# Fuck you. Shovel your sidewalk. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 4, 2011, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141 "2011-02-04T13:56:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/201 "2011-02-09T21:53:00Z")
You can train helper monkeys to go out and steal children for you. Just in case you maybe have some kind of court order preventing you going near parks, or day care centers, or grade schools. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/202 "2011-02-09T21:57:34Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Fine: You literally \*hadn’t \*conceived of it. Happy? Yes I am. Is there some reason I shouldn’t be? What’s wrong with someone not having conceived of something which they’ve never had any particular cause to conceive? > [@](#): > > It’s not that I assumed that you didn’t like walkability so much as you were unaware that it existed. Your posts weren’t “my personal neighborhood isn’t walkable” but rather “any neighborhood with private residences has no use for sidewalks.” Ah. So you need to learn how to read. I got it. > [@](#): > > Maybe they were responsible for the landscaping. Sometimes the person who keeps up the property lives in the building. Hell, sometimes the \*owner \*lives in the building. No, these guys were just redneck hicks. > [@](#): > > Ignorance is often understandable. That doesn’t make it acceptable. Hah, now you’re being stupid on purpose. You know as well as I (if you’ve reflected about it for even a couple of seconds) that the vast majority of instances of ignorance–a humungous number of them in total–are so acceptable it would be _un_acceptable for someone to go around trying to dispell them. Or would you like to go over to Germany and pick a random house and learn German in order to speak to the residents of that house in order to explain to them exactly which shade of brown your shit took on this morning? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/203 "2011-02-09T22:01:47Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Yes I am. Is there some reason I shouldn’t be? No clue. Sounds like a personal concern if there is. > [@](#): > > What’s wrong with someone not having conceived of something which they’ve never had any particular cause to conceive? You’ve never had any cause to conceive of why people would want to use the sidewalks in a residential area? Oooooookay. I also can’t believe the hoops you’re trying to jump through to make yourself look like less of an idiot. You’re seriously comparing being able to describe your bowel movements in German to guessing that maybe somebody might at some point want to \*walk \*on a _side **walk** _? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheField](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@LilyoftheField](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheField)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/204 "2011-02-09T22:10:31Z")
And furthermore, if you read this thread you would know that circumstances are totally irrelevant to the issue. Nobody ever actually walks on your sidewalk? Especially in the winter? Doesn’t matter - fuck you, shovel your sidewalk! The city you live in already plows your sidewalk? Doesn’t matter - fuck you, salt your sidewalk, after the plow! You live in a semi-suburban/rural area where there’s very little traffic in the street? Doesn’t matter - fuck you, shovel (and salt!) your sidewalk! The mailman actually drives a little four wheel drive mail truck which he/she never has to get out of to deliver mail? Doesn’t matter - fuck you, shovel (and salt!) your sidewalk! You barely have enough money to retain your home, never mind paying someone to clear a sidewalk that is rarely, if ever used? Doesn’t matter - fuck you, shovel your sidewalk! You live more than a two miles away from the nearest business (the convenient store)? Doesn’t matter - fuck you, shovel your sidewalk! You’re afraid that shoveling your sidewalk might be a threat to your personal health and well-being, and for no discernible purpose? Doesn’t matter - fuck you, shovel your sidewalk! The important thing to remember is this - everyone should treat their own personal sidewalk as though Meyer6 and SFG might decide to go skipping down it arm in arm at any moment! You can never know when this might happen! And they are afraid of the street, so that is completely out of the equation. If you can’t do this, then you are a moron. So it has been written… ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/205 "2011-02-09T22:12:57Z")
An attorney informs us the best way to shield yourself from slip & fall lawsuits is to probably > [@Stuart DiMartini](#): > > [not do anything in relation to removing snow and ice from the sidewalks](http://dimartinilaw.com/personal_injury_blog/2010/04/07/who-should-be-responsible-for-snow-and-ice-removal-from-new-york-sidewalks/) _So fuck you. I’ll become community minded & start shoveling when sanity leeches its way into the American tort system_ ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/206 "2011-02-09T22:33:19Z")
> [@LilyoftheField](#): > > And furthermore, if you read this thread you would know that circumstances are totally irrelevant to the issue. Shut the fuck up already, you vapid bitch. Nobody wants to hear more of your self-pitying whining. You know how you avoid the problem of shoveling a sidewalk? Don’t fucking live in an area with sidewalks. Otherwise, you don’t get to be the personal arbiter of whether or not public walkways are passable just because you, personally, don’t use them. Otherwise I might as well start planting fucking trees in the middle of the street, because, hey, \*I \*don’t drive! You stupid selfish moron. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/207 "2011-02-09T22:42:01Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > No clue. Sounds like a personal concern if there is. > > You’ve never had any cause to conceive of why people would want to use the sidewalks in a residential area? Oooooookay. > > I also can’t believe the hoops you’re trying to jump through to make yourself look like less of an idiot. You’re seriously comparing being able to describe your bowel movements in German to guessing that maybe somebody might at some point want to \*walk \*on a _side **walk** _? :rolleyes: Surely pretending to be stupid will get boring for you soon? It’s a very long leap from “Someone might at some point want to walk on the sidewalk in front of my house” to “I have an absolute, anger-worthy duty to punctually remove all snow and ice from that sidewalk whenever it should fall thereupon.” Again: I _agree_ with you that people have that duty. You’re just being kind of obtuse when you argue that this is something that should be dumbfoundingly obvious to every human being on the planet without reflection. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/208 "2011-02-09T22:58:14Z")
