# Fuck you, Popular Science, with a barbed-wire encrusted dildo (telemarketer rant, mil
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-popular-science-with-a-barbed-wire-encrusted-dildo-telemarketer-rant-mil/191792
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [July 30, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-popular-science-with-a-barbed-wire-encrusted-dildo-telemarketer-rant-mil/191792 "2003-07-30T00:43:44Z")
**Posts on this page:** 7
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-popular-science-with-a-barbed-wire-encrusted-dildo-telemarketer-rant-mil/191792/1 "2003-07-30T00:43:44Z")
Last year I had a subscription to _Popular Science_. I think I’d gotten it through the child of a friend of Mrs. Blue Sky, I don’t recall exactly. It was at some ridiculously low rate, something like $7.95 for a year.
I let the subscription run out earlier this year, because, let’s face it, the magazine ain’t what it used to be.
In the past six months, I have gotten no less than 12 calls from some company called “Dial America” trying to get me to renew. I tell them time and time again that I’m not interested and would they please remove my name from their calling lists. Obviously, they aren’t doing it. I tell each subsequent dumbass the name of the previous dumbass who promised to take me off the list and, gasp!, there’s no record of it!
[sarcasm on]Imagine my surprise![sarcasm off]
Just last week they call and I give “Steve” an earful. He absolutely promises he will remove my name from their lists.
Tonight, guess who calls? Yep, Dial America trying to get me to renew. It goes a little something like this:
Asshole: I’m calling from Dial America representing Popular Sci…
MBS: I have told your company at least 15 times this year that I’m not interested and yet you continue to call. I have asked repeatedly for my name to be removed from your list and yet you continue to call me. Every time you say the same thing, “We don’t have a record of that”
Asshole: Well I don’t have a record of that otherwise I wouldn’t be calling you now. Did you you get the person’s name?
MBS: Why? It obviously doesn’t matter who I tell because they aren’t doing what I ask.
Asshole: Well, I’ll take your name off now.
MBS: You do that. The next time I won’t be so nice.
To that telemarketer and any other who may be reading this:
I DON’T GIVE A RED HOT FUCK IF YOU LOSE YOUR JOB COME OCTOBER 1st. YOU CAN FUCKING ROT IN THE FUCKING GUTTER FOR ALL I CARE. YOU DON’T LISTEN. YOU LIE. YOU DON’T HAVE AN INTERNAL “DO NOT CALL” AND DON’T FUCKING TELL ME OTHERWISE.
And to _Popular Science_: I WOULDN’T TAKE YOUR FUCKING RAG IF IT CAME WITH A BLOWJOB WITH EVERY FUCKING PAGE. DIE YOU SHIT-SUCKING BASTARDS!
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### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-popular-science-with-a-barbed-wire-encrusted-dildo-telemarketer-rant-mil/191792/2 "2003-07-30T00:45:06Z")
:smack:
Title ran too long. Should read …telemarketer rant, mild…
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### Author:  [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-popular-science-with-a-barbed-wire-encrusted-dildo-telemarketer-rant-mil/191792/3 "2003-07-30T01:05:33Z")
That would make a GREAT sig
> [@](#):
>
> I WOULDN’T TAKE YOUR FUCKING RAG IF IT CAME WITH A BLOWJOB WITH EVERY FUCKING PAGE. DIE YOU SHIT-SUCKING BASTARDS!
Anyway, isn’t there some way to sue if they don’t take you off the lists and keep calling? I know how you feel with this. I’ve lately been getting the recorded message telemarketers- you can’t even tell them to take you off! I thought those were illegal, too.
What a pain in the nards.
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### Author:  [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2003, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-popular-science-with-a-barbed-wire-encrusted-dildo-telemarketer-rant-mil/191792/4 "2003-07-30T12:18:05Z")
Sheesh.
Or get them to use a razor-wire encrusted dildo, with barbs, it`ll do way more damage.
A blow-job with every page, for only $7.95?, for a whole year?, where do I sign up?
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### Author:  [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-popular-science-with-a-barbed-wire-encrusted-dildo-telemarketer-rant-mil/191792/5 "2003-07-30T12:21:44Z")
Ugh. Dial America…a girl I used to work with had a dad who’s a VP for them. She spent a summer working for daddy and writing stuff for them to say in front of Congress when the do-not-call list was being considered.
Pure evil. Fucking Dial America.
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### Author:  [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-popular-science-with-a-barbed-wire-encrusted-dildo-telemarketer-rant-mil/191792/6 "2003-07-30T15:06:09Z")
Uh, doesn’t that violate telecommunication codes? Unless they’re a charity and/or you’re a business…if you’re feeling really aggravated, you could drag them into small claims court for it. 😃
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### Author:  [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-popular-science-with-a-barbed-wire-encrusted-dildo-telemarketer-rant-mil/191792/7 "2003-07-30T15:20:25Z")
Well, yeah, but then it becomes a matter of “too much hassle.”
Unless they’re calling every fifteen minutes or something.
At my house, whenever anyone hears me shout “NO! FUCK YOU!” followed by a loud click, everyone knows I’ve just dealt with a telemarketer. Eventually, they’ll yank you, simply because it’s a waste of their time to call someone who will not buy their specific product.
Although the way you describe THESE folks, they won’t even take a number off their list if it turns out to be DISCONNECTED…