# Fuck YOU, You self-absorbed twat! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726 "2005-07-15T22:21:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/41 "2005-07-16T03:40:49Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > As a motorcyclist who’s been there too, I think you really need to cool it **ExTank**. I know how infuriating it can be to share the road with reckless and irresponsible people and I understand how you feel. Having said that, riding always involves risks and you should seriously consider giving it up. No way is what you are proposing self-defense. > > FWIW, you _never_ have to lock the wheels riding a motorcycle. Of course you never _have_ to, but split-second (consider that phrase: “split,” as in “divide into lesser proportions or fractions;” and “second,” the 1/60th of a minute). instances happen, training and experience be damned. And I’m aware of the risks, and expect to have to deal with them, but I also have a right to be on the road, in alegally licensed and DOT approved conveyance. The risks of road, weather, and normal traffic patterns are acceptable. The risks of insane auto drivers who blatantly put others at risks are occasionally there, but they shouldn’t be, and neither I or anyone else should have to tolerate them. When _you_ put me at risk with reckless behavior, I reserve the right to retaliate; when the police have made it evidently clear, _even when the perp openly confessed_, that they aren’t going to do a fucking thing to correct said behavior, I no longer have any reserevation about adjusting the other asswipe’s attitude. ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/42 "2005-07-16T03:42:51Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > And I’m aware of the risks, and expect to have to deal with them, but I also have a right to be on the road, in alegally licensed and DOT approved conveyance. The risks of road, weather, and normal traffic patterns are acceptable. The risks of insane auto drivers who blatantly put others at risks are occasionally there, but they shouldn’t be, and neither I or anyone else should have to tolerate them. > > When _you_ put me at risk with reckless behavior, I reserve the right to retaliate; when the police have made it evidently clear, _even when the perp openly confessed_, that they aren’t going to do a fucking thing to correct said behavior, I no longer have any reserevation about adjusting the other asswipe’s attitude. Are you really serious about this, (the gun permit part, etc.) or are you just venting? Also, what would you have wanted the police to do? ---
**Author:** ![VegemiteMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/df788c/32.png) [@VegemiteMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VegemiteMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/43 "2005-07-16T03:43:18Z")
**Ex-Tank** maybe the reason she wasn’t looking at you was because she was scared. You said **she** pulled into the police station, so unless she works there I’m guessing that might be it. I’m not excusing her bad driving but trying to explain her behaviour afterwards. (and then of course you parked so as to block her, which could be construed as intimidating. No, wait, not “construed as intimidating”, “is intimidating”). What kind of bike do you ride? What do you look like? Obviously I don’t know, but is there any chance that you seem intimidating when riding? To non-bikers (like myself) someone on a loud Harley dressed in leather with a big beard (for example) is going to seem more intimidating than a kid on a green and white Kawasaki speedbike. Even if this is not the case, a lone female in a car being afraid of a pissed off guy on a bike would be enough for me to tell my wife that she did the right thing by going to a police station. Fucking hell I would have done the same thing. Hmmm, maybe because of the fear of a road rage type incident. Maybe she was scared that you might do something irrational. Maybe she was scared you had a gun and might do something irrational. Ya think? And your anger is not more than mine will be if some ass-on-a-bike shoots my wife 'cause they’re mad and think they’re justified in doing so. I’m glad to see that you actually did go off-line after a while. So did I. This was not the rage filled post I originally composed in response to yours. But **think** man, I personally have a worse view of a) bikers and b) handgun owners than I did before reading your post. Not based on the issues, but soley based on **your** post. 'tisn’t rational but 'tis true. You have just done a disservice to those things which you purport to believe in. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/44 "2005-07-16T03:43:23Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > I know a person’s got to be pretty ignorant and unobservant to not notice a hand signal, but…why didn’t you use the turn signals? > > I’ve never ridden a motorbike, but I have biked and walked a lot, I spent 8 months busing, biking and hiking it before I got my truck and I was VERY careful to be really observant of anyone around me who even looked like they weren’t paying attention. > > NOT that this excuses her behaviour, but right or wrong you’re just as dead, or injured if you don’t pay close enough attention when you’re that vulnerable. Did you even fucking read the OP? _Can_ you read? > [@ExTank](#): > > Seeing that traffic’s backed up a tad at my turn, I roll off the throttle, **put on my left turn signal,** and ease on into the left-turn lane, downshifting with the braking for a nice, easy stop at a usually long light. Third sentence, first post. I bolded it this time, since, ya know, you couldn’t spot it earlier. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/45 "2005-07-16T03:45:04Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > I’m happy to let a jury decide. Self-defense typically requires at least two components: a life-threatening behavior on the part of the “assailant,” and a reasonable fear of life and limb on the part of the “victim.” Were I on the jury, you’d be doing 20 to life. