# Fuck you, Christian Evangelists! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 24, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148 "2003-06-24T22:01:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/41 "2003-06-25T00:42:45Z")
Okay, I just read that link (the Chick tract) What the HELL??? It makes me so damn sad to see people accepting a certain religion out of fear. Relgion shouldn’t be _about_ fear. That’s just not right. (Of course, I’m not about to go knocking on Christians doors telling them about the joys of Wicca and how they don’t have to live in fear of spending eternity in a lake of fire because I’m respectful of other’s religions) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/42 "2003-06-25T00:43:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*Somehow i doubt you’ll be so bold when you see Him face to face. > dude. \*\* Why not? What’s he going to do, send you to extra-super-duper-Hell? Damn you for all eternity plus two weeks? It’s literally damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Might even work out to your favor. Give you more of a rep when you get down there, maybe scare the Beelzebubbas out of trying to cornhole you in the sulfur pits. Other damned souls be like, “Don’t mess with that guy. He told God to suck his dick. To his _face_! You and me, we’re just damned. But that guy… He’s _crazy_!” ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/43 "2003-06-25T00:44:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Binarydrone \* > \*\*Yes please. Shut the fuck up about Jesus already. We have all had enough. \*\* Ok, let’s move on, then. So, Binarydrone, do you eat meat? Do you know that that stuff’ll kill you? Not to be an asshole or anything, but I’d be _more_ of an asshole if I didn’t warn you that the disgusting animal flesh you ingest is not only murder, it’s also a deadly poison. I think we can run with this: “Meat-eating is terrorism. Meat is the victim.” “Jesus died and rose from the dead. That cow won’t.” I mean, heaven forbid that someone have an opinion about Disgusting Animal Flesh and not share it with anyone, right? (Let’s face it- when it comes to fundamentalist Christianity, we’re dealing with actual members of a demonic brainwashing cult. Can you really expect any better of them?) ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/44 "2003-06-25T00:45:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > \*\ ***Skammer** , > > Just think about this okay? How would you feel if, like what was mentioned in a previous post, our country was in a state of immense religious tension and turmoil, and a bunch of troops came here to try to convince _you_ that _your_ faith is wrong and that you need to convert or burn in hell. > > How would you feel about evangelists then? \*\* If you’re talking about military troops, I’d be pissed as hell. And I don’t defend our military intervention in Iraq at all, I think it’s reprehensible. If a bunch of people of another faith came and tried to convince me that my faith was wrong – well, how’s that different than the SDMB?😉 Seriously, I don’t blame anyone for trying to convince me of what they believe to be true. That’s why we have the GD forum. What if they followed your advice, and at the end of my life I found out that my faith was a fantasy and they really did know the way to God, but they never told me because they didn’t want to offend me? I know you don’t believe that, but these missionaries do, and they have to live by those convictions. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/45 "2003-06-25T00:46:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*He wasn’t praying _for_ them, he was praying against their faith. If you can’t see how vile that is then I don’t know what to tell you. \*\* Well, if he believes his faith is right and that theirs is wrong, and that they should adopt his faith, what should he do? ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/46 "2003-06-25T00:46:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Apos \* > \*\*Hopefully not. I mean, what’s worse than thinking that your position is so just that you deserve call upon the supposed ruler of the entire universe enforce your will on others? > > Trying to save people from “wrong beliefs” because that’s the absolute worst crime imaginable against a being that you inexplicably worship for such a moral travesty is one of the most vicious, Orwellian crimes against the word “love” ever imagined. \*\* Okay, can we get that one more time in English? Maybe the sun has fried my brain, but I’ve read this 5 times over and it still doesn’t make any sense. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/47 "2003-06-25T00:47:49Z")
**Ben** , sorry to burst your bubble, but I am a vegetarian. Howerver, I do smoke. Run with that! ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/48 "2003-06-25T00:48:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Apos \* > \*\*Trying to save people from “wrong beliefs” because that’s the absolute worst crime imaginable \*\* Nobody said anything about wrong beliefs being a crime, or somehow ‘bad’. You can debate without putting words in my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/49 "2003-06-25T00:49:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*Why not? What’s he going to do, send you to extra-super-duper-Hell? Damn you for all eternity plus two weeks? It’s literally damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Might even work out to your favor. Give you more of a rep when you get down there, maybe scare the Beelzebubbas out of trying to cornhole you in the sulfur pits. Other damned souls be like, “Don’t mess with that guy. He told God to suck his dick. To his _face_! You and me, we’re just damned. But that guy… He’s _crazy_!” \*\* Thank you **Miller** , that was the funniest thing I’ve read in a _long_ time. Who knew blasphemy could be this fun?! