# Fuck You Conservative Stupid-Making Machine **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 4, 2010, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977 "2010-10-04T05:12:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/181 "2010-10-05T16:08:15Z")
Invented oral sex. Reason enough. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/182 "2010-10-05T16:12:34Z")
Before discovering bathing, even. That’s a sacrifice, right there. ---
**Author:** ![cuberdon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/45deac/32.png) [@cuberdon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuberdon)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/183 "2010-10-05T16:19:42Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > And to a large degree the reason for this is the way evolution has been promoted by the left, which is by saying that creationism isn’t responsible for what we know as life today, evolution is. So if you want to make fun of people who confuse evolution with abiogenesis, remember they only believe that because of what YOU’VE said. 😃 How convenient, it’s the fault of the liberals again. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/184 "2010-10-05T16:22:03Z")
You see, there were no creationists back in the Fifties … ---
**Author:** ![martu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@martu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/martu)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/185 "2010-10-05T16:26:36Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Invented oral sex. Reason enough. Their mission to teach it to our cousin the Bonobo apes was most impressive I thought. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/186 "2010-10-05T16:48:54Z")
Killjoy was here. ---
**Author:** ![emacknight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ec8ea/32.png) [@emacknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emacknight)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/187 "2010-10-05T16:53:15Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Killjoy was here. Cite. ---
**Author:** ![Cyningablod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Cyningablod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyningablod)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/188 "2010-10-05T17:01:28Z")
> [@](#): > > […] since the Bible and its adherents tend to be anti-gay, anti-drug and anti-single parent and anti-promiscuity - all lifestyles championed by “progressives” […] I’m a liberal (“progressive”), and I myself was completely unaware that I “champion” drug use, single-parent homes, and promiscuity as “lifestyles”. Thanks, **Starving Artist** , for letting me know that I actively support those things! ::eye roll:: ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/189 "2010-10-05T17:05:44Z")
> [@martu](#): > > > [@elucidator](#): > > > > Invented oral sex. Reason enough. > > Their mission to teach it to our cousin the Bonobo apes was most impressive I thought. Wait, that’s not how I heard it. How did it go… oh yeah. French guy walks into a _brasserie_ and notices, standing behind the bar next to the _barman_, a big _gorille_… ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/190 "2010-10-05T19:10:30Z")
_Non!_ The Pope and the Primate of Athens walk into _le bistro_, and ze Pope asks: “Do you serve children here?”, and ze barman asks “Is this some of kind of a _jacque_?” ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/191 "2010-10-05T21:34:08Z")
> [@LouiseE](#): > > How convenient, it’s the fault of the liberals again. Convenience has nothing to do with it. Liberalism is an inherently faulty way of thinking and behaving - therefore most of what it says and most of what it does will be faulty, too. [QUOTE=otternell] Funny that SA complained about EP’s coding skills. [/quote] > [@Tom Scud](#): > > Awesome. > [@otternell](#): > > Funny that SA complained about EP’s coding skills. Even funnier that you didn’t notice that I merely posted as a person normally would, without fixing **EP’s** hosed up coding first. This is supposed to the be the smartest message board on the internet, isn’t it? Come on you people, lets step it up, eh! > [@Vinyl Turnip](#): > > Wait, that’s not how I heard it. How did it go… oh yeah. French guy walks into a brasserie and notices, standing behind the bar next to the barman, a big gorille… > [@elucidator](#): > > Non! The Pope and the Primate of Athens walk into le bistro, and ze Pope asks: “Do you serve children here?”, and ze barman asks “Is this some of kind of a jacque?” :smack: Stupide Americains wiz zher stupide Americain jokes! Ptoo! We do not want you over here wiz your crass and vulgar and dirty hippie ways. And we do not want you to try to be like us because you don’t know how! Go away! ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/192 "2010-10-05T22:01:20Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Even funnier that you didn’t notice that I merely posted as a person normally would, without fixing **EP’s** hosed up coding first. This is supposed to the be the smartest message board on the internet, isn’t it? Come on you people, lets step it up, eh! Ah the old “I did that to test you” gambit. ---
