# Fuck You, Universe. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 4, 2013, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144 "2013-06-04T19:12:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/1 "2013-06-04T19:12:18Z")
So last week, my best friends son’s girlfriend died in a dune buggy accident. Last Friday, my friend Fred, a mentor for Scott, the son, who had been turned down for his third heart transplant, opted to unplug his pump and slip away. Last night, the aforementioned best friends son, having dealt with more sadness and death in one week than he had all his life, left Fred’s memorial and took his own life. 19 years old, and the sweetest, kindest, most fundamentally good person I have ever met, and he decided it was too much. His father, who lost a brother to suicide twenty five years ago is on his last legs. He’s in danger of slipping off the wagon after almost ten years of sobriety. I have no idea what to do or say. These were the best parents a kid could have, nothing but unconditional love, acceptance and hugs. Lots and lots of hugs. We are all converging on the house this weekend, for a memorial and some support. Though all this, the fucking Universe has the temerity to just keep going on. Nothing stopped. People went to work like it was any other day. I wanted to shout at them, tell them what had been lost, not just by friends and family, but by the world. It’s a worse place for not having him in it. So fuck you fate, universe, karma, coincidence. Whatever it is, fuck you right up the ass with a red hot poker. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/2 "2013-06-04T19:17:17Z")
> [@yanceylebeef](#): > > Though all this, the fucking Universe has the temerity to just keep going on. Nothing stopped. \*\*People went to work like it was any other day. \*\* > > I wanted to shout at them, tell them what had been lost, not just by friends and family, but by the world. So you didn’t? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/3 "2013-06-04T19:22:44Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > So you didn’t? Really? That’s what you have to say in response to a horrible tragedy that has personally touched the life of the poster? Jesus Christ, **yancey**. There are no words. I am so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/4 "2013-06-04T19:23:51Z")
Thanks, Olive. I wrote a response to the previous poster, but deleted it. Not worth arguing with people right now. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/5 "2013-06-04T19:24:44Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > So you didn’t? You need to learn when to not post your thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/6 "2013-06-04T19:29:02Z")
I’m not very experienced with death, but as best I can tell, the most important thing you can do for your best friend is be physically present and show him that he is loved. The memorial/support this weekend sounds like a really good idea, this is the time when communities really do matter. And I would say, don’t be afraid to show how you’re feeling too. I know a lot of times people feel they have to be ‘‘strong’’ for their loved ones, but I’m not terribly convinced playing stoic is the best idea. It seems like if ever there were a time for emotional honesty, it would be now. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/7 "2013-06-04T19:30:16Z")
Well that sucks. Not much more I can offer on the matter, other than to hope things get better. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/8 "2013-06-04T19:31:13Z")
My heart goes out to you and your friend, yancey. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/9 "2013-06-04T19:35:12Z")
Awful ☹ I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_jeffrey_lebowski/32/215_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/10 "2013-06-04T19:39:23Z")
{hugs} ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/11 "2013-06-04T19:39:41Z")
That whole situation sucks. Lots of people left in this f’d up world that do care. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/12 "2013-06-04T19:40:38Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > So you didn’t? ::checks forum:: Nice threadshitting you insensitive ass. ETA: sorry to hear, yancey. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/13 "2013-06-04T20:00:41Z")
Sorry Brother Doper, There are no words I can say that will give you or your friend help or which will ease the pain you both feel right now. I have walked many miles in those shoes and, after time, it does get better. So yea fuck you Universe, fuck you. Please feel free to vent in our direction **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/14 "2013-06-04T20:24:03Z")
One of the uglier facts about our ugly universe is that personal pain drops off much more quickly than the square of the distance. More like the fourth power. We, as moral and sympathetic people, believe we should feel your pain – but we can’t. There’s too much of it. It’s everywhere. We feel your pain, because you had the eloquence to post about it. But imagine if every single soul – let’s limit it to English speakers with computer access – posted their stories here. Overwhelming. We can – and we do, and properly – say, we’re sorry to hear of your loss. It certainly is a bitter story, with loss piling upon loss, and sorrow piling upon sorrow. It isn’t much, to say: our sympathies. For those who pray, our prayers. But, yes, you targeted the true evil: the universe. The universe is built upon iron laws of pain. Evolution only progresses by death. Our liberties have only been won in wars. “Time is not love’s bed-chamber,” and all good things must pass. We do go to work the next day, as if we lived in a sane, normal place, because if we gave the world’s hurts their proper respect, we’d never get out from under the bed. Ever. Stupid universe. I say abolish it and institute another in its place. (Only half joking: civilization is, in a sense, our second draft of the universe.) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/15 "2013-06-04T20:36:12Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I’m not very experienced with death, but as best I can tell, the most important thing you can do for your best friend is be physically present and show him that he is loved. The memorial/support this weekend sounds like a really good idea, this is the time when communities really do matter. And I would say, don’t be afraid to show how you’re feeling too. I know a lot of times people feel they have to be ‘‘strong’’ for their loved ones, but I’m not terribly convinced playing stoic is the best idea. It seems like if ever there were a time for emotional honesty, it would be now. Agreed. Sometimes people just sort of want “permission” that it’s OK to cry in your presence, and you can cry together. Hell, I want to cry just hearing about it. ☹ I’m so, so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/16 "2013-06-04T21:00:20Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > You need to learn when to not post your thoughts. That’s during Junior year. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/17 "2013-06-04T21:21:46Z")
I am so very sorry… my heart is breaking for you and the others who have shared these losses. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/18 "2013-06-04T21:30:50Z")
I’m very sorry, **yanceylebeef**. That’s a horrible series of losses. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/19 "2013-06-04T21:31:31Z")
With all due respect I really am feeling for you right now. I believe anonymous user meant nothing sarcastic by his comment. I think he was just saying go ahead and shout and get it out of your system. Best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144/20 "2013-06-04T21:34:28Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > So you didn’t? This message board would be a lot better off if you would just forget your password. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-universe/660144.md?page=2)