# Fuck the Kabballah thing - Madonna is NOT Jewish! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 2, 2005, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919 "2005-02-02T02:39:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/41 "2005-02-02T16:59:15Z")
> [@Ukulele Ike](#): > > …so, is Madonna planning on building herself a golem? complete with broken pottery in the mouth of it’s victims. [sub] a golem was an avenger/protector, correct? [/quote] ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/42 "2005-02-02T17:10:01Z")
> [@tagos](#): > > They do it themselves already, no-one seems to have much of a problem with the Holy Rolling charlatans or the rest of them. Ok…I can add nothing to the Jewish part of this, as I am only familiar with Jewish customs through the Christian teachings about Jews and very limited amounts of interactions with Jewish people. However, I can, and feel I must, comment on this. “Holy Rolling charlatans”? The term “holy roller” is meant as an insult to those of the Christian faith who believe in “speaking in tongues” and “dancing in the spirit of the Lord”. Granted, there are many Christians who do not believe that these acts, as interpreted by the Bible, are necessary for salvation, but few would actually call Pentecostals (members of the church of the Assembly of God, Church of God and the United Pentecostal Churchs) “charlatans” of the Christian faith. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/43 "2005-02-02T17:28:14Z")
_[Amy Poehler as Madonna]_ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, kabballah, kabballah, kaballah, blah, blah, blah. _[/Amy Poehler as Madonna]_ I LIKE Madonna very much, but I’d like to see an interview with her lately that’s been about her life as an artist, be it singing, dancing, writing children’s books or throwing paint on a wall. I don’t need to hear anything else about the Kabballah thing. E. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/44 "2005-02-02T17:32:43Z")
> [@TwistofFate](#): > > [sub] a golem was an avenger/protector, correct? I dunno what sub means in this context, but as for a golem being a protector, [sorta](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golem). ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/45 "2005-02-02T18:33:28Z")
> [@kung fu lola](#): > > Oh, I know, isn’t it just _awful_? She mentioned it when she was on _Richard and Judy_, and then proceeded to do the hilarious Midwestern accent her hub makes fun of her for (which just doesn’t come across as well in text): > > “Where’s the caaaaaawwr? Oh my gaaawwwwd, where’s the caaawwwwr?” Hey! You can make fun or defend Madonna-Ester all you want. But don’t diss us midwesterners…or we’ll throw corn or something at you! It’s _Cahr._ ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/46 "2005-02-02T19:02:52Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > I dunno what sub means in this context, but as for a golem being a protector, [sorta](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golem). It was a case of busted code. He opened with [s u b] and closed with [/ q u o t e]. It should have been [s u b] blah blah blah [/ s u b] for [sub]subscript text[/sub] to indicate an aside. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/47 "2005-02-02T21:04:59Z")
> [@Jaade](#): > > The term “holy roller” is meant as an insult to those of the Christian faith who believe in “speaking in tongues” and “dancing in the spirit of the Lord”. Granted, there are many Christians who do not believe that these acts, as interpreted by the Bible, are necessary for salvation, but few would actually call Pentecostals (members of the church of the Assembly of God, Church of God and the United Pentecostal Churchs) “charlatans” of the Christian faith. Really? I always thought (and have used/heard it used as) and insult for those who use Christianity (or any other religion, really) as a way to support a lavish, hedonistic lifestyle. “High rollers,” so to speak, except with God instead of dice supporting their extravagences. Oral Roberts and the Rev. Moon would both be “Holy Rollers.” Some poor schmuck rolling around in the dirt in a Baptist revival tent shrieking gibberish would not. At least, as I understand the term. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/48 "2005-02-02T21:18:10Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > At least, as I understand the term. Traditionally, the term has been used like **Jaade** said…to disparage those Christian groups that do the whole faith healing/speaking in tongues/being possessed by the Spirit sort of thing. You can compare it to the earlier terms “Quakers” and “Shakers”, both of those groups getting their nicknames based on worship practices. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/49 "2005-02-02T23:35:29Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Out of curiosity, are you as annoyed by Jeff Goldblum (who was born and raised Jewish [though largely secular] and who also wears the red strings and praises K as helping him). First I’ve heard of Goldblum doing this. I view Madonna’s coming to the TKC as an irresponsible moron who did a swan dive without thinking to look first. Goldblum is clearly the latest in a long line of yids. He has no excuse. He should know that Kabbalah is something studied and practiced by the righteous and wise, not the Material Girl. **Ogre** AFAIC, there is no Hermetic or Crowley Kabbalah. There is only the real thing, and bastardized, watered-down crap. Judaism is not just something that gives Kabbalah flavor. It defines Kabbalah. ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/50 "2005-02-02T23:50:02Z")
Right you are, **Doc**. [being naughty] Although, someone _did_ point out that Madonna does fulfil two of the requirements for Kabballah study: She has parented one child of either sex, and she’s middle-aged. [/being naughty] ::scampers away to avoid wooden-spoon spanking:: ---
**Author:** ![Snakey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@Snakey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snakey)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/51 "2005-02-03T00:07:38Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > Just for clarification: kabbalah is a basically Jewish mysticism, developed from about the 1200s (although some non-historian kabbalists claim it goes back to Moses, of course.) Why stop there? Sefer Yeztirah is claimed to be written by Avraham Avinu. ;j > [@FinnAgain](#): > > For a jumping off point I would suggest the book “God is a Verb” by Rabbi David Cooper. The language is easy to understand and flows rather well. For another perspective, try the books by the renowed Kabbalist and Physicist, Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan. True elloquance. ;j ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919/52 "2005-02-03T00:11:29Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > I thought only gay _men_ knew that much about Madonna (or Cher), **kung fu lola**. Dude, you have no idea. Really. If I was more of a navel-gazer than I am now, I would start “Ask the Madonna Fan” in Cafe Society. ~ kfl, Madonna fan for 20 years and still going strong (Also President of the Official Unofficial Guy Ritchie Fan Club). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-kabballah-thing-madonna-is-not-jewish/287919.md?page=2)