# Fuck people who call people "mouth-breathers"

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [December 21, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916 "2011-12-21T03:25:22Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/21 "2011-12-21T14:15:01Z")

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> [@bucketybuck](#):
>
> This reminds me of that time I was in Portugal, and I walked by a strange man sitting by the side of the street. What was strange about this (strange being how we described these things in those days) was that he had a really strange looking right hand, all lumpy and deformed, which may have been the style at the time. I meant to enquire as to this but was distracted by the sight of Johnny Knoxville walking past me, heading northbound towards the city centre, which is what we called the middle of the city in those days.

Were you wearing an onion on your belt?

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**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/22 "2011-12-21T14:15:04Z")

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> [@Cartooniverse](#):
>
> Is there some reason why people who have trouble breathing through their noses are derided as lesser than those who can breathe through their noses?

Could be worse. Think of the poor knuckle-draggers.

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/23 "2011-12-21T14:19:12Z")

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Okay I have to admit it was a half-hearted rant. No, I’ve not tried Mucinex. But OTC Claritin is my pal. 🙂

Great posts however. I’ve got band-aids on my knuckles.

😃

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**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/24 "2011-12-21T14:35:24Z")

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> [@bucketybuck](#):
>
> This reminds me of that time I was in Portugal, and I walked by a strange man sitting by the side of the street. What was strange about this (strange being how we described these things in those days) was that he had a really strange looking right hand, all lumpy and deformed, which may have been the style at the time. I meant to enquire as to this but was distracted by the sight of Johnny Knoxville walking past me, heading northbound towards the city centre, which is what we called the middle of the city in those days.

Well done sir 🙂

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**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/25 "2011-12-21T14:51:57Z")

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> [@Fear\_Itself](#):
>
> Could be worse. Think of the poor knuckle-draggers.

Whoa! I was going to bring up the knuckle-dragging but it looks like you beat me to it. I assumed you didn’t also have this habit, but since you do- congratulations, you’re a neanderthal!

Anyway, it’s always been a figure of speech for me. Mouth-breathing knuckle-dragger is something you might fling at Rick Santorum when he says something outrageous. I honestly can’t say I’ve thought badly of a literal mouth-breather. Just do not call me and then do nothing.but.breathe. Okay?

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**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/26 "2011-12-21T15:37:35Z")

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Have all you mouth breathers tried the [neti pot?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=450165)

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**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/27 "2011-12-21T15:58:17Z")

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> [@Maastricht](#):
>
> Have all you mouth breathers tried the [neti pot?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=450165)

Are you trying to kill us all with [brain-eating amoebas](http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/12/19/143960631/second-neti-pot-death-from-amoeba-prompts-tap-water-warning)?

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**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/28 "2011-12-21T16:08:48Z")

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> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> Are you trying to kill us all with [brain-eating amoebas](http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/12/19/143960631/second-neti-pot-death-from-amoeba-prompts-tap-water-warning)?

:eek:

i did not know

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**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/29 "2011-12-21T16:38:45Z")

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> [@Kobal2](#):
>
> St. Augustine, a serious brainiac in his time, had trouble with that one (and was very impressed that St. Ambrose could read in complete silence and without mouthing the words to himself) 😛

Reading was also a lot harder then. Among other reasons, we have punctuation and gaps between words. Reading a stream of undifferentiated letters is quite difficult even when you know the language really well. Reading, or at least mouthing the text helps to make it clear where the gaps between words are.

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**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/30 "2011-12-21T17:19:43Z")

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> [@Rhythmdvl](#):
>
> Were you wearing an onion on your belt?

A yellow onion?

Why, you whippersnappers are reminding me of the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville (which was what we called Portugal at the time). I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Portugal, which is what we called Shelbyville in those days, or maybe vicey-versy. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…

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**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/31 "2011-12-21T17:54:50Z")

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Tie a yellow onion 'round the old oak tree . . .

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/32 "2011-12-21T18:27:26Z")

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> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> Are you trying to kill us all with [brain-eating amoebas](http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/12/19/143960631/second-neti-pot-death-from-amoeba-prompts-tap-water-warning)?

I am. Damn media is on to me.  
Bastards, always trying to do away with my cuddly little brain-eating amoebas…

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/33 "2011-12-21T18:31:13Z")

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That woulda been the old Tarifa to Eddalya Ferry? Peaches Neidermann and her late husband run that ferry line. They took it over from Adolph and Heda Neidermann who first ran it before the war. Not that pussyfoot thing they’re running over in Beirut but the Real Deal pal, let me just tell you something. That onions gag? Heda had sinus problems. She was a dear woman, build like a '27 Opal but her nose ran like the Rhine in March. She claimed that it was better to switch than fight and that the onion she kept in a finely wrought silver chain mail pouch nestled against her generous bosom helped to keep things draining and clear up top. Who were we to question? Na’ama and I went to work for the Neidermanns in 1968 and they’re like family to us.  
I’m sorry, what did you ask about the ferry ?

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**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/34 "2011-12-21T19:08:22Z")

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> [@Maeglin](#):
>
> Reading was also a lot harder then. Among other reasons, we have punctuation and gaps between words. Reading a stream of undifferentiated letters is quite difficult even when you know the language really well. Reading, or at least mouthing the text helps to make it clear where the gaps between words are.

Another invention that made reading easier: Upper & lower case. A concept ignored by trolls…

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/35 "2011-12-21T19:12:02Z")

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WhAt if They weRe GerMaNic TroLLs?

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**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/36 "2011-12-21T19:41:09Z")

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How do you feel about Egyptian mouth-breeders?

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**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/37 "2011-12-21T20:07:55Z")

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Quality joke pitting. 9/10.

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**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/38 "2011-12-21T20:36:19Z")

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> [@BrainGlutton](#):
>
> How do you feel about Egyptian mouth-breeders?

Fnord.

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**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/39 "2011-12-21T23:11:48Z")

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> [@bucketybuck](#):
>
> This reminds me of that time I was in Portugal, and I walked by a strange man sitting by the side of the street. What was strange about this (strange being how we described these things in those days) was that he had a really strange looking right hand, all lumpy and deformed, which may have been the style at the time. I meant to enquire as to this but was distracted by the sight of Johnny Knoxville walking past me, heading northbound towards the city centre, which is what we called the middle of the city in those days.

Hey! _ **HEY!** _  
Could you put some damn clothes on _ **before** _ you tell us this story, _ **AGAIN?!** _ 😛

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-people-who-call-people-mouth-breathers/606916/40 "2011-12-21T23:28:51Z")

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> [@Maastricht](#):
>
> Have all you mouth breathers tried the [neti pot?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=450165)

> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> Are you trying to kill us all with [brain-eating amoebas](http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/12/19/143960631/second-neti-pot-death-from-amoeba-prompts-tap-water-warning)?

> [@Sattua](#):
>
> :eek:
> 
> i did not know

Nor did _ **I** _!  
The SDMB has just (possibly) saved my life!  
Someone I know (who will remain nameless, though I will henceforth, look at them in a different way) had almost convinced me to try using one of those. :eek:  
After clicking on the link, I think I’ll have to say, “Thanks but, _ **no-fucking-way!** _” I mean, “No, thank you.”

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