# Fuck off Piers Morgan **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 16, 2018, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061 "2018-10-16T21:18:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/21 "2018-10-17T07:36:34Z")
On the other hand he faced down an over from Brett Lee… ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/22 "2018-10-17T11:50:30Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > Piers Morgan’s existence has caused **Aspidistra** to call him a “plonker,” which has introduced a new word to my vocabulary. Surely that’s a good thing. The origin of [plonker](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahcuPHVz6aM). The sitcom _Only Fools And Horses_. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/23 "2018-10-17T12:13:19Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > and a wanker, a gobshite an imbecile, a schmuck, a douchebag, a chav, a pikey, an arsemonger, a fuckstick, an arschgeige, a flachwichser, and a walking ass with ears. A beef-witted, tickle-brained, logger-headed pampillon. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/24 "2018-10-17T12:51:18Z")
And a starveling, eel-skin, dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, stock-fish, tailor’s-yard, sheath, bow-case, and a vile standing tuck. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/25 "2018-10-17T13:10:28Z")
A bawbag, a numpty, a heid-the-ba’, a bampot, a dobber, a walloper and all-round tube of a man. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_McQwark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Steve\_McQwark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_McQwark)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/26 "2018-10-17T13:28:00Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > A bawbag, a numpty, a heid-the-ba’, a bampot, a dobber, a walloper and all-round tube of a man. I’m sorry, but I must object to this. I know all the name-calling is being done in fun but calling Piers Morgan a man is completely inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/27 "2018-10-17T13:32:58Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > Stephen Fry memorably defined “countryside” as “the act of murdering Piers Morgan” > > He is a hateful piece of shit with no redeeming features and the worst crime is that he appears to have zero self-awareness regarding his own character. So he’s the perfect TV host for the Trump/Brexit era. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/28 "2018-10-17T14:36:36Z")
XD This thread is so educational!! ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/29 "2018-10-17T14:44:32Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > A bawbag, a numpty, a heid-the-ba’, a bampot, a dobber, a walloper and all-round tube of a man. A shilpit wee nyaff and a glaikit sumph. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/30 "2018-10-17T15:39:08Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > So he’s the perfect TV host for the Trump/Brexit era. He’s a host that nicely \*exemplifies \*it, but he’s not the host that the situation calls for. To be honest, I’m struggling to think of any problem to which the best solution is “Piers Morgan” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/31 "2018-10-17T16:00:23Z")
He’s the only man who could be punched by Jeremy Clarkson (another Englishman who is not beloved by many) and everybody cheered for Clarkson. And to borrow (as others have) from the Master of English insults: > [@](#): > > “Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee." > > “More of your conversation would infect my brain.” > > “Poisonous bunch-backed toad! “ > > “The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.” > > “That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?” Old Will knew how to do it… ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/32 "2018-10-17T16:00:27Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > To be honest, I’m struggling to think of any problem to which the best solution is “Piers Morgan” Reasons for bringing back the rope? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/33 "2018-10-17T16:06:34Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > To be honest, I’m struggling to think of any problem to which the best solution is “Piers Morgan” The classic hole in the dike situation. The hole is not the size of a little boy’s finger, but Piers Morgan sized. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/34 "2018-10-17T16:28:27Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > Poor dude totally has that add-another-thirty-to-your-age not-sure-on-the-concept-of-sleep glazed-eye new parent look about him doesn’t he? Lol. Wouldnt be surprised if he’s wearing the baby because that’s the only way they can keep it from crying. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/35 "2018-10-17T18:06:28Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Reasons for bringing back the rope? hmmmm, I wasn’t really laying down a challenge but people seem eager to offer suggestions. OK then, when faced with the classic moral thought experiment where you have to push a fat man onto the tracks to save a group of workers, the correct answer must be “if the fat man is Piers Morgan then yep, I’ll do it” Though that still gives him some nobility in death that he probably doesn’t deserve. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/36 "2018-10-17T19:33:02Z")
There is a honorable tradition of sacrificing the annoying and superfluous for the greater good, and then praising the subject for the sake of a long-suffering family. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/37 "2018-10-17T20:38:03Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > A shilpit wee nyaff and a glaikit sumph. Glaikit is a word that should have wider currency. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/38 "2018-10-17T21:26:15Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > So **Quartz** , is this kerfuffle over the alleged “unmanliness” of a man who plays an action hero carrying his own child in a baby sling helping you a bit to understand what [toxic masculinity](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21254827&postcount=101) is, and why it is a problem in society? I hope he answers this question. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/39 "2018-10-17T21:49:25Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Jeeze, I already knew Rachel Weisz was the most “hated”/envied woman in the UK. Now this? What can a mere mortal woman do to keep up? I’m a straight male and I loves me some Rachel Weisz, first thing I thought when I heard she was marrying Craig was, “they are going to make the universes most beautiful human!” ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061/40 "2018-10-17T21:55:47Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > Glaikit is a word that should have wider currency. Got it from one of George Macdonald Fraser’s “McAuslan” stories. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-off-piers-morgan/823061.md?page=3)