# Fuck you, too, Diane! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 1, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991 "2001-05-01T20:52:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/1 "2001-05-01T20:52:46Z")
So I’m going through my e-mail, and what to my eyes should appear but a little message entitled: “Diane thought you might have erectile dysfunction!” And the message is all about this African wood or whatnot that works like Viagra, yadda yadda yadda. I didn’t really pay attention to the message, because I was just too goddamned pissed off. I only know _one_ **Diane** , and that’s the poster on this message board. You goddamned motherfucker- how did you kn… er, what makes you think that I have problems like this? Jesus Christ, are you telling _everyone_ about this? I mean, crap, I’m getting this message about it from someone at yahoo that I’ve never heard of before, and sure, it’s some sort of helpful thing if I had the problem- which I **don’t** , let’s be clear about that- what the fuck? Are you IMing everyone “John Corrado can’t get it up!” Good Lord, woman! What did I ever do to you? I _try_ to be a good moderator. I fix people’s code, I close threads that need it, and move threads that should be elsewhere. And this is what I get? Snickering comments about erectile dysfunction? Fuck you all! [sub]Every time I get a ‘personalized’ piece of spam, I wonder how many relationships have been damaged or even ruined because of the assumption that it’s actually a real message. And I’m not sure whether that’s really depressing or really funny. Fucking spammers.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/2 "2001-05-01T20:55:59Z")
So… so… . now we can’t share that night of wild uninhibited passion? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Palandine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/958977/32.png) [@Palandine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palandine)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/3 "2001-05-01T20:58:13Z")
Diane also thought I might have erectile dysfunction, which is pretty odd considering that I’m a girl :eek: and have a girly name on the hotmail account to which that particular spam was spent. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/4 "2001-05-01T20:58:44Z")
Of course we can, **oldscratch** ; ED is something that’s never happened to me before. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/5 "2001-05-01T21:23:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Of course we can, oldscratch; ED is something that’s never happened to me before. What, just the one time? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/6 "2001-05-01T21:25:56Z")
Do you use hotmail? I do. And I got a message from Diane about ED. Fuck you, too, Diane. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/7 "2001-05-01T21:29:09Z")
Well, I don’t recall if it was Diane or not, but yeah, someone was concerned I had erectile dysfunction as well. I also want to send in for one of those “Enlarge your penis!” things, because hey, it’s guaranteed! So what if I don’t have a penis? I saw it on the Internet, it MUST be true. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/8 "2001-05-01T21:36:25Z")
Hey, Rasa, you should go for that Penis Enlargement. Because, as everyone knows… It’s awfully nice to have a penis It’s frightfully good to have a dong It’s swell to have a stiffy It’d divine to own a dick! (On a different note… I’ve yet to get one of those ED E-mails, and dammit, I need one… Viagra just doesn’t do anything for me anymore) ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/9 "2001-05-01T21:39:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Munch \* > \*\*Do you use hotmail? I do. And I got a message from Diane about ED. > > Fuck you, too, Diane. \*\* Wait, you mean Ed has erectile disfunction too? And, Diane, I thought we agreed not to talk about that…like I explained, I was drunk and tired, and…\ ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/10 "2001-05-01T21:40:19Z")
**John** , you didn’t read the email carefully, did you? The truth is that someone _else_ was concerned that you might have ED. **Diane** , it turns out, is the _cure_. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/11 "2001-05-01T21:45:29Z")
Hey, I got it too! Er, I mean the spam. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/12 "2001-05-01T21:45:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John Corrado \* > > And the message is all about this African wood … \*\* \ he said AFRICAN WOOD!!! bwahaaaaa \ ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/13 "2001-05-01T21:46:22Z")
What the fuck!!! **I** am **DIANE** ferhellsake, and **I** got the exact same e-mail called _"Diane thought you might have erectile dysfunction_". I figured that someone forgot to put the “,” between “Diane” and “thought”. Try being **ME** and getting an e-mail from yourself claiming to have erectile dysfunction! It has freaked me right the fuck out! I keep running to the bathroom and looking for a penis that isn’t there, or :::gasp::: shrivelled up to a limp little nub with no hope of getting erect! :eek: FUCK! If anyone wants this “Diane” to spread the message of their ability to . . . . expand. . . . you have my e-mail address. My machine reads JPEGS and MPEGS quite well. Person to person presentations by appointment only. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/14 "2001-05-01T21:52:10Z")
Hey guys, check out the gnarly new sig. May I use it Manny? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/15 "2001-05-01T21:54:50Z")
I also am the proud recipient of this particular bit of spam. What I don’t get, though, is the whole cost thing. If I wanted a longer penis, I’d scrape together twenty bucks and buy a new one. Seems more practical than deforesting Africa… ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/16 "2001-05-01T22:08:49Z")
> [@](#): > > _Sayeth **andygirl** _If I wanted a longer penis, I’d scrape together twenty bucks and buy a new one. heh. Now _that_ should be a sig line! ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/17 "2001-05-01T22:30:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diane \* > \*\*Hey guys, check out the gnarly new sig. > > May I use it Manny? 😃 \*\* It’s all yours. We’ll work out suitable, uh, compensation later. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/18 "2001-05-01T22:54:50Z")
_sigh_ I wish **I** would get an email about erectile dysfunction. all the cool people did. :: kickin’ dirt :: This must be a part of the SDMB Cool People Clique that I don’t get to be in. shoot. Hey **Diane** …how did you feel when you initially saw this thread title? A little scared? I would have been. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/19 "2001-05-01T23:42:15Z")
My dad subscribes to Men’s Health, and now gets all these really embarassing ads in the mail. My mother almost died when the ED ad came in the mail-no brown wrapping or anything. Nice. ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991/20 "2001-05-02T01:28:36Z")
**jarbaby** , I ain’t cool neither… _nobody_ thinks _I_ have erectile dysfunction. Although I have had many offers regarding the enlargement of my penis, and assorted “hot, wet, teenaged girls” frequently contact me regarding their portfolios. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-too-diane/63991.md?page=2)