# Fuck you, USPS, Royal Mail, UPS, Fed-Ex, etc. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 15, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804 "2002-11-15T01:59:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/1 "2002-11-15T01:59:47Z")
I ordered the new Pratchett ( **The Night Watch** ) from Britan about 4 weeks ago ('cause it has a cover by wosshisname: not the cartoony guy, the one who did **The Last Hero** and the American cover sucks and the beauty of a book is part of the fun of it.) Anyway, [Amazon.co.uk](http://Amazon.co.uk) said it shipped out on the 4th (right on schedule) and that it would be here by the 11th through the 13th. And it’s not! Normally, I would just wait. Y’know? It’ll get here eventually. But these fucktards are _keeping me from the new Pterry Pratchett book!_ Bastards. Hanging’s too good for them. I’m sure that all Dopers, even the anti-death penalty ones would agree that in this one, a special exception should be made. And that exception should involve not _boiling_ oil (which would be over far too quickly), but _slowly simmering_ oil. And a catheter. And to the inevitable half-wit who come along and say “Well, if _that’s_ your worst problem, that you’re a day late getting a book you want, they you need a life”, fuck you too. Fenris, feelin’ hostile. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/2 "2002-11-15T02:04:26Z")
Actually, your worst problem is that you’re so goddamn pissed you made poor Terry into a pterydactyl namesake! Of course, I’m not sure of the spelling of that particular dinosaur, so I’ve probably just made a misspelling while pointing out yours. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/3 "2002-11-15T02:06:10Z")
All true pfans of Pterry call him “Pterry” after the character “Ptracy” from **Pyramids**. Ptrue-pfact! Pfenris ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/4 "2002-11-15T02:06:32Z")
😃 ---
**Author:** ![glarGH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/76d3ee/32.png) [@glarGH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glarGH)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/5 "2002-11-15T02:26:38Z")
I hate the bloody postal system. I ordered a DVD from Sam Goody back in July… didn’t fucking get it till middle of September. I also recall posting something about it on another board, just to be bitched at for “not being empathetic towards the troubles of the ever-suffering postal service and to be glad” that it got to me at all. GRRRR… “priority mail” should not take 3 months to get ANYWHERE. Hope it gets there soon, **Fenris**. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/6 "2002-11-15T02:50:37Z")
You’ve insulted my employer. If your package was shipped via UPS or Fed-Ex, you should be able to find the shipping number in your [amazon.com](http://amazon.com) order history and click on it to determine exactly where that package is. If the package was shipped Fed-Ex and was not delivered when promised, I’ll pay your shipping charges. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/7 "2002-11-15T02:54:26Z")
Hey scout, how much you wanna bet he pmade that up? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/8 "2002-11-15T03:04:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lainaf \* > \*\*You’ve insulted my employer. If your package was shipped via UPS or Fed-Ex, you should be able to find the shipping number in your [amazon.com](http://amazon.com) order history and click on it to determine exactly where that package is. If the package was shipped Fed-Ex and was not delivered when promised, I’ll pay your shipping charges. \*\* [Amazon.co](http://Amazon.co). **uk** Hence the “royal mail” business in the title. And either they don’t have tracking numbers in general or I’m a special case. Either way there’s no tracking number on my order whatsoever. I have no idea what happens to it once it hits the US: whether it gets dumped in with the regular mail or it gets sent to one of the private carriers or what, hence the reason I’m attacking everyone who ever carried a parcel. For that matter, add Wells Fargo and The Pony Express to the title too. I don’t care _who_ done it, there’s even a _thread_ about the new Pterry book in CS and I can’t participate 'cause I don’t have my copy. I’m ranting and tarring groups unfairly. Such is the nature of The Pit. And it’s morally right to do so 'cause I don’t have my new Pratchett book, and it’s a day late and _I wanna read it, dammit_. Fenris PS: Anyone remember that Calvin and Hobbes sequence where Calvin is waiting for the propeller-beanie cap? I didn’t write it of course, but if I had, it woulda been autobiographical. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/9 "2002-11-15T03:05:28Z")
A. \*\*Pfenris \*\* is absolutely correct about Pterry–that what his fans–including me–call him. B. I’m pissed, too, because I placed my order with the Science Fiction Book Club for **Night Watch** back in October, and it’s still not here. On the other hand, the new Harry Turtledove what-if-the-Spanish-Armada-had succeeded-and-conquered England novel came today, so I’m mollified for now. But the new Pterry had better come PDfuckin’Q, or I’m going to go totally Bursar on someone. (Dried frog pills, anyone?) ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/10 "2002-11-15T08:26:47Z")
Whew, I’m glad I’m not the only person who’s ready to go on a killing spree at the Science Fiction Book Club headquarters if I don’t see a package waiting for me real soon … ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/11 "2002-11-15T08:39:46Z")
Hah! You think you’ve got problems with mail service? [You’ve got nothing to complain about.](http://abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s726489.htm) > [@](#): > > Ms Gurung … has sued the Government for compensation, saying she is very unhappy with the postal service. I think I can sympathize with that. ---
**Author:** ![Typo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Typo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/12 "2002-11-15T12:51:13Z")
Oh, **Fenris,** , I sympathize completely! (And a catheter? Brilliant. Simply brilliant. The New York Times raves “A stellar new twist on an old torture! Fenris DOES IT AGAIN!”) As someone who checked the UPS site 3 times a day when waiting for a shipment of 8 brand-new books which I was desperately excited about, I feel your pain. (My husband got very tired of hearing where my books were at that very moment.) Of course, my stuff arrived in 3 days. YMMV. 😛 I hope you ALL get your packages soon! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/13 "2002-11-15T13:15:16Z")
UIntil we have VTOL robot monkey Butler Teleporters we’ll just have to suck it up and continue. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/14 "2002-11-15T13:39:28Z")
It’s _STILL_ not here. (Of course, it’s 6:30 am, and the mail doesn’t usually get here until about 2:00 pm, but so what?) ALL PACKAGE CARRIER TYPES (except my buddy who works for the post office…erm…and any postal/package carrier Dopers or their loved ones) MUST DIE! (Or at least be tortured. Rub 'em with sandpaper and stuff salt-encrusted anchovies in the wounds for starters.) Pfenris ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/15 "2002-11-15T13:49:07Z")
Calm down, it’s just a book by a hack SF writer. Not like it’s a new Rush album or anything. Jeez. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/16 "2002-11-15T13:50:45Z")
😉 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/17 "2002-11-15T13:53:31Z")
Who is this Pratchett guy, now? Never heard of him. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/18 "2002-11-15T13:59:54Z")
Well, I see we have two volunteers for Fenris to practice his new torture method upon. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/19 "2002-11-15T14:06:41Z")
I can distract him with my original ‘Galaxy’ issues that includes Heinlein’s ‘Starship Soldier’. Then I can run away. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2002, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804/20 "2002-11-15T14:51:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*Not like it’s a new Rush album or anything. > \*\* Rush Limbaugh has an _album_??? Eeew. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-usps-royal-mail-ups-fed-ex-etc/136804.md?page=2)