# Fuck YOU, You self-absorbed twat! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726 "2005-07-15T22:21:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/121 "2005-07-16T18:12:15Z")
If there was ever an argument for stricter licensing for motorbikes and guns, it’s people like this. Tank, I never really noticed you much although we have both been around here for a long time, but holy shit dude – have you always been this much of a raving loony? A couple of questions for you – 1. If you are ready to be used as a speed bump are you going to have time to fire off a shot at the other driver in “self-defense”? 2. Will you be under enough control (especially, if again, you are on your way to being a speed bump) that you can hold on to your bike and fire off a shot without hitting an innocent passenger (including a child) or having a stray bullet hit a driver in another car or a pedestrian? Do you believe that will hold up in court as self-defense? 3. How do you decide how far things go before you have to resort to this “self -defense” in order to save yourself and will you be in enough control and have enough time at that point to fire off a shot? What about the period before that point? Will you try to protect yourself by swerving the bike or will you be grabbing for your gun instead? 4. If you don’t shoot in “self defense”, as you are protecting yourself, do you shoot afterwards? That is called revenge or retaliation, not self-defense. 5. Do you believe that the crime of distraction, not seeing a bike in a blind spot, or simply making a driving mistake is grounds for a death sentence? I am sorry you got creamed in the past. A very good friend of mine lost a foot and sustained some brain damage because a distracted driver didn’t see him and literally used him as a speed bump. My own little brother was hit and killed (on a peddle bike) when he was 7 years old by an elderly woman who shouldn’t have been on the road. I know first hand how other the stupidity of others can put you into a lather, but to carry a gun to blow off the heads of potential accident causers, is psychotic. :::waiting for the spitting hurl of name-calling::: ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/122 "2005-07-16T18:17:56Z")
I forgot one. 1. Say you get off an accurate shot into the other driver’s head. Now what? How do you insure that you still aren’t used as a speed bump? Does the killing of the person gain you control of their automobile? Are you willing to accept the responsibility of additional potential deaths and injuries if the other car swerves into oncoming traffic or onto busy sidewalks? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/123 "2005-07-16T20:42:07Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > > [@Campion](#): > > > > Again, IANAL, so don’t bust my balls in the Pit about the inherent legal contradiction of “attempted manslaughter.” This is a bannable offense, you crazy, gun-weilding Mad Max. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/124 "2005-07-16T21:00:19Z")
Why is this thread still open, and why have the mods not addressed **Ex Tank** yet? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/125 "2005-07-16T21:19:18Z")
Yeah, **Guin** …you’d figure that someone would have reported it. Only thing I can figure is that the mods are keeping a close eye on this, and may be discussing it privately. However, I’d have closed it first. But that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/126 "2005-07-16T21:23:02Z")
Off Topic: If a twat is self-absorbing, does that mean she doesn’t need tampons? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/127 "2005-07-16T21:23:35Z")
Especially when you consider the “Board Wars” flap was jumped on almost right away, but something like this goes on and on? ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/128 "2005-07-16T21:23:44Z")
Damn Tank, If you where in a car would you be as mad? Would you shoot anyone that cuts you off? Oh…… from post 88. You rear-ended a car before. Interesting. Since bikes stop in about half the distance of a car. Yep they may have pulled in front of you. Yep, they probably did not see you. Sounds to me like you’re a really shitty rider. Really, really shitty. Cagers :snerk: (what a silly fucking term) may not see you all the time. Is it there fault? Maybe so, maybe not. But a biker should be ready for anything. Just as I am in my ‘cage’. The woman that cut you off fucked up. And I’ll bet dollars to donuts that you weren’t’ paying attention. I say HORSESHIT to your whole OP. Get over yourself. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/129 "2005-07-16T21:41:14Z")