My god! You’re _right_! How could I have been so _stupid_! Of \*course \*it isn’t obvious that sidewalks are for walking. Who could _possibly assume such a strange and esoteric use for them?! I’m so embar_assed. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheField](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@LilyoftheField](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheField)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/209 "2011-02-09T23:08:12Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Shut the fuck up already, you vapid bitch. Nobody wants to hear more of your self-pitying whining. > > You know how you avoid the problem of shoveling a sidewalk? Don’t fucking live in an area with sidewalks. Otherwise, you don’t get to be the personal arbiter of whether or not public walkways are passable just because you, personally, don’t use them. Otherwise I might as well start planting fucking trees in the middle of the street, because, hey, \*I \*don’t drive! You stupid selfish moron. Gosh, SFG, you are kind of like a komodo dragon - toxic spittle dripping from your bared fangs everytime you post! :eek: I don’t think I ever said anything about whether or not I personally use the aforementioned sidewalks. I don’t recall using that as an argument pro or con? Although I may have mentioned something about how other people (don’t) use the sidewalks - only in my neighborhood, of course - the only one with which I am somewhat familiar… And why on earth should I move to a neighborhood where there are no sidewalks, when I already live in one where the city clears the sidewalks? What the hell are you talking about??? Have you actually read any of my posts? 😕 And really, “self-pitying whining”? I think we’ve already established that I don’t have to shovel my sidewalk. So, self-pity would be kind of wasted here. And, speaking of being a ‘personal arbiter’? I guess I must have missed the post where you were appointed spokesperson about what everyone wants to hear or not hear on these boards. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/210 "2011-02-09T23:52:25Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > I have a question: Why? > > I live in the south with no sidewalks, so I’m not understanding the venom. > Were I to live in snow country with sidewalks, I’m the kind of guy who would clear mine and the neighbor’s. > > If I wanted to. > > I understand there are laws/regulations requiring you to, but how in the hell is that constitutional? > I have to buy a snowblower? A shovel? It’s 8 degrees out, and 4 feet of snow. I’m not walking anywhere. > I have to endanger my health just because you want to walk your dog? > > Fuck that shit. > > Walk in the street. If your taxes paid to clear the street, they damn well should pay to clear The City’s Sidewalk. > > There are plenty of people who are unable to get out and move 3 tons of snow. What do you do about them? Fine them? > > I’m not being obtuse. I genuinely don’t see how a gov’t entity can force me to clean their property. > > Fuck that. You’re entitled to your own opinion of course, but I think you could have stopped your post at “I live in the south” and done us all a favour. Let’s see, I’ve never lived in the south, so I think I’ll make a long, opinionated post about something I know absolutely nothing about - kudzu maybe? Swamp coolers? Grits? > [@LilyoftheField](#): > > \ > > The important thing to remember is this - everyone should treat their own personal sidewalk as though Meyer6 and SFG might decide to go skipping down it arm in arm at any moment! \ Now I’m picturing that. My, this thread has certainly taken some weird turns today. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheField](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@LilyoftheField](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheField)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/211 "2011-02-10T00:02:12Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > My, this thread has certainly taken some weird turns today. Well, when it comes to ‘weird’, the Dope rarely surprises us! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/212 "2011-02-10T00:23:06Z")
> [@LilyoftheField](#): > > The important thing to remember is this - everyone should treat their own personal sidewalk as though Meyer6 and SFG might decide to go skipping down it arm in arm at any moment! I’d say the important thing is to realize that it’s not “your personal sidewalk.” ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/213 "2011-02-10T00:48:00Z")
Cat, SFG, can’t some people be exempt from this shoveling rule? I think that given a mutually exclusive choice of forcing old and infirm people to shovel or pay for shoveling and telling them to move out of their homes if they don’t, the lesser evil is to just allow that some people can’t get the snow removed and it’s not that big of a deal Though personally I don’t know why anyone would want to live in Snowpocalypse on purpose 😛 The first sign of snow here and I’m looking up real estate in San Diego! ---
**Author:** ![Diz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Diz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diz)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/214 "2011-02-10T00:52:11Z")
> [@LilyoftheField](#): > > Gosh, SFG, you are kind of like a komodo dragon - toxic spittle dripping from your bared fangs everytime you post! :eek: > > I don’t think I ever said anything about whether or not I personally use the aforementioned sidewalks. I don’t recall using that as an argument pro or con? Although I may have mentioned something about how other people (don’t) use the sidewalks - only in my neighborhood, of course - the only one with which I am somewhat familiar… > > And why on earth should I move to a neighborhood where there are no sidewalks, when I already live in one where the city clears the sidewalks? What the hell are you talking about??? Have you actually read any of my posts? 