I don’t think that in most cases you’re forced to make a choice between the prototypical nice, caring physician and the highly talented jerk. You might put up with the jerk in an extreme situation (for instance, a neurosurgeon who’s pioneered a treatment for a serious problem) but increasingly, it’s not a choice that must be made. Jerkdom is a kiss of death in primary care and even in fields where human to human skills are less imperative, it’s a handicap that can also cause you to be sued more frequently.
Some people get upset enough about brusqueness and annoying personalities among physicians that they gravitate towards “alternative” practitioners, who have learned that spending lots of time with patients and exhibiting a super-caring attitude helps in exploiting the marks, er, in achieving patient satisfaction. In that one sphere, mainstream docs can perhaps learn from the quacks.
Advice for the OP - if pre-med behavior is annoying you that much (and some of these panicky, driven types can be plenty annoying), avoid them. Hang out with the non-obsessed science majors.
I guarantee you that all of the grade-grubbers you despise will be repeating these buzzwords/phrases at their med school interviews.
Have you ever read Sinclair Lewis’ Arrowsmith (it’s about the trials and tribulations of an aspiring physician, set in the Midwest in the early 1900s)? You might find a kindred spirit.