# FUCK YOU, SCANNER! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 26, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903 "2001-07-26T23:15:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/1 "2001-07-26T23:15:17Z")
GAAAHHH!!! I haven’t even had my scanner for a month, and it’s not fucking working! The software is fine-but it keeps saying scanner not connected-check the cables-all fine. But guess what? The scanner ITSELF is not on. No lights, no nothing, no power indicated-and this kind of scanner doesn’t have a power switch. What THE FUCK? I’m hoping it’s just the battery pack on the plug…otherwise, I’m seriously seriously pissed. I lugged home about 20 pounds worth of library books all the way from Oakland, on the bus, through downtown, to scan some more pictures…and THIS SHIT HAPPENS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/2 "2001-07-26T23:31:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > I lugged home about 20 pounds worth of library books all the way from Oakland, on the bus, through downtown, to scan some more pictures…and THIS SHIT HAPPENS!!! \*\* Do I smell a copyright violation? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/3 "2001-07-26T23:39:21Z")
Not really. It’s for my Romanov website I’m trying to get done with, complete WITH sources sited. ---
**Author:** ![Pnuk\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Pnuk\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pnuk_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/4 "2001-07-27T11:53:52Z")
Scanners take every oppurtunity to suck dick… Make sure your printer is turned on and try reinstalling your printer driver with your scanner plugged in. Worked for me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/5 "2001-07-27T12:27:26Z")
Never had so much as a momentary problem with mine, but I think they don’t make them the way they used to. Mine is a 1994-vintage SCSI UMAX 630 scanner. In general, I think if you avoid cheap parallel-port and USB scanners, you’ll find scanning a pleasurable experience. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/6 "2001-07-27T12:37:38Z")
“Off” and “On” on my scanner also involve unplugging and re-plugging the little “wall wart” power supply. Also, the light goes off etc. when it’s not been used for a while, and I have to select “preview” when I decide to scan or it won’t do anything at all. Apparently “Preview” wakes the stupid thing up. Failing all that, if you still have problems, might I suggest what I like to refer to as “percussive maintenance”, i.e., beating on it like a drum until it either co-operates or dies. Next step is the classic “manual repeated impact adjustment” which involves hitting it, immediately over it’s most sensitive electronic bits, over and over again until it functions or explodes into a billion pieces. (Seriosly, Percussive maintenance and Manual Repeated Impact Adjustment rarely work on electronic devices, they just make you feel better for a moment or two. Kids, don’t try this at home.) b. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/7 "2001-07-27T13:11:19Z")
Darn it, I thought this thread was going to be about those guys who can read your mind and make your nose bleed or your head explode. That would have been cool. Now please excuse me – I have to take my Ephemerol. ---
**Author:** ![xxx\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/db5fbb/32.png) [@xxx\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xxx_man)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/8 "2001-07-27T13:24:39Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* \*\*GAAAHHH!!! I haven’t even had my scanner for a month, and it’s not fucking working! The software is fine-but it keeps saying scanner not connected-check the cables-all fine. But guess what? The scanner ITSELF is not on. No lights, no nothing, no power indicated-and this kind of scanner doesn’t have a power switch. What THE FUCK? Doesnt happen to be a mustek scanner does it? I purchased one and the damn thing only works when it wants to,i get the same stoopid dope messages(yeah messages) saying “scanner not connected” or “please select twain data source” or “hahahaha sucker!shouldnt of listened to your girlfriend and gone for the gimmicky bear paw 1200ed” I never had this problem with the spectrum :-0 ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/9 "2001-07-27T13:41:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Not really. It’s for my Romanov website I’m trying to get done with, complete WITH sources sited. \*\* Um, just because you cite where you copied the pictures from does not make this legal. You must get permission from the copyright holder. A Google search on “copyright law” will turn up all kinds of information on this. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/10 "2001-07-27T16:20:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > > \*\*Not really. It’s for my Romanov website I’m trying to get done with, complete WITH sources sited. \*\* > > Um, just because you cite where you copied the pictures from does not make this legal. You must get permission from the copyright holder. A Google search on “copyright law” will turn up all kinds of information on this. \*\* My thought exactly, **Scarlett67**. There is a “fair use” component of copyright law which says you can use copyrighted material without permission in limited circumstances (you could show a movie clip if you were reviewing it, for example). I’m unclear how that works for web content, however. ---
**Author:** ![andrew\_dupont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@andrew\_dupont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrew_dupont)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/11 "2001-07-27T19:38:13Z")
Most flatbed scanners have some sort of hardware lock thing so that the scanner mechanism doesn’t get bumped around when it’s in the box and whatnot. With some scanners it’s just a switch that could very easily get knocked. It’s unlikely that this is the problem (since you’ve had the scanner for about a month) but it’s the first thing I thought of. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/12 "2001-07-27T21:11:20Z")
Funny, I just had a problem with a scanner today. It turns out that the OCR software requires registration. After 25 uses or so, the OCR software will stop working. Furthermore, it seemed to be attempting to shut down the scanner itself–the machine would periodically re-cycle as if it had just re-started (it has a power switch). Registration was a cast-iron bitch, with the software bypassing the LAN connection and attempting to do its own dial-up. Then, when the dial-up connection was ripped out and erased from the computer, the software connected over the LAN, informed us that we needed to call customer support, who in turn gave us a patched registration number which we had to file online. Hours of my time has been wasted on this piece of shit scanner, and not one of my pornographic vacation pictures has been scanned in yet. They will. They fucking will. The punchline to all of this is that the OCR software is bullshit. The office gnome who feels that this is going to be best thing since hemohrroid removal surgery is going to shit a brick when she realizes that the software’s amazing “99% accuracy” comes after a painful process of manually correcting every third word. Ah, yes. This copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of the original waterstained 1836 _Journal of the Proceedings of the Senate_ is something that we _must_ have in electronic format. I’ll just make a copy of it and drop it into Scan Woman’s inbox on Monday. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-scanner/73903/13 "2001-07-28T00:00:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kamandi \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > > > \*\*Not really. It’s for my Romanov website I’m trying to get done with, complete WITH sources sited. \*\* > > > > Um, just because you cite where you copied the pictures from does not make this legal. You must get permission from the copyright holder. A Google search on “copyright law” will turn up all kinds of information on this. \*\* > > My thought exactly, **Scarlett67**. There is a “fair use” component of copyright law which says you can use copyrighted material without permission in limited circumstances (you could show a movie clip if you were reviewing it, for example). I’m unclear how that works for web content, however. \*\* Most of the pictures are now considered public domain, being as old as they are. Sofa King-what KIND of scanner do you have? Is it a Hewlett Packward? I’ve used it so many times…but I’m gonna try it again…