😕 > > And really, “self-pitying whining”? I think we’ve already established that I don’t have to shovel my sidewalk. So, self-pity would be kind of wasted here. And, speaking of being a ‘personal arbiter’? I guess I must have missed the post where you were appointed spokesperson about what everyone wants to hear or not hear on these boards. Cite? Your mistake was in trying to argue the point. The proper response to people afraid of walking through a little snow? Fuck you, move farther south. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/215 "2011-02-10T01:19:20Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > My god! You’re _right_! How could I have been so _stupid_! Of \*course \*it isn’t obvious that sidewalks are for walking. Who could _possibly assume such a strange and esoteric use for them?! I’m so embar_assed. Wow so… you’re just really, really stupid then. I thought you were pretending. The floor of my house is for walking as well. Shall I make sure the door is always unlocked for you? Of course not. So “X is for walking” does not imply “I should prepare X for everyone to walk on.” There are lots of good reasons I should shovel my sidewalk for the good of the community. “The sidewalk is for walking” is not one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/216 "2011-02-10T03:08:20Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Cat, SFG, can’t some people be exempt from this shoveling rule? I think that given a mutually exclusive choice of forcing old and infirm people to shovel or pay for shoveling and telling them to move out of their homes if they don’t, the lesser evil is to just allow that some people can’t get the snow removed and it’s not that big of a deal I mentioned such an exemption back in post 149: > [@Me](#): > > If I recall my days in Toronto correctly, the city would shovel the city-owned sidewalk of seniors and the handicapped at no charge. There were some restrictions–for example, if a senior or a handicapped person owned the house but had someone living there who was capable of shovelling, the owner was ineligible for the program. Also, it might be a day or two before the city sent a crew, but the program was there… Not sure if Toronto still does this, but it certainly did once. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/217 "2011-02-10T03:25:45Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > I understand there are laws/regulations requiring you to, but how in the hell is that constitutional? > I have to buy a snowblower? A shovel? It’s 8 degrees out, and 4 feet of snow. I’m not walking anywhere. Why would it not be constitutional? Home ownership comes with both privileges and responsibilities. I know all the princesses around here would like life to be all privilege and no responsibility, but them’s the breaks. As has been pointed out numerous times in this thread, there are lots of things you have to do when you own a house - mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, and refraining from building without permits all spring to mind. Do you get this worked up about having to buy a lawnmower and mow the lawn? > [@](#): > > Walk in the street. If your taxes paid to clear the street, they damn well should pay to clear The City’s Sidewalk. Several people in this thread have said this. Are you seriously saying that when you are driving around your fine city, you don’t mind at all if there are people strolling down the middle of the road? You don’t mind that you have to drive at a snails pace to stay behind them? You don’t care if you hit and injure or kill someone? There’s a good reason we have roads to drive on and sidewalks to walk on. > [@LilyoftheField](#): > > Nobody ever actually walks on your sidewalk? Especially in the winter? Doesn’t matter - fuck you, shovel your sidewalk! I really wonder how the hell you guys seem to \*know \*that nobody ever walks on your sidewalk. Do you know how many people walk on the sidewalk in front of my house? No? Neither do I. I have absolutely no damn clue, because I don’t spend all my days staring out the front window making note of everyone who goes by. I have better things to do with my time. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/218 "2011-02-10T03:36:32Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > I really wonder how the hell you guys seem to \*know \*that nobody ever walks on your sidewalk. Do you know how many people walk on the sidewalk in front of my house? No? Neither do I. I have absolutely no damn clue, because I don’t spend all my days staring out the front window making note of everyone who goes by. I have better things to do with my time. Because the pristine snow on the sidewalk in front of our houses has no snowprints. That’s how. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/219 "2011-02-10T03:52:06Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > I really wonder how the hell you guys seem to \*know \*that nobody ever walks on your sidewalk. Do you know how many people walk on the sidewalk in front of my house? No? Neither do I. I have absolutely no damn clue, because I don’t spend all my days staring out the front window making note of everyone who goes by. I have better things to do with my time. > [@Kozmik](#): > > Because the pristine snow on the sidewalk in front of our houses has no snowprints. That’s how. Yeah, uh, this. No footprints = no one’s been there, kinda by definition if there’s enough snow to shovel. Now, granted, it’s possible that people are simply avoiding the uncleared sidewalk, but even if there’s a light unimpeding dusting of snow or drift I haven’t shoveled (because I was at work when the wind blew), I can count on one hand the number of footprints seen in five years living here. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141/220 "2011-02-10T05:43:10Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Yeah, uh, this. No footprints = no one’s been there, kinda by definition if there’s enough snow to shovel. > > Now, granted, it’s possible that people are simply avoiding the uncleared sidewalk, but even if there’s a light unimpeding dusting of snow or drift I haven’t shoveled (because I was at work when the wind blew), I can count on one hand the number of footprints seen in five years living here. I was referring more to the people who live somewhere where the sidewalks are cleared by the city or who live in the South, but they’re still totally sure that nobody uses the sidewalk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-shovel-your-sidewalk/570141.md?page=12)