# Fuck Spanx! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 6, 2008, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395 "2008-11-06T01:51:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/61 "2008-11-07T21:29:08Z")
They can call it whatever they want, but they don’t fool me: they’re modern day girdles. I’ll take my rolls, thankyouverymuch. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/62 "2008-11-07T23:55:13Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > They can call it whatever they want, but they don’t fool me: they’re modern day girdles. I’ll take my rolls, thankyouverymuch. Hell yeah, they’re girdles. But you can’t take mine away! I’d rather my rolls be nicely tucked in if I have a thin/fine fabric skimming my body. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/63 "2008-11-08T05:04:24Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > They can call it whatever they want, but they don’t fool me: they’re modern day girdles. I’ll take my rolls, thankyouverymuch. Word. A girl at work wears them and I can tell when she has it on because her big ol’ round, beautiful ass is smushed all flat. Yuck. ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/64 "2008-11-08T11:54:43Z")
I lost 152 via gastric bypass surgery, and have not yet been able to have the necessary reconstructive surgery (hey - saving $30K - it’s taking longer than I thought!) I _love_ Spanx. I only wear the “Higher Power” model (comes right under your boobs down to your lower thighs. They would hold back the Hoover Dam. I have _never_ used the “pee hole” - ever. Maybe I’m just used to maneuvering them, but I just pull the damned thing down, do my business and pull it back up again. As far as sizing - for a while, I fell between a C and a B. Too small for the C to really be effective, and too big to quite fit in the B. Soo…I put on the C and _then_ the B, and voila - I hit pay dirt. 😃 Now I’m a B, and that’s what I buy. Spanx has a lower price point line called “Assets” - you can get them at Target, I think. VCNJ~ ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/65 "2008-11-08T13:53:07Z")
> [@VeuveClicquotNJ](#): > > As far as sizing - for a while, I fell between a C and a B. Too small for the C to really be effective, and too big to quite fit in the B. Soo…I put on the C and _then_ the B, and voila - I hit pay dirt. Merciful heavens, are you telling us that you used to voluntarily wear two Spanx undergarments simultaneously? I’ve never tried them myself, but they sound like something that Homeland Security could use for forceful interrogation or whatever they’re calling it nowadays. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/66 "2008-11-08T13:56:32Z")
**Vueve** I am so proud of you for your weight loss! ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/67 "2008-11-08T14:20:01Z")
You know, it’s threads like this that make me really, really appreciate my Y chromosome. ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/68 "2008-11-08T17:58:44Z")
Like my Spanx and I am a big girl. They feel much like control top pantyhose. Frankly I got them to wear under a skirt when I am dancing and I kow several other women who got them for the same thing. They are less bulky than shorts, have more coverage than regular panties and less coverage than pantyhose. I just wish they came in some sort of wicking fabric cause dancing is sweaty work. ---
**Author:** ![InterestedObserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@InterestedObserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InterestedObserver)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/69 "2008-11-08T18:49:12Z")
Never tried them myself, and, after reading this, won’t be anytime soon. (you had me at $28, lol!) When I want/need a bit of smoothing, or even just some insurance against gusts of wind up a shorter skirt, I wear bike shorts ( I’ve got several, from short to knee-length). They are spandex-like material and very comfortable. Bottom line (no pun intended), NO sort of undergarment is going to render 30 or 40 extra lbs of fat into a Kate Moss silhouette. These things are probably great for those with a little bit of untoned flab, but it’s false advertising for them to be marketed to those who are looking for much more than smoothing and light control. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/70 "2008-11-08T19:52:02Z")
> [@InterestedObserver](#): > > Bottom line (no pun intended), NO sort of undergarment is going to render 30 or 40 extra lbs of fat into a Kate Moss silhouette. These things are probably great for those with a little bit of untoned flab, but it’s false advertising for them to be marketed to those who are looking for much more than smoothing and light control. They don’t claim that. They specifically describe their product as a “smoother.” Its not their fault if people wish for miracles. See e.g., [SPANX | Shapewear, Leggings, Jeans, Bras & Bodysuits](http://www.spanx.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2990096&cp=2992553.3010055&parentPage=family) ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/71 "2008-11-08T20:25:40Z")
