# Fuck you, US Postal Service. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 13, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259 "2000-12-13T00:05:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Space\_Vampire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Space\_Vampire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Space_Vampire)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259/1 "2000-12-13T00:05:24Z")
First you bring me a stack of movies in the middle of finals week. Now that I have a month off and nothing to do, you’ve failed to get another package to me from an adjacent state for a week now! This ALWAYS happens when I try to get something to fill up my empty time! ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259/2 "2000-12-13T00:23:17Z")
And somewhere, a disgruntled USPS worker loads his shotgun… Better not pout, motherfucker!! ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259/3 "2000-12-13T00:41:37Z")
Three months and four phone calls, and I **still** can’t get them to forward my damn mail. Shotguns? _Just try it._ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Poison\_Ivy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7cd45c/32.png) [@Poison\_Ivy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poison_Ivy)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259/4 "2000-12-13T05:53:09Z")
… have you gone into the P.O. and filled out their nice little change of address forms? I know my local office won’t do much based on phone calls. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259/5 "2000-12-13T15:53:44Z")
The reason the Post Office won’t accept Changes of Address over the phone is because you wouldn’t believe the numbers of ex-wives, ex-husbands, old boyfriends, former girlfriends, and recently laid-off factory workers who think it would be stone hilarious to call the Post Office and have their ex-husband’s/ex-wife’s/old girlfriend’s/former boyfriend’s/factory supervisor’s mail forwarded to Moosefuck, Alaska. ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259/6 "2000-12-13T17:30:21Z")
“Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift ass-fucking of a Space Vampire.” ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259/7 "2000-12-13T19:27:10Z")
Better than forwarding your Ex’s mail to Moosefuck, is telling the carrier they DIED! I’ve had people do just that. That’s why unless I’ve seen the death certificate or the body, I don’t mark anything “deceased”. Most actually dead peoples family forward their mail to the next of kin or the executor. And no you cannot put “deceased” on a change of address form as the new address. Although I DID have someone forward their dead mothers mail to the cemetary, using her plot number as an apartment number. THAT was at least clever. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259/8 "2000-12-13T23:09:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Poison Ivy \* > \*\*… have you gone into the P.O. and filled out their nice little change of address forms? I know my local office won’t do much based on phone calls. \*\* Absolutely I did, before I left. I still have the confirmation letter they mailed me to my new address, and they say they have the request in their files. Kind of hard to go back in person, since I’m now approximately 430 miles from my last address. ---
**Author:** ![Poison\_Ivy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7cd45c/32.png) [@Poison\_Ivy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poison_Ivy)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259/9 "2000-12-14T01:16:19Z")
Well drewbert, I guess there’s nothing left to say except “Fuck You, USPS”! Those cocksmokers. Lest anyone get too touchy, I am a postal employee’s spouse and therefore can get away with (a certain amount of) these assertations. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259/10 "2000-12-14T11:27:52Z")
I filled out a change of address form about 6 months ago, and I have yet to receive a letter forwarded from my old address. My wife says it’s because I turned in the change of address form at the post office near where I live now, not at the one in my old town - aren’t they supposed to have some kind of national database for these? ---
**Author:** ![Corixidae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Corixidae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corixidae)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-us-postal-service/45259/11 "2000-12-14T22:27:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > \*\*\ > > I turned in the change of address form at the post office near where I live now, not at the one in my old town - aren’t they supposed to have some kind of national database for these?\*\* Every time I’ve filled out that form, it instructed me to mail it to the post office of the old address, as that’s where the mail is forwarded FROM. But maybe I’m remembering it wrong. Anywho, it seems sensible the OLD post office would be the one that would need the info more than the new P.O., because mail with your old address would be going through the old P.O. for processing.