you on this. When something in/on your private yard encroaches onto public/publicly-used space (like sidewalks), you get that shit removed ASAP. Around here it’s not ivy but overgrown hedges (often separated from the sidewalk by a chain link fence … That the shrub is growing through. :smack: ) or really low-hanging tree branches (sometimes below crouching level). But I was thinking more of non-obstruction issues, like **Cat Whisperer** mentioned: > [@](#): > > I know the landlord across the street from me will get to the dandelion explosion _eventually_ - but not until my yard has been thoroughly seeded with their dandelion fluff. I spend hours every summer pulling out dandelions because that landlord is negligent, and I don’t much care for it It seems a bit over the top to call the landlord _negligent_ over dandelions. There are people (including me) who actually _like_ dandelions. I think they’re pretty (even the leaves) and more importantly, they’re an important food source for honeybees after winter. I like dandelions and creeping charley and wild violets and clover and queen Anne’s lace and so on. I know that goes against general American (and Canadian :)) attitudes about lawns, but oh well. Yard things that actually impact others are not the same as differences of aesthetic preferences. I’m with **clairobscur**. ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/56 "2013-08-03T12:10:40Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > And why on Earth should anybody care about whether someone else’s grass is mowed, or dandelions growing on his property, or dead leaves left on the lawn and so on? > [@zweisamkeit](#): > > It seems a bit over the top to call the landlord _negligent_ over dandelions. There are people (including me) who actually _like_ dandelions. I think they’re pretty (even the leaves) and more importantly, they’re an important food source for honeybees after winter. > > I like dandelions and creeping charley and wild violets and clover and queen Anne’s lace and so on. I know that goes against general American (and Canadian :)) attitudes about lawns, but oh well. Yard things that actually impact others are not the same as > differences of aesthetic preferences. I’m with **clairobscur**. Agreed. I like longer grass, wild flowers and the like. I’m happy to know I have all kind of creatures taking advantage of it all. What’s the point of a sterile, bland lawn? I might get some satisfaction out of the tidiness, but no real _happiness_. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2013, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/57 "2013-08-03T14:03:38Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > They said the ivy is growing over the _sidewalk_. > > So if I want to take a walk, but I can’t because my neighbors let their goddamn plants grow all over the sidewalk, making it near impossible to get by? If someone wants to push a stroller, but can’t, they’re “choosing” to be affected"? :dubious: My comment came when the conversation had clearly moved beyond just “ivy blocking the sidewalk.” Dandelions, and “shithole because it’s a rental” are among the other things. ---
**Author:** ![russian\_heel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/58 "2013-08-04T02:18:27Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > Wait. > > So, you have a sidewalk which you are supposed to clear, but you’ve allowed it to be blocked by ivy for a substantial amount of time. Then you finally manage to pay someone to do this little job (which refutes your argument that you were “too busy”) and during this process the neighbor casually and jokingly tells your landscaper she’s glad she sidewalk is going to be clear. Let me ask you a question, toots. How long does it take to call a landscaper and send them a check? I don’t quite get what I am refuting or what your stupid point is. > [@](#): > > Note: She never called the city. She never complained to you. > > And for this, you say she’s a busybody bitch and you pit her? The fact this biddie opened her pie hole and had to say ANYTHING to my landscaper means she’s been talking behind my back to complete strangers in the neighborhood. > [@](#): > > Someone in this story is an asshole. Someone in this story is WAY too concerned abut what their neighbor is up to. But that someone isn’t your neighbor-- it’s you. That’s MISTER Asshole to you, Miss. Respect your elders. > [@](#): > > And, side note, you call her out for having a nice yard she maintains because it’s smaller than yours? What is your fucking problem?? She was smart enough to buy property she can maintain, and you aren’t. How is that _her_ problem? No no no I said her property was OK just not so eyepoppingly beautiful she has any place to criticize her neighbors. You seem to know a lot about how a homeowner should conduct themselves so I assume you are a homeowner? ---
**Author:** ![russian\_heel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/59 "2013-08-04T02:21:19Z")
> [@glee](#): > > +1 1 idiot + 1 idiot=2 idiots ---
**Author:** ![russian\_heel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974/60 "2013-08-04T02:25:16Z")
BTW for all you armchair psychologists who think they know me I would NEVER personally attack this woman if she said something about the ivy to her face. I’m too much of a gentleman. Instead Id thank her and have the situation corrected. Then Id probably put her here but isn’t that part of the fun here–you get off your cheats things you’d like to say to someone anonymously. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-neighborhood-busybody/664974.md?page=4)