I wasn’t looking to be Kate Moss, just less cellulite-y. I would rather duct tape myself into my clothes than wear those stupid Spanx again though. ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/72 "2008-11-08T20:34:02Z")
Thanks, Shirley - I feel great! VCNJ~ > [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > **Vueve** I am so proud of you for your weight loss! ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/73 "2008-11-08T20:39:17Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > Like my Spanx and I am a big girl. They feel much like control top pantyhose. Frankly I got them to wear under a skirt when I am dancing and I kow several other women who got them for the same thing. They are less bulky than shorts, have more coverage than regular panties and less coverage than pantyhose. I just wish they came in some sort of wicking fabric cause dancing is sweaty work. NOT wicking? breathability of the fabric is important in underwear eh? so is that what the slit is really for, air circulation? I mean how much does the open hole stretch when you have to pee? Come the christmas party I will be in shapewear you betcha!😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/74 "2008-11-08T21:03:31Z")
> [@robertliguori](#): > > You know, it’s threads like this that make me really, really appreciate my Y chromosome. Yeah, well, our weiners never touch the inside of toilets. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Proudest\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/proudest_monkey/32/13257_2.png) [@Proudest\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Proudest_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/75 "2008-11-08T21:35:06Z")
My daughter’s maid of honor, Molly, bought Spanx to wear for the wedding. While prepping and primping in our little bride’s hideaway house, we heard her bellow from the bathroom. “FUCK SPANX!” When I read the thread title, I thought, “Molly? Is that you? Are you a doper?” She couldn’t get them on by herself, and the throng of ladies in the lovely little hideaway house fared no better in helping her. I think those Spanx ended up in the trash can. Guess she should have sized up, and perhaps given them a trial fitting before the wedding day. No matter, she looked lovely. I’d try Spanx myself except a. I think they’d roll down at the top or up at the bottom and b. I am the tightest tightwad ever \* That’s my only Spanx encounter, and I never thought to look for a pee hole! \*except when it comes to shoes which never roll down or up ---
**Author:** ![laughingboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@laughingboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laughingboy)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/76 "2008-11-08T21:45:58Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > The reason panties are a necessity is you never know when you are going to have a gust of wind blow your skirt over your head or split the seam in the back of your pants or whatever. Another data point in support of a biological phenomenon that has puzzled scientists for generations. No female in the history of human civilization has ever had skidmarked underwear. Also, they don’t fart. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2008, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/77 "2008-11-09T03:25:19Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > I am really surprised that there are only 3 other fucktitled threads in the pit right now Folks, we’ve got ourselves a new verb. **fucktitle** , _v.t._ To compose a title or heading of a document using profane or obscene language, in order to express one’s point as strongly as possible and/or attract the reader’s attention as quickly as possible. “Don’t bother sending polite emails to the helpdesk for tech support, they only read the fucktitled ones.” ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2008, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/78 "2008-11-09T11:46:57Z")
🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2008, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/79 "2008-11-09T22:24:30Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Folks, we’ve got ourselves a new verb. > > **fucktitle** , _v.t._ To compose a title or heading of a document using profane or obscene language, in order to express one’s point as strongly as possible and/or attract the reader’s attention as quickly as possible. > > “Don’t bother sending polite emails to the helpdesk for tech support, they only read the fucktitled ones.” You know, it takes very little squinting to read that as “they only read the fucktittied ones.” ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395/80 "2008-11-09T23:08:36Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > You know, it takes very little squinting to read that as “they only read the fucktittied ones.” That would certainly explain a lot about our tech support people. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-spanx/471395.md?page=5)