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/46 "2005-07-16T03:47:41Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > I know a person’s got to be pretty ignorant and unobservant to not notice a hand signal, but…why didn’t you use the turn signals? > > I’ve never ridden a motorbike, but I have biked and walked a lot, I spent 8 months busing, biking and hiking it before I got my truck and I was VERY careful to be really observant of anyone around me who even looked like they weren’t paying attention. > > NOT that this excuses her behaviour, but right or wrong you’re just as dead, or injured if you don’t pay close enough attention when you’re that vulnerable. She came from the _right_, what is normally the “left lane,” and decided to jump in front of me because she thought I wasn’t going fast enough for her, even though she was going to stop at the same red light I was (not even 50 feet ahead), and was going to wait just as long at said red light for a left turn arrow as I was. What part of this can’t you wrap your brain around? ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/47 "2005-07-16T03:51:25Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Now, _that’s_ a horrible accident. > > If a mod wanted to clean up that incredible botch I made of my coding, I would give them a big, wet smooch. I get a smooch, I get a smooch! ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/48 "2005-07-16T03:52:15Z")
**ExTank** , dude, shut the fuck up. You’re just giving more ammo to the anti-gun crowd. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/49 "2005-07-16T03:53:43Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > She came from the _right_, what is normally the “left lane,” and decided to jump in front of me because she thought I wasn’t going fast enough for her, even though she was going to stop at the same red light I was (not even 50 feet ahead), and was going to wait just as long at said red light for a left turn arrow as I was. That happens to those of us in “cages” too. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/50 "2005-07-16T04:00:27Z")
I am so sorry that bitch did that to you, and very glad to hear you’re alright. At the least the cop could have pretended to be concerned and yelled at her. Please don’t self-destruct here because you’re righteously angry at her. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/51 "2005-07-16T04:00:54Z")
> [@](#): > > But think man, I personally have a worse view of a) bikers and b) handgun owners than I did before reading your post. **ExTank** is clearly a raving loony. Please don’t associate his screaming and threats with the rest of us sane pro-gun folks. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/52 "2005-07-16T04:05:15Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > Were I on the jury, you’d be doing 20 to life. Yeah, same here. If she were chasing you and trying to run you over and you shot her so you could escape, that would be self-defense. If you shot her _after_ you’d managed to avoid a fatal collision, even if it would have been entirely due to her being a stupid thoughtless bitch, that would be murder. Seriously, **ExTank** , go do something else. Go yell and smash some inanimate objects and sleep. Everybody is willing to ascribe any whacked-out statements you may make to stress and adrenaline at the moment, and _that’s a good thing_. If you still think you should be able to shoot bad drivers in the morning, there will be plenty of time to talk about it then. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/53 "2005-07-16T04:09:12Z")
> [@SkipMagic](#): > > I get a smooch, I get a smooch! Lovely job on the repair. You can hardly see the seams. Now, where’s that smooching smiley? How about this one 😛 with a little tongue? Or maybe this one :o - no, that’s a little bold. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/54 "2005-07-16T04:17:51Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > Okay, how about this…er, dipshit; you just validated the fear of every gun control advocate who will now listen to the hystronics of Dianne Feinstein and Charles Schumer, accepting verbatim the claim that allowing citizens to carry concealed weapons will result in a _Heat_-style gunfight at ever fenderbender. Fuck 'em. They’re going to say that anyway, and the fucktards who already agree with them will lick up their vomitus like the fucking curs they are, grinning and begging for more, _regardless of what actually happens in this country._ And if it turns off the fence-sitter, well, then fuck them too. It’s way past “cruch-time” in _that_ debate, and at this point, you’re either with us, with them, or a complete fucking moron. > [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > Furthermore, in described a policy of premeditated murder, fuckwit, you lay the groundwork for a charge of deliberation and intentional confrontation should you ever be so unfortunate as to have to engage in the use of deadly force in the legitimate defense of your life. Again, that’s for a jury to decide, and a cross draw handgun rig for a lefty-shooter puts it quite accessible. I wish I’d had it last year when an asswipe rolled up on my back tire, wanting me to go faster in the “exit only” lane even though traffic was stacked up at the exit not a half-mile ahead. I’d wished I’d had it when I politely tapped my brake light at him to back off a bit. I’d wihed I’d had it when he flew into a rage and was frothing obscenities at me through his front windshield, and flipping me the bird. Yes, he was THAT close. I wish I’d had it when he decided to run up on me even CLOSER, weaving back-and-forth in his lane like some kind of 2-Fast-2-Furious Wannabe. I wish I’d had, pulled it, turned and killed the motherfucking cocksucker BEFORE he tapped my back tire, sending me sideways, leaving a nice imprint of my FACE on my gas tank, a HEAD SHAPED imprint on the trunk of the car in front of me when I high-sided, and busted my arm in FOUR places when I hit the guardrail. Because if I HAD fired first, he wouldn’t have driven away from the scene of attempted vehicular manslaughter; I wouldn’t have had to been scraped off of the road like a slice of warm pizza, trucked to a hospital, have my face sewed back together, and a fucking morphine drip in my arm for the pain of a “shattered arm,” I wouldn’t have had to wake up in a hospital, with a Doctor having a needle and thread in my gum (apparently he didn’t feel the need to use any local anesthetic); I wouldn’t