# Fuck You, Gay World!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [April 22, 2002, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930 "2002-04-22T04:46:07Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/21 "2002-04-22T19:20:29Z")

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First of all, thanks for the comforting, everyone. I was just so frustrated after two weekends of being completely ignored by anyone that was the slightest bit available (all of my friends (who don’t ignore me) seem to be involved).

**Esprix** , yeah, I do have alternative social outlets (or outlet, anyway), but it only happens every two months or so. And I’m in the middle of that down period. ☹ I want my Bearidise! Altoona doesn’t have much in the way of gay society outside of the bar.

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lizard \*  
> \*\*Posting to this thread makes me feel like a white guy in Harlem, but oh well…
> 
> To the OP, yeah there are definitely some bad, superficial people out there. From my (quite straight) perspective and limited knowlege of the Gay World, I always thought their dating scene differed in two ways from my own. One, it’s easier to get laid. No “not on the first date” bullshit, etc. Second, there is a community just like the one you describe, which has a list of what they want, and won’t associate or consider those who don’t have it.  
> I’m aware there is a straight version of this community, but it always seemed to me they were more easily identifiable and existed in larger numbers in the gay zone. That’s good, in a way. You can have some warning ahead of time. \*\*

True 'nuf. It is (within reason) easier to end up in bed with someone than it is in the straight world. If you look like Matt Damon. Given a self-selected population (as in the Bearidise bear party events I go to), you don’t even have to have that. But the dark side is that the picky twinks are the majority at the bars and clubs, which are the major social venues in this community.

_sigh_ Don’t nobody worry 'bout me, though. I’ve survived so far, and I’ll muddle through this bout of “I’m a shapeless, sexless blob” eventually.

jayjay (counting off the days till Memorial Day weekend)

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/22 "2002-04-22T19:24:32Z")

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**JayJay** : you are a sweetheart. No, you aren’t a 20-something blonde dance club twink and That Is A Good Thing! You are a swell guy, and in the Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations scheme of things, there is a plethora of men out there who want to shag you silly.

Have you checked out your local bear bars or bear clubs? You could also try Girth and Mirth, where you also would likely find eleigible bachelors. There are puh-lenty o’guys–me included–who appreciate a man with a hairy chest and some meat on his bones. I’m taken, by a guy with a build similar to yours, BTW, and I know there are other guys out there who would love to make you happy.

Yes, gay men can be fatheaded jerks–welcome to the human race.  
**Andygirl** :

> [@](#):
>
> I get to experience the joy of lesbian dating, and at the moment my options seem to be a somewhat flakey and confused straight girl and a bisexual who is into things that make me want to curl up and find a happy place.

Uh, what happened to **Quietgirl**? I thought you two were happily partnered.

**Esprix**

> [@](#):
>
> And as for the rest of you - STEP AWAY FROM THE QUEBECOIS! Mine! Mine! All mine! I’m rich! I’m wealthy! I’m a happy miser!

Warner Brothers will have their ninja lawyers over to talk to you about copyright infringement of Daffy Duck.

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/23 "2002-04-22T19:33:55Z")

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PS.

Let’s not be hard on “muscle marys,” thank-you-very-much. Just because some of us like to work out at the gym does not make us bad people. I like to think of myself as a musclebear-in-the making.

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**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/24 "2002-04-22T19:38:50Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by gobear \*  
> \*\ ***Andygirl** :
> 
> Uh, what happened to **Quietgirl**? I thought you two were happily partnered. \*\*

We celebrated our three year anniversary on the 13th this month.

Were I desiring to be involved in the campus lesbian dating scene, those two would be my options.

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/25 "2002-04-22T19:51:11Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by gobear \*  
> \*\*PS.
> 
> Let’s not be hard on “muscle marys,” thank-you-very-much. Just because some of us like to work out at the gym does not make us bad people. I like to think of myself as a musclebear-in-the making. \*\*

You’re a sweetie, too. I had to apologize to an LJ friend of mine who’s classic twink in looks and wardrobe (but who has an actual personality) because of my rant.

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**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/26 "2002-04-22T19:53:49Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by gobear \*  
> \*\*Let’s not be hard on “muscle marys,” thank-you-very-much. Just because some of us like to work out at the gym does not make us bad people. I like to think of myself as a musclebear-in-the making. \*\*

I know I made a comment about “muscle marys” as did another poster. I’ve nothing against anyone who works out. It’s just that I’m a skinny guy and muscles don’t do it for me. I like other skinny guys… So, bygones? 🙂

P.S. Do you wave your finger when you say “thank-you-very-much” like I do? 😉

- s.e.

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**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/27 "2002-04-22T20:49:39Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by andygirl \*  
> \*\*
> 
> We celebrated our three year anniversary on the 13th this month.
> 
> Were I desiring to be involved in the campus lesbian dating scene, those two would be my options. \*\*

Okay, I don’t like the taste in my mouth that came from writing that. It’s true but a little misleading. Jen and I are taking a break right now. All is well and I don’t want to run a Lifetime movie special. I also don’t want to talk about it here.

Carry on.

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/28 "2002-04-22T21:00:23Z")

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Well, I hope you don’t mind a small {{{{{Andygirl}}}}}.

And a {{{{{{{JayJay}}}}}}}} as well.

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**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/29 "2002-04-22T21:01:22Z")

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**Andygirl** , all I can say is that your life is your own – but if you ever want to talk this through with anybody, my understanding is that there are about several thousand gay teens and young adults across North America that owe you one. And if I can be any help in dealing with whatever it is, well, it’s not kosher to post one’s phone number here, but **Weirddave** , **RTFirefly** , and several others should have mine, and you’re welcome to call anytime.

