# Fuck You, Girlfriend's Brother **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 30, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586 "2012-12-30T19:17:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/161 "2013-01-02T16:40:23Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > …may be awesome. I’m not sure anyone here is. I’m betting the Total Awesomeness Quotient of this whole scenario is pretty low… ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/162 "2013-01-02T16:46:11Z")
> [@digs](#): > > I’m not sure anyone here is. > > I’m betting the Total Awesomeness Quotient of this whole scenario is pretty low… What if she’s intelligent, beautiful, kind, loyal, loves sex, etc.? Yeah, I know, _highly_ unlikely. ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/163 "2013-01-02T16:47:38Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > Naw, I actually saw the texts on her phone. All the other questions, comments and suggestions that have gone on since you last replied and that’s what you choose to comment on? :dubious: Is any of this even getting through or are you still convinced the big bad brother is the cause of all your woes? ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/164 "2013-01-02T16:48:08Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > This is the advice people are giving: > > Stop mooching off your girlfriend’s mom, for rides, for meals, for use of her home. > > Which part of that is he unable to easily take? > > Even “chipping in” on food or gas is good only for a situation that happens occasionally or infrequently, not every damn weekend. > > And what is it with this “grandpa” stuff? What does age have to do with this? the OP hasn’t even told us if he already chips in, or not. He may already be doing so. If he’s not, then he should at least be offering regularly, and/or offering to prepare meals, wash dishes, etc.. The “grandpa” cracks are because I find it hilarious that so many posters get so heated about the fact of the kids having sex. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/165 "2013-01-02T16:49:14Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > All the other questions, comments and suggestions that have gone on since you last replied and that’s what you choose to comment on? :dubious: Is any of this even getting through or are you still convinced the big bad brother is the cause of all your woes? He was more complaining about how the brother treats his family, than about how he makes the OP’s life harder. Reread the first post. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/166 "2013-01-02T16:49:47Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > What if she’s intelligent, beautiful, kind, loyal, loves sex, etc.? > > Yeah, I know, _highly_ unlikely. Those qualities are hard to find in a grown-up man or woman, let alone a 17-year old. At best, she’s pretty and likes to fuck - but likely just the last thing. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/167 "2013-01-02T16:55:02Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > I agree that the OP is being clueless by not chipping in on food/gas. No. He’s not clueless. He’s taking advantage and he knows it. He’s causing problems and he refuses to see it, he just wants to get his fuck on. BPC has described four screwy relationships in the short time he’s been on this board. This girl isn’t the love of his life, or even the love of his year. Her family will survive his intrusion into their lives, but they won’t miss him when he’s gone, and it’s certain that they aren’t better off for having him in their lives. > [@](#): > > Personally, unless the girlfriend were really awesome in other ways, I’d leave this little drama alone and find another girlfriend who lived closer by, and was ALSO in college. That’s the only sensible comment you’ve made in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/168 "2013-01-02T16:55:13Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Those qualities are hard to find in a grown-up man or woman, let alone a 17-year old. I did internet dating on and off for 5 years before I found my current wife. So yeah, believe me, I know. You never know, though. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/169 "2013-01-02T16:55:48Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > I use it generally to refer to people who give overly-general, superficial, “helpful” advice to people who can’t easily take the advice, because of their situations. Such people I find tiresome, because it’s pretty trolly, and what they want is to look good for giving advice, and/or look like a martyr when the advisee gets pissed off at the worthlessness of their advice. What they DON’T want is to > > 1. think hard about good advice that is _situation-specific_ > > 2. risk going against the group by giving advice that may not be popular WITH the group > > And what happened in this case is that the OP is getting shat upon by a bunch of fat, out-of-shape, hate-filled internet trolls. Not everyone in the thread is doing that, but several are. I wouldn’t mind as much, but the kid is young, and it’s not necessary to do that to young people. In this particular case, I haven’t heard much advice that isn’t situation specific. I’m not going to get into the car argument as I would imagine that very few students in Munich have cars, but I think that spending every weekend at your girlfriend’s parent’s house is way too much. I can’t imagine that any parent would be happy to have an extra mouth and an extra person around the house every weekend, especially one who is hogging the living room TV playing video games all fucking weekend. Once in a while is fine, but every weekend? Hell no? Assuming also, that the living space in question isn’t a large American style house with a lot of space, then it makes the intrusion even worse. I’ve had family who I love stay with me in my place which is small. After a while, it gets to be a giant pain since you have far less privacy. If it were a non family member, who just sits on the couch playing video games and not interacting. He’d be out after a day or two and not allowed over night visits. Part of being a grown up is realizing that people generally don’t have to put up with your shit. If the OP wants to make this work, then he is going to have to figure out something else, because the girlfriend’s mom is going to put her foot down. Brother may be a dumbass, but he has a right to not have an extra person crowding up his living space every weekend. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/170 "2013-01-02T16:57:26Z")
