# Fuck the Lakers! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 10, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564 "2003-07-10T21:57:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/21 "2003-07-11T03:35:24Z")
Can you say Payton to Malone? Hopefully the egos of Malone and Gary will clash and fuck up the Lakers’ chemistry. Plus, how’s Karl gonna go after that career scoring record when everyone wants to score 18 points a game? It could turn out to be OK, or they could turn out to be the Blazers all over again. All the Lakers needed to do was pad up their bench a bit. But when Mourning and Kidd join the Spurs there’re gonna be some titanic matchups between them and the Lakers. Go Spurs! ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/22 "2003-07-11T04:21:54Z")
As a Magic fan all I have to say is this… YEAH, LOWBALL SHAQ. GREAT. FUCKING. IDEA. Anyway… I’m still pissed. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/23 "2003-07-11T05:44:11Z")
Don’t worry about team chemistry and egos. They’ve got the Zen Master coaching them. It’ll be all about the triangle. ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/24 "2003-07-11T06:29:06Z")
As a Spurs fan, I think that this is a horrible idea… …because I want the Spurs to win. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/25 "2003-07-11T12:45:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\*In the last few minutes of the game? Absolutely. Especially with Shaq and Kobe out there. Madsen will do everything right. He almost never makes a mistake and almost never plays outside his ability. He’ll dive after every ball within 15 feet of him. He’ll set whatever screens he needs to get Kobe or Shaq open and the ball and a selfish thought won’t even enter his head. And he won’t throw up a bad shot. > > Malone, on the other hand, will demand the ball, choke and throw up a brick. \*\* I dunno about that, I’d rather have Karl out there. His experience is invaluble, and by _just_ being on the floor, he causes more problems for the defense then Madsen on his best day. As far as demanding the ball, we’ll have to see how this works out. I’m sure the Lakers had the chemistry thing in mind before they started this mess. Another thing, this Alonzo Mourning crap has got to end. He is a shell of his former self, and my money is that he won’t even make it through the season. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/26 "2003-07-11T13:39:07Z")
I really dislike the Lakers, so I hope this all blows up and fails miserably. That said, some of the things said in this thread really confuse me. > [@](#): > > I’d rather have Madsen out there I won’t delve into how insane this statement truly is. Even if Malone spends an entire game stumbling around, he is still better to have out there because he demands defensive attention which keeps Shaq free in the middle. It won’t matter anyway, because Luke Walton is going to take Madsen’s spot in the rotation. > [@](#): > > Sure, it’d be nice, but those stats were for an offense that ran through Malone and Stockton. The Lakers offense runs through Kobe and Shaq. I just don’t think there’s enough to go around for him to post even mediocre stats. Except that by having Payton and Malone, Shaq gets to rest a whole lot more. He always misses a few games to injury and he routinely complains about season length. So, Shaq will be sitting more. Also, it was nearly impossible in the past to rest Shaq and Kobe at the same time because the wheels would tend to fall off. Now, rest any two you want and the Lakers still have 2 stars on the court. I expect Malone to get plenty of touches and average 12 and 8. Want to make any bets on that Casey? ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/27 "2003-07-11T15:03:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Want to make any bets on that Casey? If I lose, I’ll eat a banana. That’s at least as gross (IMO) as a Giraffe Sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/28 "2003-07-11T16:30:44Z")
I know you meant to finish that sentence with “…dipped in the bodily fluid of Mullinator’s choice.” ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/29 "2003-07-11T16:38:26Z")
I may have an “S” on my chest, but it doesn’t stand for ‘stupid’. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/30 "2003-07-11T16:55:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Casey1505 \* > \*\*Karl Malone will have no impact on that team at all. Karl Malone signed with the Lakers because Karl Malone wants to get Karl Malone a championship ring. Karl Malone has no gratitude to the good people of Salt Lake City, who supported Karl Malone in everything Karl Malone did. Karl Malone should have stayed put, and finished Karl Malone’s career in Utah. Just another example of a player trying to validate a fantastic career with a ring. Karl Malone may get Karl Malone’s ring, but Karl Malone is just another in a long line of selfish athletes. > > \*\* Selfish? Look, Karl Malone has spent 18 years with the Jazz, in a city that MOST black players regard as the equivalent