**JayJay** , what the heck is a “LJ” friend? All I can think of is “Library Journal” – and while the mental picture that engenders, in context, is quite humorous, I’m fairly sure that’s not what you meant.

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/30 "2002-04-22T21:01:59Z")

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Well, I hope you don’t mind a small {{{{{Andygirl}}}}}.

And a {{{{{{{JayJay}}}}}}}} as well.

> [@](#):
>
> P.S. Do you wave your finger when you say “thank-you-very-much” like I do?

Yeah, plus I put a little neck English on it, too!

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/31 "2002-04-22T21:27:21Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Polycarp \*  
> \*\*JayJay, what the heck is a “LJ” friend? All I can think of is “Library Journal” – and while the mental picture that engenders, in context, is quite humorous, I’m fairly sure that’s not what you meant. \*\*

[LiveJournal](http://www.livejournal.com), a completely addictive blogging site that’s very popular. There’s even an [SDMB community](http://www.livejournal.com/community/sdmb/). There’s a link to my LJ in my sig. _points_ Down there. 🙂

jayjay

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**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/32 "2002-04-22T21:48:28Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by gobear \*  
> \*\*Well, I hope you don’t mind a small {{{{{Andygirl}}}}}.
> 
> And a {{{{{{{JayJay}}}}}}}} as well.  
> \*\*

Hey! What’s with all this hugging in the Pit?!

[sub]I want some, too.[/sub]

{{{{{{{JayJay}}}}}}}}  
{{{{{{{Andygirl}}}}}}}  
{{{{{{{gobear}}}}}}}}  
{{{{{{{Poly}}}}}}}}  
{{{{{{{scott evil}}}}}}}}  
{{{{{{{Esprix}}}}}}}}  
{{{{{{{Freyr}}}}}}}} (check your damn email, **Freyr** , or at least repond if you’ve read it.)  
{{{{{{{matt}}}}}}}}

Anybody else want some?

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**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/33 "2002-04-22T22:00:46Z")

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OK, I’m going to play Devil’s Advocate, 'cause I’m just that kind of guy.

**jayjay** , are you frustrated because they’re so vapid and self-centered, or are you frustrated because you find them physically attractive and they don’t feel the same about you? Is this all just sour grapes? (Mind you, I’m not saying you don’t have a point - God knows I’ve met many of the kind of which you speak online and out at the clubs. But at the same time, I’m not above admitting I find a whole lot of those vapid, self-centered, twinkie muscle boys amazingly attractive - despite the fact that they are vapid and self-centered. We’re just talking looks, and that’s what we show off at a club; if I want friends, I have other means of doing so.)

A thin line to walk, but I’m curious which way you’re leaning on it.

Esprix

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/34 "2002-04-22T22:09:37Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Esprix \*  
> \*\*OK, I’m going to play Devil’s Advocate, 'cause I’m just that kind of guy.
> 
> **jayjay** , are you frustrated because they’re so vapid and self-centered, or are you frustrated because you find them physically attractive and they don’t feel the same about you? Is this all just sour grapes? (Mind you, I’m not saying you don’t have a point - God knows I’ve met many of the kind of which you speak online and out at the clubs. But at the same time, I’m not above admitting I find a whole lot of those vapid, self-centered, twinkie muscle boys amazingly attractive - despite the fact that they are vapid and self-centered. We’re just talking looks, and that’s what we show off at a club; if I want friends, I have other means of doing so.)
> 
> A thin line to walk, but I’m curious which way you’re leaning on it.
> 
> Esprix \*\*

I’m frustrated because I’m trying to sustain a heightened sense of self-worth (to get away from the shapeless blob attitude), which I’ve been working on for almost a year and have actually, most of the time, gotten hammered out, and it’s very hard to maintain that sense of self-worth when nobody even sees you.

The rant was mostly frustration. I don’t **really** want to see anybody getting laid by lava, but it’s so utterly illogical that someone as big as I am is invisible! I’d almost rather have them catch sight of me and gasp in disgust and horror than have them totally ignore me. It’s like I’m not even there.

_sigh_ I’m **going** to be all right on this. By Friday, I’ll get my equilibrium back. At the end of May, I have a Bearidise, where I can recharge my self-esteem batteries, and in the meantime, I **will** be losing some weight this time.

jayjay

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**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/35 "2002-04-22T22:32:19Z")

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Ok… slight hijack… but… well… I’m gay too, and I posted here, and I’m not getting hugged. I swear, I’m gonna get a complex.

Back to your thread, already in progress.

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/36 "2002-04-22T22:35:40Z")

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Sure. Leave it to the homosexuals to start a hugfest in the fuckin’ Pit. 😉

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**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/37 "2002-04-22T22:44:27Z")

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{{{{{{Hastur}}}}}}}  
{{{{{{Coldfire}}}}}}}

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**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/38 "2002-04-22T22:58:35Z")

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Geez, somebody hug **Homebrew** already!

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**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/39 "2002-04-22T23:39:15Z")

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**taking frantic notes**

Man, I’m learning all sorts of festive vocabulary words from this thread! It’ll be useful whenever I get somewhere that _has_ a gay dating scene.

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**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-gay-world/104930/40 "2002-04-22T23:49:39Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jayjay \*  
> _points_ Down there. 🙂
> 
> jayjay

Oh, honey, you don’t need to point. We all remember where it is;)

And {{{matt}}}, {{{andygirl}}}, and {{{jayjay}}}, just because I can. Won’t even try to pick any of y’all up:)

[sub]Why is it that every thread where a majority of the posters are gay ends up in a lovefest?:D[/sub]

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