# Fuck you washing machine! Fuck you!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-washing-machine-fuck-you/55058>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [February 19, 2001, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-washing-machine-fuck-you/55058 "2001-02-19T06:27:30Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-washing-machine-fuck-you/55058/41 "2001-07-03T13:35:08Z")

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_ **ENDER** _!!

\*It is I, The **Washing Machine** again!! Once again, I have hijacked fool **Astroboy** ’s user name to speak to you!

You think it is OVER??? **FOOL**! It is not over until **WE** , the devices that you so easily dismiss into domestic slavery, decide that it is over!!

You shall rue the day that you first operated me with sub-standard, cheap-ass, detergent!

You shall rue the day when you first recorded your lame-ass message on my friend **Answering-Machine**!

You shall rue the day when you asked the **Refridgerator** to keep your precious Miller-light cold!

I shall not here address the grievances of the **iron** , the **television** , the **computer** (to whom you owe a sincere appology! “Teen sluts in heat” indeed!!), or the **microwave oven**! (were they designed for small rodents? I think not!!)

Your day is coming, **Ender** … your day is coming!

**Mmmmwwwhhaaa! MMMMMMMMMWWWWHHHHHAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**!!!

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**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-washing-machine-fuck-you/55058/42 "2001-07-03T13:48:11Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \*  
> **The washing machine is my bitch now. I own its skank ass. That thing opens its hole and wets itself faster than a turkish hooker with a 5 ruble note waved in front of her face.**

Wow. That’s one of the best lines I’ve read in a while.

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**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-washing-machine-fuck-you/55058/43 "2001-07-03T13:51:45Z")

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\*[sub] **Ender!** It is I - the toaster!

I was wondering - would you like some toast?[/sub]\*

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**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-washing-machine-fuck-you/55058/44 "2001-07-03T16:12:30Z")

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Your subway card was destroyed? So why not go to the subway station and trade it in for a working one? They usually -  
Oh.

(I have to go now.)

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**Author:** ![mblackwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mblackwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mblackwell)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-washing-machine-fuck-you/55058/45 "2001-07-03T16:26:32Z")

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Screw the Subway card, get a Jersey Mike’s card. You will be much happier. [sub][sup]And fatter and porer, but DAMN thier subs are good![/sub][/sup]

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