of Siberia! He’s been a GREAT player, and he’s generally EMBRACED the city and its people! I’m not saying he’s a saint- merely that fans in a relatively small market should appreciate what they have, when they’re lucky enough to get a stellar athlete who likes their town and is happy to be there! I’d like to think that fans in San Antonio understand how lucky they were to have two guys like David Robinson and Tim Duncan, who actually LIKED San Antonio WANTED to play there! (Not every star player feels the same way, to put it mildly.) And Utah fans should appreciate the way karl malone stayed with them, all these years. If Karl Malone were REALLY selfish, he’d have abandoned the Jazz years ago, and moved to a market where he’d have earned more money, gotten WAAAAY more media exposure, and more opportunities for endorsements. (And, incidentally, where he could have found better night life, more soul food restaurants, more radio stations that play his kind of music, and a few barbers who know how to cut black men’s hair!) As it is, he’s leaving the Jazz in the twilight of his career, and taking a HUGE pay cut, just for the opportunity to win a championship. I don’t blame Utah fans if they’re disappointed to see him go, but I think their attitude should be, “Good luck, Karl, and thanks for all the great years.” I have several friends from Cleveland, all of whom hate the Dallas Cowboys passionately. But all of them have said they were happy to see hometown hero Bernie Kosar get his Super Bowl ring with the Cowboys. Personally, I’ve never liked the Lakers… but if Karl gets his ring in L.A. next year, I hope Jazz fans will be happy for him, if only for a second. ---
**Author:** ![LordVor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@LordVor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordVor)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/31 "2003-07-11T18:36:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*Don’t worry about team chemistry and egos. They’ve got the Zen Master coaching them. It’ll be all about the triangle. \*\* The offence that doesn’t call for the power forward to score and the point guard to have assists? Not exactly built around Malone’s and Payton’s strengths, that triangle. -lv ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/32 "2003-07-11T18:59:38Z")
All I know is, the traffic in downtown Los Angeles is _already_ a pain when the Lakers play. This will just make my commute infinitesmally worse. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/33 "2003-07-11T19:02:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astorian \* > \*\*Selfish? > > Look, Karl Malone has spent 18 years with the Jazz, in a city that MOST black players regard as the equivalent of Siberia! He’s been a GREAT player, and he’s generally EMBRACED the city and its people! > > I’m not saying he’s a saint- merely that fans in a relatively small market should appreciate what they have, when they’re lucky enough to get a stellar athlete who likes their town and is happy to be there! I’d like to think that fans in San Antonio understand how lucky they were to have two guys like David Robinson and Tim Duncan, who actually LIKED San Antonio WANTED to play there! (Not every star player feels the same way, to put it mildly.) And Utah fans should appreciate the way karl malone stayed with them, all these years. > > If Karl Malone were REALLY selfish, he’d have abandoned the Jazz years ago, and moved to a market where he’d have earned more money, gotten WAAAAY more media exposure, and more opportunities for endorsements. (And, incidentally, where he could have found better night life, more soul food restaurants, more radio stations that play his kind of music, and a few barbers who know how to cut black men’s hair!) > > As it is, he’s leaving the Jazz in the twilight of his career, and taking a HUGE pay cut, just for the opportunity to win a championship. I don’t blame Utah fans if they’re disappointed to see him go, but I think their attitude should be, “Good luck, Karl, and thanks for all the great years.” > > I have several friends from Cleveland, all of whom hate the Dallas Cowboys passionately. But all of them have said they were happy to see hometown hero Bernie Kosar get his Super Bowl ring with the Cowboys. Personally, I’ve never liked the Lakers… but if Karl gets his ring in L.A. next year, I hope Jazz fans will be happy for him, if only for a second. \*\* Yeah thats pretty much how I feel. I just loath Kobe with the fury of a thousand suns. BTW looks like Alonzo is signing with the Nets (4 yrs 20 mil), and Kidd will be staying put. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/34 "2003-07-11T19:12:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astorian \* > \*\*Selfish? > > Look, Karl Malone has spent 18 years with the Jazz, in a city that MOST black players regard as the equivalent of Siberia! He’s been a GREAT player, and he’s generally EMBRACED the city and its people! > > I’m not saying he’s a saint- merely that fans in a relatively small market should appreciate what they have, when they’re lucky enough to get a stellar athlete who likes their town and is happy to be there! I’d like to think that fans in San Antonio understand how lucky they were to have two guys like David Robinson and Tim Duncan, who actually LIKED San Antonio WANTED to play there! (Not every star player feels the same way, to put it mildly.) And Utah fans should appreciate the way karl malone stayed with them, all these years. > > If Karl Malone were REALLY selfish, he’d have abandoned the Jazz years ago, and moved to a market where he’d have earned more money, gotten WAAAAY more media exposure, and more opportunities for endorsements. (And, incidentally, where he could have found better night life, more soul food restaurants, more radio stations that play his kind of music, and a few barbers who know how to cut black men’s hair!) > > As it is, he’s leaving the Jazz in the twilight of his career, and taking a HUGE pay cut, just for the opportunity to win a championship. I don’t blame Utah fans if they’re disappointed to see him go, but I think their attitude should be, “Good luck, Karl, and thanks for all the great years.” > > I have several friends from Cleveland, all of whom hate the Dallas Cowboys passionately. But all of them have said they were happy to see hometown hero Bernie Kosar get his Super Bowl ring with the Cowboys. Personally, I’ve never liked the Lakers… but if Karl gets his ring in L.A. next year, I hope Jazz fans will be happy for him, if only for a second. \*\* Yeah thats pretty much how I feel. I just loath Kobe with the fury of a thousand suns. BTW looks like Alonzo is signing with the Nets (4 yrs 20 mil), and Kidd will be staying put. ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/35 "2003-07-11T19:26:50Z")
Jeepers, if Wilt were still around we could _all_ fuck the Lakers… ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/36 "2003-07-11T20:27:50Z")
It’s not that I hate the Lakers. Actually, yes it is. I would love to say that these signings will hurt them as a team. I can’t see how. They gave up nothing to get two likely Hall of Famers. Old guys are great for patching holes on championship or near-championship teams. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/37 "2003-07-11T21:17:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mullinator \* > \*\*I know you meant to finish that sentence with “…dipped in the bodily fluid of Mullinator’s choice.” \*\* All right, allright, let’s at least be accurate here. **I** chose the fluid. If you’d dropped your cell phone in a big puddle of jizz, I would have kept my big fat mouth shut. [sub]Man, I knew I was never going to live this down. But in a Lakers thread??[/sub] And I hope these additions work out, because I love watching the Lakers, almost exclusively because Shaq is such a monster. I want to dunk like that! Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/38 "2003-07-11T21:58:28Z")
> [@](#): > > If you’d dropped your cell phone in a big puddle of jizz, I would have kept my big fat mouth shut I’m sorry, that just beared repeating. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![shelbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@shelbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shelbo)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/39 "2003-07-11T22:17:01Z")
“Payton brings it up the court, feeds it in to Shaq down low. Double team, Shaq kicks it out to Kobe - Kobe finds Malone cutting in on the weak side, finger roll is . . . good! That’s the end of the half - Lakers lead by 42.” (Oh, I wish Chick were still around!) You guys are right. The chemistry is going to be terrible. They really should have passed on getting Payton and Malone for what, $5MM _combined?!_ By the way, Shaq had better get his fat ass out of the pool and into the gym this summer. If nothing else, the pay cut these two stars took might guaranty that, and that alone might get the Lakers the championship. As a Laker fan, I can only say . . . Neener, Neener, Neener!! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564/40 "2003-07-11T23:15:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shelbo \* > \*\*“Payton brings it up the court, feeds it in to Shaq down low. Double team, Shaq kicks it out to Kobe - Kobe finds Malone cutting in on the weak side, finger roll is . . . good! That’s the end of the half - Lakers lead by 42.” (Oh, I wish Chick were still around!) > > You guys are right. The chemistry is going to be terrible. They really should have passed on getting Payton and Malone for what, $5MM _combined?!_ > > By the way, Shaq had better get his fat ass out of the pool and into the gym this summer. If nothing else, the pay cut these two stars took might guaranty that, and that alone might get the Lakers the championship. As a Laker fan, I can only say . . . Neener, Neener, Neener!! > > 😉 \*\* To nitpick, after the luxury tax and all Payton and Karl combined will cost around 13 Mil. Still a fucking bargain. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-lakers/187564.md?page=3)