Fuck you and your assumption of marital privilege!

The BBQ Pit
21

I have recently encountered this very kind of hell. I was unfailingly polite, no invective, but I was extremely frustrated before it was over.

My bedridden mother in law lived with us for almost six years. We had a separate phone line, (her old service moved from her apartment actually), in her room. It was in her name and paid from her bank account, to which we had access, for this very purpose.

Last spring she passed, but we left the phone line as our internet service was tied to that line, but removed the phone. It was a traumatic time and disconnecting the phone and long distance service was hardly a priority.

But time marches on and eventually the day came when we knew we had to stop paying for all this extra stuff we didn’t need.

Now I knew it would be difficult from the onset, I had to cancel her local service, and her long distance provider. Cost saving being the game of the day, I had decided to also change internet service providers, setting the new service up on our line. Tall order I agree but I am nothing if not optimistic.

A lifetime of complete honesty has ill trained me to be deceptive, but when I recounted my experiences to my friends they unfailing suggested I just pretend to be her.

They kept telling me I couldn’t cancel the service unless she called to do it herself! :eek: I pointed out she didn’t have the kind of coverage that allowed her to call, y’know, from the other side. Long distance indeed! With persistence and whatever good humour I could muster I managed to make my way through it. But it was WAY harder than it should have been.

When I finally reached the cancelling of the Sympatico I knew I was in for the hard sell and was in no mood by then. When they asked why I was cancelling the service I heard myself blurting out, “I’m moving out of the country.” :dubious: I have to say it worked perfectly, no hard sell, call finished, done. :smiley:

22

I was dumb enough to be honest with my father’s cell phone service when I called to shut it down.
Ms. Meta: “Hello, I’m Mr. MetaFather’s daughter and I’m calling on his behalf to cancel this account because he is deceased.”
“Customer Service” rep: “So, he’d like to close the account?”
Ms. Meta: “Yes, he’s DECEASED.”

I also love it that when I called his utility company shortly before his death, they wouldn’t speak to me because of the privacy concerns. After his death, they took my word for it and helped me take care of the account.

23

Moving out of the country! That’s a good one. :smiley:

I called our insurance company once for information about a bill. They refused to talk to me though I’m the insured and my husband was the dependent. So, I gave one of my coworkers all of the information and asked him to call.

The call went fine until he said, “Uhhhh… Just a minute,” and put his hand over the phone and started yelling for me. “When the hell is my birthdate?!”

We were both laughing so hard at that moment it’s amazing the insurance company didn’t hang up on us.

24

And that sums up the stupidity of the law. I can’t call and get information about an account I pay that is in my husband’s name due to privacy laws - but if I have anyone else call and pretend to be my husband - with information I can easily provide, they spill like they’ve been waterboarded.

25

My stepfather was on a year-long trip on a very small boat with little or no access to communication, and some jerk fraudulently charged his credit card for $1600. My mother tryed to deal with the situation, seeing as she’s, ya know, his wife, and finacially responsible for his debts, but they refused to give her the time of day. She explained the out-of-contact-for-the-forseeable-future thing, she explained the I’m-responsible-for-his-debts thing, but no go.

Finally she calls them up.
Her: “Hi, this is Micheal Andrews*. I’m calling to complain about a fraudulent charge.”
Confused-sounding CSR: “Um, you’re Micheal Andrews?”
Her: “Yes”
<pause>
CSCSR: “Uh, can I have your date of birth and password?”

The CSR obviously didn’t have the balls to tell Micheal Andrews that he sounded like a woman.

mischievous

26

Obviously, the “*” in my post was meant to lead to a footnote which pointed out that Micheal Andrews is not, in fact, my stepfather’s name.

mischeivous

27

I have done that too.

But, boy, these people should get a clue and if it’s a joint account, not issue a card in the husband’s name only (or, to be fair, in the wife’s name only, but it’s usually the husband’s.) I know they do this 90 percnet of the time, and 90 percent of the time that is NOT the person who will be calling, paying the bill, etc. I really hate the fact that getting married seems to have canceled me.

I once had an ISP that was set up in both our names, but which was paid by MY credit card. Then I went to work for a company that would reimburse my internet expenses, but the bill had mysteriously reverted to his name only. Now, my company probably could have dealt with that because it is the same last name. Still, I called to change it, just to make things easier. And I got the same old runaround. “The account holder has to call.” “I am the account holder.” “No, the account holder is listed as John Himself, so John Himself has to call…” I told them to look for how the account was paid (i.e., credit card in the name of ME, not a joint account) and to change it to that name, and the CSR gave me a hard time. I said that money flowed to the ISP from the account, and if they didn’t change it said money would no longer flow to them from that or any other account in the name of either ME or John Himself…and finally, after 45 minutes of wrangling, they changed it. Two months later it again reverted to Himself, at which point I found another ISP.

Another thing in that ilk. Some years ago I was selling a house that I bought while single. At the time I was selling it, though, I was married. The realtor would call up and ask for John Himself and actually wouldn’t talk to me. “Need to discuss the asking price with Mr. Himself.” “No, actually, you need to discuss it with ME.” (Truly, either of us would do.)

So one of the things frosting Otto’s customers is probably that they have been CANCELED and it is no fun.

28

I, for one, am happy at least one person in that industry–thanks, Otto–is following the laws and rules. I say this as someone who had all of his financial information delivered without authorization to a relative who promptly used it to run up an incredible amount of debt. Luckily, that person’s no longer related.

29

Nah, I think the CSR immediately sensed she wasn’t Michael Andrews because she spelled Michael wrong.

:wink:

30

I can’t cancel my first paypal account.

