# Fuck YOU, You self-absorbed twat! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726 "2005-07-15T22:21:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/61 "2005-07-16T04:30:21Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > It only takes one for a hung jury, and if the rules of evidence for a case of self-defense are met, you _can’t_ hand back a “guilty” verdict. Uh, considering that you admit here your intent, you’d probably be charged with first degree murder, and quite possibly, someone could supoena your posts here. Jesus Christ, you’re starting fucking scare me. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/62 "2005-07-16T04:32:20Z")
> [@Kevbo](#): > > An MSF course (non HD affiliated versions) will teach you stuff that will help keep you alive. Really. After you take one it is STUPID EASY to spot riders who haven’t. > After that I highly recommend David Hough’s book “Proficient Motorcycling”. Just another “Why not the HD affiliated one?” post. Riders Edge is an excellent program. A good friend of mine teaches it in NY. They go through a lot of training to become certified instructors and you usually learn on a Beull Blast 250. I took the non HD version (which was also excellent) and in comparing curriculums, they are nearly identical. [http://www.ridersedge.com/1\_new/1\_new.htm](http://www.ridersedge.com/1_new/1_new.htm) Either course is good for a new rider or the advanced ones for experienced riders who want some tips and skills brush ups. I’m thinking maybe you’re under the impression that the HD courses are not MSF as well- they are: [http://www.ridersedge.com/1\_new/1\_new1\_basic.htm](http://www.ridersedge.com/1_new/1_new1_basic.htm) "You will receive your Motorcycle Safety Foundation RiderCourseSM completion card after passing a multiple-choice written knowledge test and a riding skills evaluation. Depending on which state you live in, this card may exempt you from having to take the written and/or riding portion of your motorcycle license test (be sure to contact your participating dealership in your state for exemption information). " ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/63 "2005-07-16T04:32:57Z")
> [@yBeayf](#): > > **ExTank** , dude, shut the fuck up. You’re just giving more ammo to the anti-gun crowd. They’ll say whatever they’ll say _anyway,_ and I’m not threatening to hurt anyone just because I’m in a bad mood and they take too long to accelerate when the light turns green; or when they take the choice parking spot I was clearly waiting for; or the last pack of smokes from the convenience store, or failing to use a turn signal when changing lanes. Which _some_ here seem bound and determined to portray _my_ position as. No, I’ll save the shooting for people like the fuck knuckle who hit me last year; I’ll save it for the loony bitch who goes ballistic when I honk my horn at her after she cuts me off; I’ll save it for the guy who’s decided he has the right-of-way because he’s driving a penis-substitute Ford Expedition and can _take_ my lane, my piece of road. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/64 "2005-07-16T04:37:15Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > It only takes one for a hung jury, and if the rules of evidence for a case of self-defense are met, you _can’t_ hand back a “guilty” verdict. The rules of evidence for a case of self-defense are not met in what happened to you. Everyone in this thread, even those more or less on your side, acknowledges that. Except you. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/65 "2005-07-16T04:38:12Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > What the fuck are you doing driving around on a motorcycle with one arm at 75% of normal? Are you even more fucking crazy than this thread makes you seem? 'Cause… A) I don’t ride around on a crotch-rocket all Evel Knevel like, popping wheelies and weaving in-and-out of traffic, and B) Most bikes, and mine especially, steer more by leaning and shifting weight than “turning” the forks any degree, and C) My doctor certified my as okay to ride, and D) I should’ve said 75% of _my_ normal, which is about the same or maybe slightly less than your “average” normal. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/66 "2005-07-16T04:41:30Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > The rules of evidence for a case of self-defense are not met in what happened to you. Everyone in this thread, even those more or less on your side, acknowledges that. Except you. And I never said I would shoot someone in precisely the same circumstances. I said: > [@ExTank](#): > > So the next time Randy Road-Rage, Sandy SUV Soccer-Mom, or Donna Dingbat decides me and my bikle will make nice speedbumps as they hurry-scurry through their self-important little existence, I won’t feel at all bad about lofting a half-clip of .45 ACP +P JHP through their side-view window into their head. Go back and re-read Post #1 if you doubt me in the slightest. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/67 "2005-07-16T04:47:40Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Uh, considering that you admit here your intent, you’d probably be charged with first degree murder, and quite possibly, someone could supoena your posts here. > > Jesus Christ, you’re starting fucking scare me. Considering my riding history and medical records, I think that, under proper circumstances (and I never said today’s circumstances were proper, so PLEASE drop that fucking line, mkay?), I can easily make a case for self-defense. It’s not that much different that saying, “If I catch an armed intruder in my home, I’m not waiting for the cops, I’m dropping the SOB as fast as I can pull the trigger.” That may not fly everywhere, but it’ll fly where I live. I only said that, between psycho drivers like SAT, and indifferent cops like Sgt. Doughnut, I now believe I’m on my own when it comes to protecting myself on the road from ass-hat drivers, with the full acknowledgement that every situation (hopefully, not many of them) is unique, and should be judged on its own merits. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/68 "2005-07-16T04:53:29Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > Fuck 'em. They’re going to say that anyway, and the fucktards who already agree with them will lick up their vomitus like the fucking curs they are, grinning and begging for more, _regardless of what actually happens in this country._ > > And if it turns off the fence-sitter, well, then fuck them too. It’s way past “cruch-time” in _that_ debate, and at this point, you’re either with us, with them, or a complete fucking moron. Mate, I don’t think anybody is “with” you, as far as your threats are concerned. The only people sitting on your fence are Charles Manson and Ted Kaczynski, insofar as neither has, despite their homicidal tendancies, extended the proposal to execute offending motorists on the spot. Complaining about ignorant, oblivious, aggressive drivers is one bowl of cherries, but threatening to fire “a half-clip of .45 ACP +P JHP through their side-view window into their head,” is another barrel of rotten mangos entirely. I’m an advocate of concealed carry, and you’re making me reconsider the wisdom of that position, you obtuse collection of benighted bacterial waste products. > [@ExTank](#): > > What part of Post #1 did you NOT read? Was it the part where I described how she finally blurted out that yes, she did speed past me and swerve into the left-turn lane at the last second? That was all Sgt. Doughnut needed. I read the part where (according to your reiteration) she claimed that you were going “too slow” and passed in front of you. This still leaves the matter open for interpretation as to whether there was sufficient room for her to do so or not. Again, what is it you wish the police officer to do? Issue a citation based upon pure hearsay? Strip and body-cavity search the woman? Pull out his service weapon and execute her on the spot. > [@ExTank](#): > > At the risk of repeating a good insult: are you through now, piss-head? Can I continue to vent, or do you feel my parade hasn’t quite yet had enough rain? It was your parade to conduct up until the point that you started issuing proclaimations to execute the next person who cuts you off in traffic, you excrementory excuse for a prefontal cortex bypass. You can continue to vent, unimpeded, when you stop acting as the poster boy for Handgun Control, Inc’s case for prohibiting the civilian possession of BB guns and pointed sticks, much less things that actually go bang. Until then, fold it until it’s all corners, roll it up in glass, and stick it in your anterior oriface, you sorrowful excuse for diseased organic matter. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/69 "2005-07-16T04:59:02Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > Are you really serious about this, (the gun permit part, etc.) or are you just venting? > > Also, what would you have wanted the police to do? Well, since the bitch confessed to the Duty Doughnut what I’d said she’d done, a ticket of some kind for her would’ve been nice. It may not have corrected her behavior in the future, but it at least would’ve been a message to her right there, and it would’ve been a cop doing his job. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/70 "2005-07-16T05:01:41Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > It was your parade to conduct up until the point that **you started issuing proclaimations to execute the next person who cuts you off in traffic,** you excrementory excuse for a prefontal cortex bypass. > > Stranger Cite? Where did I make _any_ such claim to “execute the next person who cuts me off in traffic.” ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/71 "2005-07-16T05:01:45Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > And I never said I would shoot someone in precisely the same circumstances. > > I said: > > Go back and re-read Post #1 if you doubt me in the slightest. You tied shooting someone to the occurence today. You implied that the next time a lady cuts you off like the one did today, you will “loft(…) a half-clip of .45 ACP +P JHP through their side-view window into their head.” > [@ExTank](#): > > Considering my riding history and medical records, I think that, under proper circumstances (and I never said today’s circumstances were proper, so PLEASE drop that fucking line, mkay?), I can easily make a case for self-defense. Dream on. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/72 "2005-07-16T05:07:50Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > Cite? Where did I make _any_ such claim to “execute the next person who cuts me off in traffic.” Read your own post, you witless example of incogitable inanity. > [@ExTank](#): > > So **the next time** Randy Road-Rage, Sandy SUV Soccer-Mom, or Donna Dingbat decides me and my bikle will make nice speedbumps as they hurry-scurry through their self-important little existence, I won’t feel at all bad about lofting a half-clip of .45 ACP +P JHP through their side-view window into their head. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/73 "2005-07-16T05:09:44Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > You tied shooting someone to the occurence today. You implied that the next time a lady cuts you off like the one did today, you will “loft(…) a half-clip of .45 ACP +P JHP through their side-view window into their head.” > > Dream on. Dream on? Wake the fuck up and smell the maple-nut cruch, bitch. Sentence one: True Sentence Two: False. I said the next time someone tries to make me and my bike their own personal speedbump, I would take action. It was fairly implicit in Post #1 that I wouldn’t have had time even if I wanted to, even if some pea-brains have felt the need to belabor the obvious by pointing that out to me, _even though I never said I would shoot someone else in similar circumstances in the future._ She didn’t try to make _me_ her speedbump, she tried to make herself _my_ speedbump, a great big, red, chevy-shaped one. Do you understand the difference now, you fucktard? Do I have to break every single sentence down into one-letter words for you to wrap the pathetic excuse you call your “mind” around? ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/74 "2005-07-16T05:11:59Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > Read your own post, you witless example of incogitable inanity. > > Stranger Yes, you can quote. Now, can you read? Find the words “I” “Will” “Shoot” “The” “Next” “Person” “Who” “Cuts” “Me” “Off” “In” “Traffic,” all joined together in the grammatic structure we commonly call a “sentence.” ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/75 "2005-07-16T05:13:41Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > Yes, you can quote. Now, can you read? > > Find the words “I” “Will” “Shoot” “The” “Next” “Person” “Who” “Cuts” “Me” “Off” “In” “Traffic,” all joined together in the grammatic structure we commonly call a “sentence.” BWAHAHAHAHA You’re an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/76 "2005-07-16T05:14:33Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > Do you understand the difference now, you fucktard? Do I have to break every single sentence down into one-letter words for you to wrap the pathetic excuse you call your “mind” around? I’ve changed my “mind”. Were I on the jury you would be doing life without the possibility. ---
**Author:** ![VegemiteMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/df788c/32.png) [@VegemiteMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VegemiteMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/77 "2005-07-16T05:19:23Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > Cite? Where did I make _any_ such claim to “execute the next person who cuts me off in traffic.” Wow you are stupid. [quote=ExTank] So the next time Randy Road-Rage, Sandy SUV Soccer-Mom, or Donna Dingbat decides me and my bikle will make nice speedbumps as they hurry-scurry through their self-important little existence, I won’t feel at all bad about lofting a half-clip of .45 ACP +P JHP through their side-view window into their head. [quote] Here’s a clue before you respond. YES, this looks like you are threatening to shoot and kill the next person who displeases you in traffic. This would include cutting you off. Asswipe motherfuck! You think you have some sort of monopoly on rage? Let’s say the person you kill is **my** wife. I then decide to start shooting random bikers. Someone reads this messageboard and decides to start killing people whos last name rhymes with Moose. Do you get this? ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/78 "2005-07-16T05:20:35Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > Texas is looking better every fucking day. Oh fucking hell, no. I think we’ve met out quota for idiots. Stay where the fuck you are, smegma breath. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/79 "2005-07-16T05:22:34Z")
Who wants to start the countdown? ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/80 "2005-07-16T05:26:17Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > Yes, you can quote. Now, can you read? > > Find the words “I” “Will” “Shoot” “The” “Next” “Person” “Who” “Cuts” “Me” “Off” “In” “Traffic,” all joined together in the grammatic structure we commonly call a “sentence.” You win. Your expanse of idiocy outreaches my capacity for patience. Enjoy being the anal sex slave of “Tiny” Tim and “Friendly” Lou while serving your 25-to-life sentence for executing Doreen B. Distracted, kindergarden teacher, pious churchgoer, wife, and mother of three, for making a left turn without signal. She was asking for it, the oblivious git. Stranger [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726.md?page=5)