See, and \*\*BPC \*\*casts a wide net. Out of all females age 14-48 there should be at least a couple in a more compatible situation to his. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/171 "2013-01-02T16:58:26Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > No. He’s not clueless. He’s taking advantage and he knows it. He’s causing problems and he refuses to see it, he just wants to get his fuck on. > > BPC has described four screwy relationships in the short time he’s been on this board. This girl isn’t the love of his life, or even the love of his year. Her family will survive his intrusion into their lives, but they won’t miss him when he’s gone, and it’s certain that they aren’t better off for having him in their lives. > > That’s the only sensible comment you’ve made in this thread. I would bet that the sister AND the mother would gladly trade in their brother/son for the OP, if they could. The brother sounds mentally unstable. It’s not like I’m the OP’s champion or anything, but at least this is a step up from the situation with the underage mentally-disabled girl. Sort of. Actually, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/172 "2013-01-02T17:03:51Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > It’s not like I’m the OP’s champion or anything You had me fooled. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/173 "2013-01-02T17:06:57Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > The brother sounds mentally unstable. It would be more accurate to say, “the brother, _as described by the freeloader who is fucking his sister_, sounds mentally unstable”. Amiright? ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/174 "2013-01-02T17:09:26Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > It would be more accurate to say, “the brother, _as described by the freeloader who is fucking his sister_, sounds mentally unstable”. > > Amiright? No, you’re NOT right. the OP sounds, so far as I can honestly tell, truly distressed at how the brother treats his family. You sound like someone who is intentionally looking at the OP in the worst possible light, for your own reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/175 "2013-01-02T17:10:03Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > It would be more accurate to say, “the brother, _as described by the freeloader who is fucking his sister_, sounds mentally unstable”. > > Amiright? UR. But probably they all have a screw or two loose. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/176 "2013-01-02T17:46:24Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > No, you’re NOT right. the OP sounds, so far as I can honestly tell, truly distressed at how the brother treats his family. If he was truly distressed, the subject of the thread would be “What can I do to help my girlfriend and her family?” And the responses would have been the same. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/177 "2013-01-02T17:51:04Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > If he was truly distressed, the subject of the thread would be “What can I do to help my girlfriend and her family?” > > And the responses would have been the same. Even if the brother is trying to get the OP to change his behavior, he’s doing more harm than good. If the brother had any perspective or life experience, he’d realize that this relationship is most likely to be very fleeting, and simply wait it out. My guess is that the mother recognizes the likely-short nature of the relationship, and isn’t gong to bother getting too worked up about something so short-lived. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/178 "2013-01-02T18:08:51Z")
The same could be said of the OP. This relationship isn’t going to last, so why add stress to the family? BPC will walk away soon. Girlfriend, brother, and mom will be dealing with the aftermath. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/179 "2013-01-02T18:12:56Z")
It’s none of the OP’s business what the brother might or might not be doing with his life, because _it’s not his family and it’s not his house_. No matter how awful this brother might be, he’s still in the right, because _it’s his house_, and until something happens to change that situation, it’s a trump card. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586/180 "2013-01-02T18:13:26Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > The same could be said of the OP. This relationship isn’t going to last, so why add stress to the family? BPC will walk away soon. Girlfriend, brother, and mom will be dealing with the aftermath. The brother is crazy as shit anyway. HE’S the one that needs some interests outside the home. The OP is at least interacting with the world. The brother is just a fat, unstable, beta male who will probably never get laid, or live outside his mother’s home. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-girlfriends-brother/645586.md?page=10)