You see, I opened it while living in the US. I can not indicate a “new address” in another country, or a Visa card from another country, or a bank account from another country. So I’d like to cancel it.

I can take out the credit card currently associated with it, but I need the card’s whole number. Uy! I shredded it!

I can take out the bank account currently associated with it, but I need the account’s whole number. Oopsies… c’mon, Mr. Shredder, be good and cough a whole check…

And, even if I was able to take those two out… I still would not be able to close the damn account! And it’s ME!

There has to be something else those jerks would be able to use as proof of identity, damnit.

31

I bought a house with my first husband. He was employed part time. I was employed full time. I made more money. I had the downpayment. I asked to be listed first on all mortgage related paperwork. I wasn’t. They redid it.

But when we did get the mortgage, his name was first. Changing it after the mortgage was in place while we were married was impossible. But not necessary. It was after he left and filed a change in address that the fun started.

You see. I stayed in the house. At the end of the divorce, I held title to the house. But they (of course), won’t take him off the mortgage. And because his name is first, the post office forwarded all mortgage payment coupons, tax information, escrow information, etc. to him. Which he didn’t send back to me. After a few attempts at switching it (it didn’t happen until I was able to afford to refinance the mortgage - which was a few years later), I got really good at stops by the bank to ask if anything new was going on with my account (the bank was in the same building I worked in).

32

Quick question. Suppose that you get a someone on the line claiming to be the person who has the rights to the card, they know all the right information but their voice sounds like the wrong gender, i.e. it’s probably the wife pretending to be the husband or the other way round. Are you allowed to challenge them, or do you accept they are who they claim to be even if you think they’re not?

For what it’s worth I’m also glad that you stick to your guns and don’t give out the info, the problem is that there are some people who aren’t as honest and some companies that are significantly more lax. All of this leads people to believe they can bully the guy on the other end of the phone into giving them the info. Common courtesy, sorely lacking already in life, seems to go out the window when some people are on the phone to customer services.

SD

33

I’ll tell you, even when the system “works,” it’s not all beer and skittles. I work for a timeshare company, in Billing. We recognize Primary and Secondary owners - even Tertiary. There are any number of circumstances I can remember when an account’s owner or co-owner calls in and says, “Oh, we’ve moved – here’s our new address.” We duly change it; the end.

Until billing season rolls around. Then we get the other co-owner phoning in because they never received a bill. We explain we had received word that they had moved, and changed the address. There’s an explosion on the other end of the phone-line. “We didn’t move! We’re getting divorced! He/She is trying to take over the bills to claim sole ownership! I demand you change it back this instant and re-send the bill!” And so we do. Until the next billing comes around, when the original caller realizes that the address has been switched again and kicks up a fuss. We’re all happy when we see in the back comments that a divorce decree has come through, giving the property to one or the other.

34

Thppppt. :stuck_out_tongue:

35

I think some of us are frustrated (not with Otto, of course, but the “system”) that the inconvenience results from honesty, and is so easily resolved by lying. I’m all for privacy protection. too, and I’m kind of appalled that out of all the companies I’ve dealt with, only three have asked for a copy of the death certificate. (One was his ISP, one for his pension, and one for a bank account). They are all under some legal obligation not to deal with me when my parents were unavailable or incapacitated, but are all on board when I call to say, “They’re dead, I’m paying the bills.”

36

Man, many moons ago, I used to work in a hotel as a front desk clerk. We had a very strict policy of never giving out guest information. You could call and ask to be transferred up to Jane Smith’s room, but you could not find out if Jane Smith was a guest by calling the hotels and asking.

I dealt with many angry, and sometimes tearful calls, because of this. “Please, I’m his wife! I think he’s cheating. Just tell me if he has a room there!” Oh, yeah, we really want that scene. “I’m her husband! I know she’s staying in this town but I don’t know which hotel.” Either that, or you’re a stalker. I’m not paid to make that determination.

I also dealt with people demanding that they be allowed into rooms. “I’m her husband. I’m supposed to go into the room and get something.” Sorry-- if you don’t have a key and you’re not registered, I’m not going to let you into someone’s room.

And, if Jane Smith has left instructions that no calls are to be transferred to her room, I’m not going to transfer you anyway.* Yes, I know it’s an emergency. I hear that all the time.* What I will do is take your number, put on her message light and let her know you called when she retrieves her messages.

37

I’m happy my husband has an androgynous first name (which he doesn’t go by.) 'Nuff said.

38

Then how do you answer the caller if he asks to be transferred up to Jane Smith’s room, but Jane Smith is not a guest at the hotel? I can’t think of a way of letting people phone hotel guests without simultaneously providing a simple way of finding out if someone is a guest.

39

I’ve run into the same thing with all of our utilities (all in my husband’s name, all requiring HIM to call in and add my name to the bills). It gets frustrating for women, and it does feel like you get cancelled when you get married. I agree that they shouldn’t be taking it out on you, Otto, but know that this probably isn’t the first (or second, or fifteenth) time that as a woman, they have run into this financial one-way street bullshit (they can and do come after wives for their husband’s debts, but they won’t give wives any access to the accounts when it would make the wife’s life easier for bill paying, etc.).

40

If she’s not registered, the hotel is is simply going to inform the caller that there is no guest by that name, but if she is a guest, they’re just going to transfer the caller up unless they had prior instructions not to do so. Yeah, it’s obvious that someone looking for Jane Smith could just call every hotel in town and ask to be transferred to her room. It’s all in how it’s phrased.

This loophole in our privacy policy was something that I pointed out to my boss again and again, but she would just shrug and mumble “corporate policy.”