“Evening, Chester.”
“Evening, Your Honor. Gonna burn the midnight oil, I see.”
“Uh… yep. Yeah, I have a few cases I want to take another look at before tomorrow.”
“Sounds good, Your Honor. Say, Elvis 'n me are gonna order up some Chinese food later. Ya wanna go in on it with us?”
“Uh… no, no thanks, Chester. Actually, I’m, um, kind of in a hurry, so if you could just let me sign in and come on in.”
“Oh, sure, Your Honor. Just let me do the standard security stuff.”
“Oh, come on, Chester. I’m in a bit of a hurry, here.”
“I really can’t…”
“Aw, jeez, Chester! I’m a judge, remember? Why would I carry a gun into the chambers?”
“Well, I reckon you’re right, Your Honor, maybe I could… um, Your Honor?”
“What?”
“Are you hiding something under that robe?”
“What? Of course not!”
“It just seems a bit bigger and maybe bulkier than usual.”
“Are you saying I’ve gotten fat?”
“Oh, jeez, no, Your Honor, I mean, jeez, no.”
“Just let me in, Chester.”
“I really need to do the security stuff, Your Honor.”
“Chester…”
“Okay, okay. Just walk through the metal detector, and that’ll be it.”
“Aw, come on.”
“I’m sorry, Your Honor, but there’s no other way in. You want in, you have to go through the metal detector.”
“Cripes. Oh, well.”
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
“Jeezum Crow! Never heard it go off that loud before!”
“Well, it must be a malfunction, Chester. I’ll just go on ahead and let you take care of it.”
“Now, Your Honor, you know I’ll get in trouble if I don’t run you through again as a test.”
“Dammit, Chester…”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I haveta. Now just back up a few steps and try it again.”
beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep
“Um, Your Honor?”
“What, Chester?”
“Everytime you back up, you make that beeping noise.”
“It’s a medical condition.”
“Your Honor? Do you have a forklift under that robe?”
“What? How dare you suggest…”
“Dammit, you do! That’s what that shape is under your robes!”
“Aw, crap.”
“What are you trying to do, here?”
“Nothing.”
“Spit it out.”
“Nothing!”
“Well, then, you won’t mind taking those robes off, will ya?”
“Aw, hell.”
“That statue? Again? Your Honor, I thought you’d’ve learned by now.”
“Aw, c’mon, Chester!”
“Now you just leave that statue and that forklift out here in the lobby. You are not taking that into the rotunda.”
“It’ll only be for a minute.”
“I’m sorry, Your Honor, but I just can’t allow it.”
“Please, Chester? I promised the wife.”
“No, sir.”
“Aw, c’mon.”
“Aw, hell. Go talk to Jim Bob down at the office. If he says it’s okay, it’s okay.”
“Thanks, Chester, you’re a real pal!”