# Fuck you, you motherfucking slimy excuse for a uterus **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 27, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790 "2002-08-27T16:27:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2002, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/21 "2002-08-27T22:44:27Z")
Jeezus, **jarbabyj** , when your clock is ticking it really freaking TICKS! If my plumbing still worked I’d offer to help. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2002, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/22 "2002-08-27T23:54:39Z")
Ugh, all this talk of a slimy uterus and mucus has given me the dry heaves. Anyone want the rest of these fries? And best of luck the whole reproduction thing. ---
**Author:** ![tsarina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@tsarina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tsarina)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/23 "2002-08-28T01:00:08Z")
Put a pillow under your butt while you lay there for that half hour. **jarbaby** ’s uterus, we’re counting on you, bitch! ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/24 "2002-08-28T01:21:38Z")
Just out of curiousity, has Mr. Jar ummm… been tested? Sometimes these things may not be Uterus’ fault. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/25 "2002-08-28T01:57:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Just out of curiousity, has Mr. Jar ummm… been tested? I was thinking this too. Maybe his swimmers aren’t strong enough to make the trip up stream. They may need some help. Good luck, and keep on tryin’. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c2a13f/32.png) [@The\_Man\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_Who)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/26 "2002-08-28T02:14:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*I’m just too angry with my uterus to talk to her right now. > > She just…makes life so difficult. She’s a bitch. We’re not talking. \*\* Not talking, huh? Well then, your husband must be the world’s greatest ventriloquist, cause I sure hear something. -Myron ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/27 "2002-08-28T03:20:42Z")
Gyno sez no testing of any sort until we’ve been conception free for at least a year. Six more months. So if the swimmers are failing, they’ve got a while to shape up. J ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/28 "2002-08-28T03:38:19Z")
> [@](#): > > “I am a good uterus, I listen to what my brain tells me” > > “I am a strong uterus, I can carry a child around for as long as I need to” > > “I am a happy uterus, all I want is to live in harmony with the desires of the rest of my body” I am a tough healthy and well-muscled uterus ready to bend iron, and OK we do it your way for 9 months, but when the time comes I’m turnin’ you inside out like a tennis ball, heh heh heh. Wait and see. ---
**Author:** ![Entwife](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@Entwife](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Entwife)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/29 "2002-08-28T05:03:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AHunter3 \* > \*\* > > I am a tough healthy and well-muscled uterus ready to bend iron, and OK we do it your way for 9 months, but when the time comes I’m turnin’ you inside out like a tennis ball, heh heh heh. Wait and see. \*\* For the love of all that is holy, maintain at least a civil relationship with your uterus. She can punish you much more severely than you could ever hope to punish her! And good luck! —Entwife, who just produced a 10lb Entling with no pain medication. Ow. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/30 "2002-08-28T05:19:30Z")
Ya know, I’m pretty sure I now know more about **jarbaby’s** uterus than my own… Ah well - good luck. For what it’s worth, my mom firmly stands behind getting a puppy and lying around in order to achieve conception. I thought having sex would be a better route, but apparently not… God I kill me. ---
**Author:** ![WV\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@WV\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WV_Woman)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/31 "2002-08-28T05:20:18Z")
**Jarbaby** hang in there … as my mom would say, “like a hair in a biscuit.” All together now: EWWWWWWWW! Seriously, it’ll happen! Sometimes it just takes a while to get the timing right and all that other stuff happening at the same time. I’m sure soon we’ll see a thread entitled “BOUT DAMN TIME” from you 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sapphire\_Bullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@Sapphire\_Bullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapphire_Bullet)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/32 "2002-08-28T06:20:17Z")
Damn, I love it when you talk to your body parts. The only thing better is when you tell us what they say back to you. Many pregnant vibes to you, **jar**. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/33 "2002-08-28T06:56:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sapphire Bullet \* > \*\*Many pregnant vibes to you, **jar**. \*\* Prolly be better if she uses the jarboyj, rather than the vibe… Oh, you mean it that way. Nevermind. Yeah, good luck as always, **jbj**. I’ve been having nutty dreams, and I think it’s people like you that have been giving them to me. Maybe you could savagely eat a pear every day just to show that uterus what you’re capable of. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/34 "2002-08-28T07:03:44Z")
I’ve had enough of MY uterus too - 13 years & change is enough for me right now. Maybe it’ll take pity on me & go away until I’m ready for pregnancy. Maybe not. The uterus is, as jarbabyj so eloquently explained, a fickle mistress. In any case, I wish you good luck with the baby-making, **jar**. Here’s hoping your uterus gets over it’s rebellious phase soon. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/35 "2002-08-28T09:56:06Z")
Jarbabyj, your rant resounded in my brain with Alyson Hannigan’s voice. ---
**Author:** ![Cobalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8491ac/32.png) [@Cobalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cobalt)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/36 "2002-08-28T16:20:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Fuck you, you motherfucking slimy excuse for a uterus > … > YOU, you liver colored, pear like set of bulbous steer horns called my reproductive system. > … > It’s just about time you started earning your fucking keep, you pulsing,viscous inverted pear. \*\* Wow, and I thought the mood swings weren’t supposed to happen until **after** the lady got pregnant! :eek: Good rant! And good luck to you. Of course, now I’m worried about how Mrs. Cobalt will behave when it’s our turn to start reproducin’… ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/37 "2002-08-28T20:42:30Z")
That’s not a mood swing, silly. That’s pure rage. Mood swings are rage followed by laughter followed by tears followed by excitement followed by petulance…in space of twenty minutes. Now **those** are mood swings. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/38 "2002-08-28T21:49:52Z")
I’m sorry, I read uterus, but say Eutychus. Uterus-Eutychus Eutychus-Uterus They sound alike, don’t they? Continue. [sub]maybe I’m just nuts[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2002, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790/39 "2002-08-29T00:32:51Z")
No, your not nuts, your thjckaz! Good luck Jar! And at any point in time you feel the need you may have any one of my five to tide you over. Let’s see, we have a new teenager, a new jr. high, (both girls) a fifth grader, a first grader (boys) and a new cutie pie of a kindergartener. (girl) Various hair and eye color along with various attitudes for tons of fun! Good luck love [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-motherfucking-slimy-excuse-for-a-uterus/125790.md?page=1)