have to listen to an X-Ray tech tell all his buddies, “Hey guys! Look at THIS! I’ve never seen one this BAD! This guy’s arm is SHATTERED!;” I wouldn’t have had to endure months of physical therapy just to get my arm back to 75% normal function, at which it’s probably going to stay the rest of my LIFE. > [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > And unless you are going to drive around with your pistola permanently affixed to one hand, there is no way you are going to draw and fire a weapon in time to save yourself or prevent incompetence from resulting in a collision; any claim, therefore, to utilize the weapon comes strictly from vengence and cannot be considered defensive, you excrecatory imbecile. Every situation is different. “Your honor, ladies and gentleman of the jury, the deceased was trying to kill me by running me off of the road, and I was in fear of my life. I took the only action available to me to save my life, as the deceased left me no choice by his unsafe and dangerously aggressive driving habits.” > [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > As for the officer, his entire evidence of the incident comes from one fuming biker and one incoherent babbling bimbo; all hearsay, no physical evidence, witnesses, or damage. It is your word against hers, and if you were so full of flaming invective then as you are now, it is no wonder that he opted to focus on the most comforting sight in view. Were he to issue a citation it would almost certainly be thrown out for lack of corroboration at the slightest challenge. Er, anus-tickler. What part of Post #1 did you NOT read? Was it the part where I described how she finally blurted out that yes, she did speed past me and swerve into the left-turn lane at the last second? That was all Sgt. Doughnut needed.l > [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > Shitty drivers are a part of normal life; unfortunately, their threat is much greater to motorcyclists (of which I can count myself a member, if not in daily commute) than “cagers”. One cannot, as much as it would feed one’s sense of justice, go about shooting them at the head even in the face of legitimate provocation. Threatening to do so, on a public forum, is downright idiotic and irresponsible, dick-midget. Every motorcyclist has these stories; they’re all infuriating, but most of us manage to deal with it sans death threats (at least, not ones in a semi-permanent format, readable by any passing fur-brow.) > > Put the bike away, have a beer, glass of wine, or tumbler of your favorite whiskey, and let it hang. > > Or, go shove a red-hot poker up your ass until it glows through your bellybutton, jizz-inhaler. Whatever floats your sadistic homoerotic fantasies. > > Stranger At the risk of repeating a good insult: are you through now, piss-head? Can I continue to vent, or do you feel my parade hasn’t quite yet had enough rain? ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/55 "2005-07-16T04:22:50Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > **Ex** , I know you were scared out of your mind, and you are justifiably angry, but please calm down. Carrying a gun to shoot at oblivious drivers is not the solution. Yes, you were right and she was wrong, but let’s not go overboard. **Ivy,** if she was just “oblivious,” it’d be a whole 'nother conversation. She deliberately passed me on the right, cut in frot of me, and slammed on her brakes to stop at the very same stop light she would have had to stop at if she’d pulled in _behind_ me, and would’ve waited the exact same time for that light to turn green as weel. She admitted in the middle of a police station that she was in a hurry, didn’t feel like waiting behind just one more vehicle, and consciously _chose_ to cut in front of me, stop abruptly, and endanger not only me , but the car in _front_ of her if she’d misjudged her stopping power and distance. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/56 "2005-07-16T04:23:40Z")
**ExTank** I just heard a clip that I think applies to your idea of shooting a car driver that cuts you off [Chris Rock] **You can drive a car with your feet, but that doesn’t make it a mother-fucking good idea** [/CR] Dude, chill and think. Shooting someone when the danger is over is murder. You will come off as one more road rage looney. The judge and jury will stand you up and say “Catch” as they throw the book at you. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/57 "2005-07-16T04:24:07Z")
**Ex Tank** , you sound like a fucking psychopath. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/58 "2005-07-16T04:24:26Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > Were I on the jury, you’d be doing 20 to life. It only takes one for a hung jury, and if the rules of evidence for a case of self-defense are met, you _can’t_ hand back a “guilty” verdict. ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/59 "2005-07-16T04:26:13Z")
ExTank, Take solace in the fact that that cop is relaxing in a hot tub somewhere with those big, jiggly tits in his face, only taking brief pauses to recount how funny it was that his gal pal almost killed some fat dirtbag on a bike. Life is good when you have great tits. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously though, it sucked that you almost got hurt, but they call them accidents for a reason. If you ride a motorcycle, you open yourself up to situations like that. It doesn’t excuse her behavior, but you should face the reality that riding a bike is an inherently risky activity. I can see you’re venting, so I will leave you be. But, I hope you will really reconsider the course of action you discussed earlier. If you keep riding, please become an organ donor, Larry Hagman needs another liver. Please think of Larry Hagman. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/60 "2005-07-16T04:28:22Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > I wouldn’t have had to endure months of physical therapy just to get my arm back to 75% normal function, at which it’s probably going to stay the rest of my LIFE. What the fuck are you doing driving around on a motorcycle with one arm at 75% of normal? Are you even more fucking crazy than this thread makes you seem? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726.md?page=4)