**Author:** ![Cyningablod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Cyningablod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyningablod)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/193 "2010-10-05T22:08:44Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > > [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > > > Even funnier that you didn’t notice that I merely posted as a person normally would, without fixing **EP’s** hosed up coding first. This is supposed to the be the smartest message board on the internet, isn’t it? Come on you people, lets step it up, eh! > > Ah the old “I did that to test you” gambit. Honestly, I don’t think **Starving Artist** is even smart enough to use _that_ old sorry excuse. Frankly, I can’t even tell _what_ the bloody fuck his point is, in the above quotation. But I’m pretty sure it’s just unfiltered puerile petulance…a bizarre, desperate lashing-out in response to being embarrassed by the public revelation of his pot/kettlism. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/194 "2010-10-05T23:21:00Z")
Once again, we have been tested, and once again, we have failed to measure up. We are not worthy. If he turned away from us and refused to share his bounty of changeless, timeless wisdom…well, we have no one to blame but ourselves. I, for one, would be devastated. One seldom comes across someone with such an abundant offering of easy straight lines for really cheap, crude jokes. Straight lines delivered with the utterest sincerity, innocent of irony. But we totally deserve it! Courage! It will be hard, at first. But we have a deep bench, maybe we can bring one up out of the minors. Not to replace, exactly, not likely we can find the same Sean-Hannity-channeling- Wilford-Brimley style, the same gruff and pragmatic ignorance. And such abundance! He will not be soon forgotten, and his resume kept on file for six months, if a suitable opening be found. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Love](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Dr.Love](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Love)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/195 "2010-10-06T00:44:22Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > For decades and decades the left has met conservatives and conservative philosophy, morals and lifestyle with scorn, ridicule, hatred and anger. Liberals are so convinced of the moral righteousness of their position, their intellectual superiority, and the stupidity and/or evil of anyone who disagrees with them, that they uttely cannot tolerate and don’t tolerate any sort of reasonable dialog. Do you have doubts as to the constitutionality of affirmative action or its consequences in the workplace? Then you’re a racist bigot! Do you dispute allegations that apart from reproduction, there is no difference between men and women whatsoever and no job exists that a man can do which a woman can’t? Then you’re a sexist bastard! Do you honestly feel that it is outside the proper role of government to redistribute income? Then you’re a greedy motherfucker with an “I got mine, you get yours” attitude! Do you honestly feel that private health care delivers a better and more immediate quality of health care than would a government-run system? Then you’re a heartless bastard who wants to see poor people dying in the street! Are you unconvinced about global warming and unsure whether it’s manmade or not, and whether if it is if we know what to do about it, and if it is and what we need to do about it will the rest of the world’s population go along and work to reduce it? Then you’re a greedy right-wing asshole more concered that industry make profits than about saving the world…either that or you’re just too stupid to understand the science. Are you middle-aged and decades away from school and completely divorced from the science involved in evolution? Then of course you’re just a stupid, backward, mouth-breathing knuckle-dragger! Wow am I ever late to the party, but I saw [this video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExzINsaq4LI&feature=player_embedded) on Fark today, and it reminded me of this post. Since this is a thread about evolution and conservatives, something’s been bugging me for the past week or so, since the [Christine O’Donnell](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/25/christine-odonnell-evolution-monkeys_n_739131.html) evolution denial video has been circulating. Didn’t Bill Maher and the others answer O’Donnell’s question incorrectly? If you’re going to be so worried about O’Donnell’s ignorance (and smug about your own intellectual superiority), shouldn’t you be able to answer her very simple question correctly? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/196 "2010-10-06T01:04:31Z")
> [@Cyningablod](#): > > Honestly, I don’t think **Starving Artist** is even smart enough to use _that_ old sorry excuse. Frankly, I can’t even tell _what_ the bloody fuck his point is,… That even his coding errors are someone else’s fault. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/197 "2010-10-06T01:07:48Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > And why are you suddenly limiting the discussion to people in a classroom. According to Kyla’s cite, we’re talking about anywhere from 37% to 68% of the population stating they don’t believe in evolution. Surely these numbers include a great many people years removed from the classroom. > > I know that makes it harder to call them stupid for not paying attention in class…but there it is. Not all (or even most) of these people are recent students. And like I said above, most don’t care one way or the other and hardly devoting themselves to studying it. Libs around here get hepped up about it because they think evolution helps them refute the Bible, and since the Bible and its adherents tend to be anti-gay, anti-drug and anti-single parent and anti-promiscuity - all lifestyles championed by “progressives” - it’s become very important to shout it to the rooftops. But the trouble is, most people don’t realize why you’re doing it, and since the question of evolution plays virtually no role in their lives, they pay scant attention to it. > > So here we are, where a small group of impassioned Dopers simply can’t believe so many people are ignorant about the vagaries of evolution, while those people themselves couldn’t care less. > > Oh, well, c’est la vie…as they say in one of those European countries you’re so inordinately fond of. I suspect that people are as ignorant of plate tectonics as they are of evolution. So how come there aren’t people yelling teach the controversy about isostasy (the theory prevalent when I took 8th grade Earth science)? It obviously has to do with right wing appeals to ignorant fundamentalist yahoos. Much as I’d love it to be true, most liberals are not atheists. We have conservatives too dumb or too scared to accept evolution, like Bush, or god-soaked, like Huckabee, or downright stupid, like Palin. The right keeps bringing it up. Why else the question in the Republican debate? Democrats don’t bring it up, so no question for them. (They’d all raise their hands accepting it, so big yawn.) ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/198 "2010-10-06T01:08:59Z")
