# Fuck You, Girlfriend's Brother

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [December 30, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586 "2012-12-30T19:17:55Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 8

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**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/141 "2013-01-02T11:30:14Z")

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> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#):
>
> Naw, I actually saw the texts on her phone.

I wouldn’t dream of reading my girlfriends text messages.

But then, I am not a child and so I also wouldn’t dream of hanging around her parents house playing computer games all day either.

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**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/142 "2013-01-02T11:44:55Z")

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> [@al27052](#):
>
> First off, I wasn’t _addressing_ you. And secondly, John Mace’s post seemed to indicate he thinks that the OP should be completely self-supporting

Uh, no. You plucked that out of thin air. There’s a whole lotta space between being a “freeloading guest” (my statement) and being “completely self-supporting” (your inference).

But keep digging. I’m sure you’ll get out of that hole you’re stuck in eventually!

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**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/143 "2013-01-02T11:49:40Z")

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> [@Muffin](#):
>
> Kinky. Very kinky, given that they are fucking like bunnies.

Mom and daughter sharing the old joystick?:eek:

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**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/144 "2013-01-02T11:50:46Z")

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> [@bucketybuck](#):
>
> But then, I am not a child and so I also wouldn’t dream of hanging around her parents house playing computer games all day either.

I think we need to give the OP a bit of a break, just because he IS young. However, that doesn’t mean that he should disregard the **Very Good Advice** he has been given here either.

**BPCadet** , you might not appreciate it yet, but as has been mentioned many times upthread, your very presence in your girlfriend’s household is disruptive. Her mum and brother (regardless of whatever crap he has written about you) are undoubtedly uncomfortable about you being there weekend after weekend.

You admit yourself that you are an ‘unengaging’ partner…so what do you actually DO there on the weekends? Monopolize the TV to play games, ignoring your gf and her family while you wheedle away? Then you get ‘shooed’ out of the loungeroom…and off to the bedroom you go??

Seriously dude, get a good grip. You are majorly impinging on the personal space of this crew, girlfriend and her mum and bro alike. You are costing the family financially and psychologically in ways that you probably won’t appreciate until you are old and feeble like the rest of us.

NOBODY wants ‘visitors’ who arrive constantly and rarely go home. NOBODY wants ‘visitors’ who don’t pitch in with the cooking or cleaning or other chores. NOBODY wants the invasion of their previously well-organised personal-space that you have chosen to ignore. But you’re just a kid, and we understand that you haven’t yet developed the ability to get the subtle signals that people throw out to let you know you’ve overstepped those boundaries.

But we’re letting you know right here that you really have committed a major faux-pas. Your gf’s mum is a lady of class it seems, because she hasn’t beaten your brains out yet. And the bro can’t be too bad because he hasn’t either!

Take a wee bit of advice, and read all the posts before this to understand why you might not qualify for Empathic Dude of the Year. Come back with pie.

🙂

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**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/145 "2013-01-02T12:50:34Z")

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> [@bucketybuck](#):
>
> But then, I am not a child and so I also wouldn’t dream of hanging around her parents house playing computer games all day either.

To be fair, he is not hanging around her parent’s house playing computer games all day. He is also contributing to the household by fucking her while hanging about her parent’s house.

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**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/146 "2013-01-02T14:08:50Z")

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> [@Blackberry](#):
>
> I was going to say that but then I thought I probably sound antisocial enough as it is. But yeah. I wouldn’t want my favorite person in the world (2pac) at my house all weekend every weekend. By Sunday morning I’d be like, “Well, I have to wash my hair or something so you should probably be getting on”.

I wouldn’t want a rapist in my house at all.

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**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/147 "2013-01-02T15:02:03Z")

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> [@Muffin](#):
>
> Kinky. Very kinky, given that they are fucking like bunnies.

Fucking like air-conditioned bunnies?

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**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/148 "2013-01-02T15:03:02Z")

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What wrong with rape music?

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**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/149 "2013-01-02T15:10:56Z")

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> [@AClockworkMelon](#):
>
> Fucking like air-conditioned bunnies?

Probably not, given that it’s Germany in the middle of winter.

That’s why i wonder why you people even bother to respond. You clearly don’t actually read the OP’s posts, you just Dr.-Phil it up and move on.

I mean, several of you are suggesting outdoor activities. REALLY? I don’t even feel like flaming or mocking that, it’s too completely off-base.

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**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/150 "2013-01-02T15:19:14Z")

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> [@al27052](#):
>
> Probably not, given that it’s Germany in the middle of winter.
> 
> That’s why i wonder why you people even bother to respond. You clearly don’t actually read the OP’s posts, you just Dr.-Phil it up and move on.
> 
> I mean, several of you are suggesting outdoor activities. REALLY? I don’t even feel like flaming or mocking that, it’s too completely off-base.

Have you ever been to Germany? To Bavaria? You think people there just huddle inside during the winter? Hah! Did _you_ read the part about him riding his bike where he needs to go, and how that’s perfectly normal?

Keep digging, though! It’s actually kind of fun to watch.

