# fuck the gloved one **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 26, 2009, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008 "2009-06-26T00:39:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/121 "2009-06-26T22:01:15Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Why did that first kid (the one he paid off) know what his cock looked like? Haven’t most kids seen Spielberg’s _ET_? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/122 "2009-06-26T22:03:18Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > I’m sorry, Michael Jackson made some good toons No, he [didn’t](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/18/Jackson-5-cartoon.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/123 "2009-06-26T22:20:25Z")
> [@SuntanTigerTamer](#): > > If someone says you fuck kids, you will always be known as a kid fucker. Heh. “…but you fuck _one_ goat…” ---
**Author:** ![SuntanTigerTamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@SuntanTigerTamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanTigerTamer)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/124 "2009-06-26T23:13:53Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Would you have been willing to let your own kid sleep with him? This is the most ridiculous point yet. Who would you let your kids sleep with? Are all the people that you would say “no” to pedophiles? Do you see the faulty logic here? ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2009, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/125 "2009-06-26T23:50:02Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > I was thinking it was more along the lines of: > > - Mmph mm mmph, mmphmph mpmphmm mmpph? > - Huh? > - Mmph mm mmph, mmphmph mpmphmm mmpph? > - What! > - I said, did you hear Princess Diana died? It was more like “uh uh uh uh uh splort splort ahhh - Jesus, woman, how do you expect to have an informed opinion if you don’t pay attention to the issues?” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/126 "2009-06-27T00:21:24Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Jeff Smith, the [“Frugal Gourmet”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Smith_(TV_personality)): He was guilty too. Payement is an admission of guilt, just like I said. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/127 "2009-06-27T00:23:09Z")
> [@SuntanTigerTamer](#): > > Wow. > > I have enjoyed reading and agreed with 99% of your posts on this board, but this is ridiculous. What I would do in no way effects or is representative of what someone else would do. Billionaire Michael Jackson had a very different life than yours truly. > > You know this. You wouldn’t let anyone else make an argument like this with you and get away with it… The point was not that you won’t do it, therefore MJ won’t do it. What I was attempting to do was illustrate that NOBODY would be willing to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/128 "2009-06-27T00:25:30Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > He was guilty too. Payement is an admission of guilt, just like I said. Not in the eyes of the law. ETA: How do you know he was guilty? Because he settled? That’s ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/129 "2009-06-27T00:25:56Z")
> [@SuntanTigerTamer](#): > > This is the most ridiculous point yet. Who would you let your kids sleep with? Are all the people that you would say “no” to pedophiles? Do you see the faulty logic here? Think about it a little further. What normal person would ASK? Wouldn’t you be skeeved by the mere request? Can you name a single other adult you’ve ever heard of who routinely sleeps _Innocently_ with other people’s kids? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/130 "2009-06-27T00:26:59Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Not in the eyes of the law. So? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/131 "2009-06-27T00:28:59Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > So? So you have no idea if he is guilty or not. Concluding guilt because he settled is mere opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/132 "2009-06-27T00:34:33Z")
It’s pretty obvious he was guilty. You don’t pay people off for stuff like that if you didn’t do it. ETA yes, of course it’s my opinion, so what? I’m totally right. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/133 "2009-06-27T00:36:56Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The testimony of the kids. > The fact that he routinely slept with them by his own admission. > The fact that the police found naked pictures of kids when they searched his ranch. > The fact that he never had any sexual interest in adults. > The fact that he fit the psychological profile of a pedophile to the letter > The fact that some of the jurors who acquitted him now say they believe their verdict was a mistake. > The fact that he tried to commit suicide when the allegations first got made public. Innocent people don’t do that. Innocent people get pissed off. Innocent people sure as hell do not pay tens of millions of dollars to someone who is accusing them of something so vile, and so publicly damaging. > > The odds that everything was all just some kind of Three’s Company misunderstanding, and he was totally innocent of everything with no sexual interest in those kids whatsoever are so far-fetched that Occam’s razor only leaves on truly plausible conclusion. This is completely Devil’s Advocate (I believe Jackson was a pedophile): Innocent people have been a[ccused of, convicted of, and done time in prison for child molestation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kern_County_child_abuse_cases). There was a series of false accusations aided by poorly trained social workers who asked children leading questions and browbeat them into changing their story from “nothing happened” to fantastical ones of rape, satanic rituals and murder. On the other hand, the stuff Jackson was accused of were long after the [McMartin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McMartin_preschool) and Kern County cases and after social workers and police were properly trained. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/134 "2009-06-27T00:37:00Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > It’s pretty obvious he was guilty. You don’t pay people off for stuff like that if you didn’t do it. Why not? Many times, it is cheaper. ETA: In my opinion, you are totally wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/135 "2009-06-27T00:40:13Z")
It would not have cost Michael Jackson $20 million to defend himself in a criminal trial, but it’s not about saving money anyway. If you’re innocent of something like that, you defend yourself to your dying breath. How did that kid know what his cock looked like? Why was the LAPD convinced he was guilty? ---
**Author:** ![SuntanTigerTamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@SuntanTigerTamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanTigerTamer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/136 "2009-06-27T00:42:01Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Why not? Many times, it is cheaper. > > ETA: In my opinion, you are totally wrong. I agree with Fear. It seems odd that you are so convinced by such scant evidence. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/137 "2009-06-27T00:42:12Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > How did that kid know what his cock looked like? How do we know the kid was right? Have you seen Jacko’s cock? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/138 "2009-06-27T00:42:44Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > This is completely Devil’s Advocate (I believe Jackson was a pedophile): Innocent people have been a[ccused of, convicted of, and done time in prison for child molestation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kern_County_child_abuse_cases). There was a series of false accusations aided by poorly trained social workers who asked children leading questions and browbeat them into changing their story from “nothing happened” to fantastical ones of rape, satanic rituals and murder. > > On the other hand, the stuff Jackson was accused of were long after the [McMartin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McMartin_preschool) and Kern County cases and after social workers and police were properly trained. I’m familiar with the McMartin travesty, as well as the witch hunt atmosphere of that entire era. I don’t think the evidence or the plausibility of the charges is comparable to MJ, though. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/139 "2009-06-27T00:46:03Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Why not? Many times, it is cheaper. $25 million buys a **lot** of lawyer time. OJ Simpson spent between three and six million for his “Dream Team” and they managed to successfully get him off for a pair of murders that few sane people doubt he committed. Jackson did not behave like an innocent man wrongly accused - he behaved like a pedophile who believed that what he did wasn’t wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008/140 "2009-06-27T00:48:04Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > How do we know the kid was right? Have you seen Jacko’s cock? The cops and the prosecutors did. They took pictures of it. The kid had accurately described the vitiligo splotches on it. Not something he’d have been likely to guess about. Reportedly, it was one of the things which most convinced the prosecutors, and the thing that made Jacko decide to pay him off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-gloved-one/501008.md?page=8)