# Fuck the Oscars **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 1, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941 "2004-03-01T17:36:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941/41 "2004-03-03T13:35:22Z")
I watched, partly because I wanted to see if I’d need to suit up for the Great Nerd Riots of 2004 and partly because I like to look at all them purty dresses. We kept switching between the Oscars and “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” surely one of the creepiest kids’ movies ever. ---
**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941/42 "2004-03-03T13:53:03Z")
I also “had to” watch the Hollywoodites congratulate themselves. Something about this pop culture excercise has always fascinated me. It was fitting that they paid an homage to Bob “Fill in the Blank” Hope. They could have spent more time on that and sent everyone home early and I would have been satisfied. Gee, isn’t Jack Nicholson looking old? And poor ole Diane Keaton? Prolly the last time she’ll ever be able to show up for an event trussed up as a child. Tsk. A complete waste of time but the crappiest moment for me was when the marvelous Annie Lennox (obviously stoned out of her mind) accepted the Best Song award as if it were the Best Musical Performance By A Solo Artiste Ever award to the exclusion of the writers hovering around her wating a turn at the mike. I had my hands over my ears for fear that she would make the “You really like me!” comment. A total bore. ---
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941/43 "2004-03-03T13:56:25Z")
> [@quiltguy154](#): > > Let’s can it on the Judi Dench remarks, thank you. \ Arrr! and why do I want to be doing that then?\> You seriously can’t tell me that 8 minutes of screen time in a period drama (and don’t they just love them at the Oscars) is worth an award like that. She’s a mediocre at best middle aged BBC sitcom actress for fucks sake. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941/44 "2004-03-03T14:48:54Z")
I stopped watching the Oscars many years ago when the host Johnny Carson opened the show by saying “You’re about to see 30 minutes of the greatest entertainment ever. Unfortunately, it’s a 3 hour show.” I said to myself, “Johnny’s right.” I quit watching them then and haven’t gone back since. If you think about it, it’s just an industry award show for an industry I’m not any part of, so why should I care? Sure, I enjoy movies, but I enjoy using indoor plumbing too but that doesn’t mean I want to go to see who gets awarded “Plumber of the Year.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941/45 "2004-03-03T15:04:42Z")
Seriously someone one year has to go to the awards in some old clothes they usually wear around the house and when they win the award just go up there and snatch it out the persons hand and run out of the building. That would be funny. ---
**Author:** ![Ex\_Machina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ex_Machina)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941/46 "2004-03-03T19:34:22Z")
I’m glad there are other people in the world who love movies but hate certain little ego-monsters called actors. As far as I’m concerned actors and actresses are necessary nuisances. They remind me of the saying “children should be seen and not heard.” And that goes for singers too (sing your song Annie Lennox- then shut the fuck up.) Every year someone should get the Sappy Simpering Award. This year it was close between Lennox and Renee Zellweger. I like to watch the Oscars like most people who like to watch cheesy dreck. That opening series of Billy Crystal’s was so painfully protracted that I was in a kind of nausea nirvana. “When is this self-indulgent self-promoting shit going to end?!” I found myself screaming with delight. Yeah, fuck the Oscars and fuck those pimps and whores that make up the “Academy.” Hell, fuck all awards shows, for that matter. Box-office is enough of a reward for a good product. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941/47 "2004-03-03T23:54:46Z")
> [@paulberserker](#): > > You seriously can’t tell me that 8 minutes of screen time in a period drama (and don’t they just love them at the Oscars) is worth an award like that. Yes. Yes, I can. I saw that movie. I left the theater thinking that Judi Dench should win an Oscar for her performance (brief as it was). For once, my opinion was vindicated. Plenty of full-length performances win undeserved Oscars, but Judi Dench earned that award. > [@](#): > > If you are going to watch, then you are by default buying into the idea that this is a show of excellent works, judged by the peers of the nominees. Otherwise, uh…why watch? For the entertainment value. I don’t care who wins or loses, it’s a fun T.V. show. Since 1972 I’ve watched every Oscar show but one. I’m not buying into the idea that this is a show of excellent works any more than by watching _The Apprentice_ I’m buying into the idea that you can adequately judge a person’s business ability by how much lemonade they can sell in a day. Most years, I haven’t even seen most of the nominees – in fact this year I had seen none of the winning actors’ performances. The Oscars are big and fun and glamorous and ridiculous and rarely right (except of course in the case of Judi Dench 😃 ), but I love them anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941/48 "2004-03-04T00:20:40Z")
I have been searching for like 15 minutes here and come up empty handed, so I am going to guesstimate to make a point. Anthony Hopkins had…10 minutes? …of screen time as Dr. Hannibal Lechtor, and he won the Oscar for it. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2004, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941/49 "2004-03-04T02:14:14Z")
I tuned in just when Billy Crystal was doing that thing where they show a closeup of somebody in the audience and Crystal says what they’re thinking. After a few of those I found myself thinking, “Jesus Christ, is there any _end_ to it?”, so I changed the channel. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941/50 "2004-03-04T03:30:59Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > I have been searching for like 15 minutes here and come up empty handed, so I am going to guesstimate to make a point. > > Anthony Hopkins had…10 minutes? …of screen time as Dr. Hannibal Lechtor, and he won the Oscar for it. When Judi Dench won for _Shakespeare in Love_, someone trotted out the fact that Anthony Quinn holds the record for briefest Oscar-winning performance, having been onscreen for 8 minutes in _Lust for Life_. I suppose he had a few seconds less than Judi Dench. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941/51 "2004-03-04T03:59:58Z")
I watch it solely to watch inappropriate responses. Nothing beats the pompous actor acting like a pouty baby when they lose. Bill Murray played that role this time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-the-oscars/231941.md?page=2)