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/50 "2003-06-25T00:53:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Captain Amazing \* > \*\*Well, if he believes his faith is right and that theirs is wrong, and that they should adopt his faith, what should he do? \*\* Assume that they have already heard about the Magical Sky Pixie, and then shut the Fuck Up? Perhaps critically examine his own belief system in light of the fact that there are those that find if ludicrous? Just as a starting point, you understand. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/51 "2003-06-25T00:57:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rjung \* > \*\*“Most [evangelicals] would subscribe to Luis Bush’s generalization about Islam, Buddhism and Hinduism: ‘Satan wants to keep people as miserable as possible for as long as possible.’” \*\* Luis Bush must think Satan is a real dumbass. The trick is to make the people \* happy \* for as long as possible, only revealing your true colors once they’ve died and you’re throwing them into everlasting torment. Any self-respecting demon should know that! Sheesh! What are they teaching in devil school these days? ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/52 "2003-06-25T01:05:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lissa \* > \*\*The trick is to make the people \* happy \* for as long as possible, only revealing your true colors once they’ve died and you’re throwing them into everlasting torment. > > Any self-respecting demon should know that! > > Sheesh! What are they teaching in devil school these days? \*\* Your loving uncle, ``` Screwtape ``` ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/53 "2003-06-25T02:25:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Well, if he believes his faith is right and that theirs is wrong, and that they should adopt his faith, what should he do? If you pray for someone of another faith, then ask for every good and perfect thing to happen to the other human being. That way, God has a say in the matter. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/54 "2003-06-25T02:27:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Captain Amazing \* > \*\*Well, if he believes his faith is right and that theirs is wrong, and that they should adopt his faith, what should he do? \*\* He should…rethink his world view? He should, I dunno, realize he’s not god, but a limited and finite creature (something you’d think his religion would have taught him) and therefore his understanding of the nature of god must be very very limited? He should consider the possibilty that those of other faiths might have as much to teach him about god as he has to teach them? He should recognize that given a few basic facts…he is limited, god (whoever he might be) is infinite (by definition)…sentiments such as “My faith is right and yours is wrong” have no place in this particular universe? bete “militant agnostic” noir ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/55 "2003-06-25T02:30:50Z")
You crack me up. ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/56 "2003-06-25T02:34:16Z")
Benetnoir, you fail to understand that if someone believes that he has the absolute truth, that he cannot be wrong, that being open-minded is a sin, that everyone else is a stupid asshat, and that God is, by any rational standard, criminally insane, then he _has_ to be a narrow-minded dork. It’s his _religion._ What do you expect him to do? Turn his back on everything he believes in? Sheesh, benetnoir, you just need to show a little respect for other people’s beliefs. All that meat must be rotting your brain or something. ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/57 "2003-06-25T03:47:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Binarydrone \* > \*\*Assume that they have already heard about the Magical Sky Pixie, and then shut the Fuck Up? \*\* And why, exactly, are we assuming this? ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/58 "2003-06-25T05:08:46Z")
**Oh, here’s a good one – “Islam is the terrorist, Muslims are the victim.” Yeah, way to go, condemn members of an entire faith as terrorists, why don’cha?** Islam, as in the faith = terrorist Muslims = victims As in, the FAITH is the terrorist. Not those who follow it. Surely your reading comprehension isn’t this shitty. **So he’s praying that the folks going out to follow their faith will be turned away from it instead? What unmitigated arrogance! What a total asshole!** How many times on this message board have I read people bragging that they made someone else doubt their faith (particularly Jehovah’s Witnesses)? Are they assholes too? **He wasn’t praying for them, he was praying against their faith. If you can’t see how vile that is then I don’t know what to tell you.** But hold up. If there is no such thing as the Magical Sky Pixie, wouldn’t this guy be wasting his time, in your book, praying that Muslims would see the light? In that case, why are you so pissed off … unless you’re afraid you’re wrong and there is someone out there answering prayers … ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/59 "2003-06-25T05:30:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*That god can suck my dick, dude. If I see him after I die I’m gonna kick him in the nuts. \*\* May I please use “If I see the Jack Chick God after I die, I’m gonna kick him in the nuts”? or something like that as my sig? I know it’s not QUITE the same, but I don’t think I’d be allowed to put “suck my dick” in my sig. If I am though, may I? That’s really funny! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148/60 "2003-06-25T14:05:36Z")
I’d be flattered, **Guin** , the sig is yours. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-christian-evangelists/184148.md?page=4)