# Fuck you, phantom shitter **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2002, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053 "2002-07-15T14:03:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/41 "2003-06-18T18:12:50Z")
So… I took a picture. Do you dare me to post a link? ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/42 "2003-06-18T18:20:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gary Kumquat \* > \*\*I think it’s jjimm, and he’s just trying to cover his tracks. \*\* Holy crap! [Good instinkts!](http://jjimm.wasarrested.com/ps/dublin/Ireland) 😃 Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/43 "2003-06-18T18:26:23Z")
[Mick Jagger voice] _I’m a shat turd!_ [/Mick Jagger voice] ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/44 "2003-06-18T18:47:13Z")
Hmm, that sounds like a confession! “shat-turd all over Manhattan” was another line from that song… _Digs around_ [When questioned he said he had finally found satisfaction.](http://Mick.Jagger.wasarrested.com/ps/Manhattan/NY) Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/45 "2003-06-18T18:53:03Z")
Hee hee, that is really fucking funny. ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/46 "2003-06-18T18:54:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > Are you suggesting that turds are migratory? Ah! [Turdus migratorius](http://www.nature.net/birds/turdus_migratorius.html); a sure sign of spring! ---
**Author:** ![Salieri2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Salieri2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salieri2)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/47 "2003-06-18T19:21:23Z")
Oh, man… This is the funniest thing I’ve read since **Anal Scurvy** ’s enema thread, when he was [determined to defeat his anus](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=183525&highlight=enema). Why are poop jokes always, always funny? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/48 "2003-06-18T19:47:14Z")
I know it’s tough but sometimes you just have to let these turds go find their own way. If it doesn’t come back then it’s likely it never really loved you in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/49 "2003-06-18T20:02:44Z")
As freakin’ hysterical as the OP is, I mainly popped in to read **lieu’s** (or would that be “loo”??) inevitable posts. For some reason, I just had a feeling he’d find his way here…I guess I’m just psychic that way… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/50 "2003-06-18T23:17:33Z")
I was drawn to this thread like a moth to flame. You see when I was in college we had a rash of phantom shittings. There was a to this day unkown person who would enter the women’s bathroom and carefully squeeze out a turd on the toilet seat. The debate over the identity of the phantom shitter became an obsession. Was it a girl? a guy? That creepy RA. I would still give anything to know. And please do post the picture. We are not afraid! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/51 "2003-06-19T00:10:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tir Tinuviel \* > **rogue poo** **Rogue Poo and the Phantom Shitters** , opening tonight for **The Annual Migratory Turds**! Good lord, this thread is a hoot. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/52 "2003-06-19T07:57:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fruitbat \* > \*\*And please do post the picture. We are not afraid! \*\* Bwa ha ha haa, somebody tempted me. OK, you asked for it - [ta daaa](http://www.crowaptok.com/images/al_fresco_poo.jpg). Unfortunately (or rather mercifully) the quality of the turd picture is somewhat low due to poor lighting conditions. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/53 "2003-06-19T08:08:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mtgman \* > **Holy crap! [Good instinkts!](http://jjimm.wasarrested.com/ps/dublin/Ireland)** Ooh, fun to be had with that site. Which colleague to annoy first? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/54 "2003-06-19T08:21:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gary Kumquat \* > \*\*Ooh, fun to be had with that site. Which colleague to annoy first? \*\* I think you’ll also appreciate the angry emails (in some cases from lawyers) the dude received from people who couldn’t get the concept of dynamically generated site content and variable subdomains. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/55 "2003-06-19T09:45:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Bwa ha ha haa, somebody tempted me. > > OK, you asked for it - [ta daaa](http://www.crowaptok.com/images/al_fresco_poo.jpg). Unfortunately (or rather mercifully) the quality of the turd picture is somewhat low due to poor lighting conditions. \*\* Nope. While I might be thick sometimes, even I know well enuff not to click on a link like that. Ahhhh…ignorance is bliss. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/56 "2003-06-19T13:33:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Unfortunately (or rather mercifully) the quality of the turd picture is somewhat low due to poor lighting conditions. You know, this is pretty much the first time I’ve ever seen a disclaimer like this. ---
**Author:** ![Rudy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Rudy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rudy)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/57 "2003-06-19T13:48:50Z")
This has me in stiches. I just remembered my own encounter with a phantom shitter… I was in sixth or seventh grade, it must have been at the end of the year. For some reason they called all the boys in my grade to the cafeteria while all the girls went to the gym to play. The teachers had us sit down and started asking us if we knew who did it (no one even knew what the creepy math guy was taking about). Finally some brave soul raised his hand and asked what was it that the unknown person did. And to my utter amazment, our sixth grade math teacher said to the student body gathered before him, “someone shit on the bathroom floor.” (first time I had ever heard a teacher cuss, it was great) Of course they never found out who did it, we all had our guesses. I guess it was a pretty substancial amount of shit, it stained the bathroom floor and since it was left exposed, stunk up the hall way. I will always remember my encounter with that damn phantom shitter ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/58 "2003-06-19T16:18:01Z")
Maybe the Phanton Shitter was trying to leave a message to you, Rudy. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/59 "2003-06-19T18:09:49Z")
In shite he sang to me In doo, he came That stench which wafts to me And stinks, my name. And do I breathe again For now I find The Phantom of the Outhouse is here Inside my nose He’s there… The phantom of the outhouse he’s there… The phantom of the outhouse EWWW EW EW EW EWWW EWWWWWWWW EW EW EWWWWWW Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053/60 "2003-06-19T19:23:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\ ***Rogue Poo and the Phantom Shitters** , opening tonight for **The Annual Migratory Turds**! > > Good lord, this thread is a hoot. 🙂 \*\* oh oh oooooooh! I got a band name quote from **Coldie**! Ok, my life is complete now… thankiee muchlee! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-phantom-shitter/119053.md?page=4)