> [@Dr.Love](#): > > > [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > > > For decades and decades the left has met conservatives and conservative philosophy, morals and lifestyle with scorn, ridicule, hatred and anger. Liberals are so convinced of the moral righteousness of their position, their intellectual superiority, and the stupidity and/or evil of anyone who disagrees with them, that they uttely cannot tolerate and don’t tolerate any sort of reasonable dialog. Do you have doubts as to the constitutionality of affirmative action or its consequences in the workplace? Then you’re a racist bigot! Do you dispute allegations that apart from reproduction, there is no difference between men and women whatsoever and no job exists that a man can do which a woman can’t? Then you’re a sexist bastard! Do you honestly feel that it is outside the proper role of government to redistribute income? Then you’re a greedy motherfucker with an “I got mine, you get yours” attitude! Do you honestly feel that private health care delivers a better and more immediate quality of health care than would a government-run system? Then you’re a heartless bastard who wants to see poor people dying in the street! Are you unconvinced about global warming and unsure whether it’s manmade or not, and whether if it is if we know what to do about it, and if it is and what we need to do about it will the rest of the world’s population go along and work to reduce it? Then you’re a greedy right-wing asshole more concered that industry make profits than about saving the world…either that or you’re just too stupid to understand the science. Are you middle-aged and decades away from school and completely divorced from the science involved in evolution? Then of course you’re just a stupid, backward, mouth-breathing knuckle-dragger! > > Wow am I ever late to the party, but I saw [this video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExzINsaq4LI&feature=player_embedded) on Fark today, and it reminded me of this post. > > Since this is a thread about evolution and conservatives, something’s been bugging me for the past week or so, since the [Christine O’Donnell](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/25/christine-odonnell-evolution-monkeys_n_739131.html) evolution denial video has been circulating. Didn’t Bill Maher and the others answer O’Donnell’s question incorrectly? If you’re going to be so worried about O’Donnell’s ignorance (and smug about your own intellectual superiority), shouldn’t you be able to answer her very simple question correctly? Here’s an easy question for you: why is a couch? Some questions are just so ridiculous they defy answers. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/199 "2010-10-06T01:10:07Z")
Lobohan: Correlation does not imply causation. In this thread I’m more impressed by your stupidity than his. Presumably he’s been conservative for a while. How do you connect his recent doubting of evolution with his longstanding conservative beliefs? An idiot such as yourself who arbitrarily assigns causative properties without evidence is much more astonishing in it’s vapidity than your FIL’s change of heart. Clearly it’s your liberalism that’s made you so stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977/200 "2010-10-06T01:11:24Z")
> [@Mr.Moto](#): > > First of all, it isn’t surprising that pertussis cases are showing up in vaccinated people in places like this - vaccination strength wanes over time (thus the need for boosters) and the overall “herd immunity” disappears when large numbers of people refuse to vaccinate or otherwise fail to do so. > > Secondly, you are wrong in another respect. My original cite shows that Boulder has low vaccination rates in 2002 - the lowest in Colorado. [This hasn’t changed:](http://www.broomfieldenterprise.com/ci_16014766?source=most_viewed) > > > [@](#): > > > > Boulder Valley School District has one of the lowest vaccination rates in Colorado, with only 60.4 percent of children in Boulder County receiving all the recommended vaccinations in 2007… > > [This subject is treated in considerable detail here.](http://motherjones.com/politics/2008/09/vaccine-skeptics-vs-your-kids) Note that the author (same author as the original Atlantic article and the author of a book on immunization) does link vaccination resistance to the wellness movement, among other things. It isn’t just restricted to a single school or educational movement, not by a long shot. I’d expect anti-vax is much more correlated to belief in alternative medicine than to any political philosophy. And, as far as I remember, no liberal Doper in anti anti-vax thread tried to excuse it by saying conservatives are just as bad for believing in creationism. If some reporter asked the Democratic candidates if they were opposed to vaccination, how many do you think would have said yes? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-conservative-stupid-making-machine/555977.md?page=11)