# Fuck you, phantom shitter **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2002, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053 "2002-07-15T14:03:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/21 "2003-06-18T09:56:28Z")
Maybe he’s like Lassie or The Littlest Hobbo. Travels around Ireland with a horrible theme tune following him shitting in areas where people in need of help smoke? What? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/22 "2003-06-18T09:59:19Z")
I think it’s jjimm, and he’s just trying to cover his tracks. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/23 "2003-06-18T10:00:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally said by yojimbo, while outside **jjimm’s** office at 2am this morning \* > Jaysus that’s some case of constipation. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/24 "2003-06-18T10:21:56Z")
\*There’s a voice, That keeps on calling me. Down that road, Is where I’ll always be. Every stop I make, I’ll make a new friend. Can’t stay for long, just take a dump and I’m gone again. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll wanna use a loo, Until tomorrow, I’ll just keep moving on.\* ---
**Author:** ![mallocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f4b2a3/32.png) [@mallocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mallocks)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/25 "2003-06-18T12:20:05Z")
and then I thought ‘what’s all this about 1000 posts, surely he already has 5000?’ And then I saw that the original post was 11 months ago… odd. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/26 "2003-06-18T12:29:18Z")
Yeah, I seem to have spunked more than 4,000 posts in the last 11 months. Not quite to **Q.E.D.'s** standard of proliferation, but clearly an indication that I could be doing something better with my time. All full of sound and fury and signifying nothing… Anyway, the perp again brought his own toilet paper, and did the plop in exactly the same place, except this time the bog roll was put on top of a drain. I haven’t touched it, by the way. Since the two poos were just about a year apart, I’m wondering if this was some tramply migration, as in Orwell’s _Down and Out in Paris and London_. I’m also thinking what manner of animal are we that don’t bury our own turds? ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/27 "2003-06-18T12:46:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yojimbo \* > \*\*Jaysus that’s some case of constipation. \*\* i nearly fell off my chair laughing. 😃 maybe he should get some antibiotics - that’ll give him the runs. I know that’s what it does to me ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/28 "2003-06-18T13:56:30Z")
I bet it’s symbolic. Perhaps a sacked former employee taking some nasty form of revenge every year? ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/29 "2003-06-18T14:07:42Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\* I haven’t touched it, by the way._\* And yet there are those who say that school learnin’ doesn’t translate into street smarts! Way to go, **jjimm**! ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/30 "2003-06-18T14:09:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yojimbo \* > \*\*Jaysus that’s some case of constipation. \*\* That’s fucking hilarious I almost crapped m… uhh, we’ll just leave it at that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/31 "2003-06-18T14:17:08Z")
Have you tried lighting it yet? Maybe it’s one o them cigar doohickeys. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/32 "2003-06-18T14:36:03Z")
Are you suggesting that turds are migratory? ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/33 "2003-06-18T14:48:06Z")
Why not take a sample of the evidence and have some DNA tests run on it? This might help find out who’s responsible. Or, take pictures of it and submit it to ratemypoo dot com (not linked since I wouldn’t really consider this to be a work-safe site). ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/34 "2003-06-18T15:04:42Z")
I say you just kick it to the kerb, then wash your tennis shoes. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/35 "2003-06-18T15:21:16Z")
I think this has the makings of a film, perhaps in a Blair Witch style. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/36 "2003-06-18T15:21:23Z")
You might check the sides of some milk cartons to make sure it’s not a missing turd. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/37 "2003-06-18T16:27:00Z")
Funny thread! At first I thought somebody’d read [this story](http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&threadm=3ab7ad4e.2699940%40news.cis.dfn.de&rnum=1&prev=/groups%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26oe%3DUTF-8%26q%3Dshitter%2Bcarrollton%26sa%3DN%26tab%3Dwg) and was commenting. ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/38 "2003-06-18T16:27:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*Are you suggesting that turds are migratory? \*\* only when they climb back up your leg. it means they’re homesick 😃 again, couldn’t resist. i’m in a cheeky monkey mood today heheh ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/39 "2003-06-18T16:30:34Z")
My friend Mandy discovered rogue poo on her hand one day, she thought it was chocolate… ahhh, brings a tear to my eye does that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@Fin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fin_man)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/40 "2003-06-18T16:55:17Z")
This thread should be renamed “Scooby **Doo** and the Case of the Phantom Shitter”. Sorry, nothing more to post here but I thought this was very funny (but it probably isn’t). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053.md?page=3)