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**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/151 "2013-01-02T15:35:03Z")

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I’ve been following this thread, and have read \*\*BPC’s \*\*other posts regarding his romantic life on these boards, I just have to ask… How do y’all not know when you’re being trolled?

And **al27052** … You keep calling people “Dr. Phil” as if it’s the grandest of all insults. Did he rape your grandmother or something?

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**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/152 "2013-01-02T15:44:55Z")

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> [@al27052](#):
>
> OK, grandpa.
> 
> Seriously, dude, I’m about to ask you if you need me to get off your lawn. ROFL
> 
> I mean, do you really, DR. PHIL, expect a 19-year-old who’s in college to fully support himself?

I don’t know that I would expect him to or not. But at the end of the day, if it isn’t my 19 year old, I don’t want to be the one to support him.

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**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/153 "2013-01-02T15:46:34Z")

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> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> And **al27052** … You keep calling people “Dr. Phil” as if it’s the grandest of all insults. Did he rape your grandmother or something?

No, no. _Grandpa_ is the greatest of insults. Evidently, only grandparents don’t like invasive mooches.

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**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/154 "2013-01-02T15:56:16Z")

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> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> I’ve been following this thread, and have read \*\*BPC’s \*\*other posts regarding his romantic life on these boards, I just have to ask… How do y’all not know when you’re being trolled?
> 
> And **al27052** … You keep calling people “Dr. Phil” as if it’s the grandest of all insults. Did he rape your grandmother or something?

Have you not watched his show?

ROFL

But seriously, Dr. Phil, while actually (IMHO) an intelligent, insightful guy, is forced, for various reasons, to repeat stupid catchphrases, harp on flaws in a self-promoting way, and generally troll his guests _hard_. The biggest bit of trolling he does is to mercilessly attack people who don’t work, or don’t work full-time. I honestly don’t know what he would do with someone who was wealthy through an inheritance. He might need medical attention or something.

I use it generally to refer to people who give overly-general, superficial, “helpful” advice to people who can’t easily take the advice, because of their situations. Such people I find tiresome, because it’s pretty trolly, and what they want is to look good for giving advice, and/or look like a martyr when the advisee gets pissed off at the worthlessness of their advice. What they DON’T want is to

1. think hard about good advice that is _situation-specific_

2. risk going against the group by giving advice that may not be popular WITH the group

And what happened in this case is that the OP is getting shat upon by a bunch of fat, out-of-shape, hate-filled internet trolls. Not everyone in the thread is doing that, but several are. I wouldn’t mind as much, but the kid is young, and it’s not necessary to do that to young people.

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**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/155 "2013-01-02T15:59:25Z")

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Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining, **al27052**.

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**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/156 "2013-01-02T16:01:45Z")

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> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> Have you ever been to Germany? To Bavaria? You think people there just huddle inside during the winter? Hah! Did _you_ read the part about him riding his bike where he needs to go, and how that’s perfectly normal?
> 
> Keep digging, though! It’s actually kind of fun to watch.

IIRC, he was advised to make outdoor activities the majority of his day, by more than one poster.

I personally would not be interested in spending most of the day outside in the winter around here, even though I do go for walks. I doubt Bavaria is any more comfortable at this time of year.

Just admit the the massive trolling this kid is receiving. It’d make you look more sincere.

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**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/157 "2013-01-02T16:04:34Z")

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> [@Blackberry](#):
>
> Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining, **al27052**.

Yes, exactly.

Judge Judy does this shit, too. I believe judge Mablean Ephraim did this too, on Divorce Court.

Sometimes I wonder how much effort TV executives put into making sure the message of “get a job” appears on daytime TV. It seems a lot, sometimes. I also honestly wonder how high up the conspiracy to do this goes. ROFL

GET A JOB!!!

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**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/158 "2013-01-02T16:12:20Z")

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Fair’s fair, you’re right about that. Dr. Phil and his pat, folksy wisdom gets tiring.

\*\*BPC \*\*is still trippin though.

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**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/159 "2013-01-02T16:15:42Z")

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> [@Blackberry](#):
>
> Fair’s fair, you’re right about that. Dr. Phil and his pat, folksy wisdom gets tiring.
> 
> \*\*BPC \*\*is still trippin though.

I agree that the OP is being clueless by not chipping in on food/gas. Personally, unless the girlfriend were really awesome in other ways, I’d leave this little drama alone and find another girlfriend who lived closer by, and was ALSO in college.

However, she may be awesome.

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**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/160 "2013-01-02T16:38:47Z")

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> [@al27052](#):
>
> I use it generally to refer to people who give overly-general, superficial, “helpful” advice to people who can’t easily take the advice, because of their situations.

This is the advice people are giving:

Stop mooching off your girlfriend’s mom, for rides, for meals, for use of her home.

Which part of that is he unable to easily take?

> [@](#):
>
> I agree that the OP is being clueless by not chipping in on food/gas.

Even “chipping in” on food or gas is good only for a situation that happens occasionally or infrequently, not every damn weekend.

And what is it with this “grandpa” stuff? What does age have to do with this?

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