> [@Diane](#): > > I forgot one. > > 1. Say you get off an accurate shot into the other driver’s head. Now what? How do you insure that you still aren’t used as a speed bump? Does the killing of the person gain you control of their automobile? Are you willing to accept the responsibility of additional potential deaths and injuries if the other car swerves into oncoming traffic or onto busy sidewalks? yet another excellent point. the charitable view would be that the OP was drunk throughout this thread. no other kind reason to explain his venom, idiocy etc. I don’t recall usually agreeing w/him but prior to this thread hadn’t written him off as a fucking asshole. too bad he’s ignoring good advice, folks expressing that they **had** admired him. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/130 "2005-07-16T21:48:48Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > Again, that’s for a jury to decide, and a cross draw handgun rig for a lefty-shooter puts it quite accessible. I wish I’d had it last year when an asswipe rolled up on my back tire, wanting me to go faster in the “exit only” lane even though traffic was stacked up at the exit not a half-mile ahead. > > I’d wished I’d had it when I politely tapped my brake light at him to back off a bit. > > I’d wihed I’d had it when he flew into a rage and was frothing obscenities at me through his front windshield, and flipping me the bird. Yes, he was THAT close. > > I wish I’d had it when he decided to run up on me even CLOSER, weaving back-and-forth in his lane like some kind of 2-Fast-2-Furious Wannabe. > > I wish I’d had, pulled it, turned and killed the motherfucking cocksucker BEFORE he tapped my back tire, sending me sideways, leaving a nice imprint of my FACE on my gas tank, a HEAD SHAPED imprint on the trunk of the car in front of me when I high-sided, and busted my arm in FOUR places when I hit the guardrail. > > Because if I HAD fired first, he wouldn’t have driven away from the scene of attempted vehicular manslaughter; I wouldn’t have had to been scraped off of the road like a slice of warm pizza, trucked to a hospital, have my face sewed back together, and a fucking morphine drip in my arm for the pain of a “shattered arm,” I wouldn’t have had to wake up in a hospital, with a Doctor having a needle and thread in my gum (apparently he didn’t feel the need to use any local anesthetic); I wouldn’t have to listen to an X-Ray tech tell all his buddies, “Hey guys! Look at THIS! I’ve never seen one this BAD! This guy’s arm is SHATTERED!;” > I wouldn’t have had to endure months of physical therapy just to get my arm back to 75% normal function, at which it’s probably going to stay the rest of my LIFE. And if you hadn’t continued to antagonize the guy after he didn’t back off following your first “polite brake tap,” hadn’t further infuriated a jackass who was clearly crazed and dangerous – if you had PULLED OVER and let him pass you, if you had shown one iota of common fucking sense that you should have supposedly learned in the safety course you supposedly took, instead of behaving with, I’m convinced, exactly the demeanor you’re exhibiting here, with your hot-headed sense of righteous entitlement, you would’ve escaped that fate entirely. I know this’ll just send you over the deep end, but you share a portion of the blame for that accident because it was entirely preventable. And not with a gunshot through his windshield, but a simple saftey maneuver – getting out of his fucking way. You are clearly unsafe on the road and I thank Og I moved out of the Creve Coeur/Maryland Heights area over 10 years ago, so I don’t stand a chance of encountering your dangerous ass on the roads. I’m off to go make a contribution to Dianne Feinstein and her gun control efforts just because you make me absolutely certain that they are entirely necessary for my safety and survival. Fucking asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/131 "2005-07-16T22:03:43Z")
**ExTank** – chill, man. I know she pissed you off to the extreme, but planning to shoot asshole drivers isn’t going to get you anywhere but jail. When I lived in the city and was a pedestrian, I had to deal with almost getting run over on a daily basis. Pedestrian laws? Pshaw! Why let someone use the crosswalk when you can accelerate out of a parking space and **brush the back of their fucking legs with your bumper** , and then flip off said person because clearly they’re in the wrong for crossing with the fucking lights, on the crosswalk, and with a large group of other people! It took some serious effort for me not to run up to the guy’s car and haul him out for an ass beating. The worse thing is that it happened **all the time**. Wouldn’t have served any purpose, though, except to get me in the slammer. What I had to do was become ridiculously careful about crossing – almost to the point of waiting for a completely clear street before crossing, and lord knows how long that takes in the city, especially during rush hour. Just chill. Don’t get kicked off the board because you’re angry, and don’t do something stupid IRL because other people are assholes. Remember the golden rule, man – you can’t do \*\*shit \*\* to change other people’s behavior. You can only change your own. ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/132 "2005-07-16T22:10:49Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > This is a bannable offense, you crazy, gun-weilding Mad Max. Meh. It was clearly inadvertant, not an intentional attempt to misquote me. If **ExTank** ever comes back to this thread, I’m confident he’d agree and apologize. It seems silly to ban someone for something that wasn’t intentional and couldn’t possibly mislead anyone. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/133 "2005-07-16T22:12:33Z")
**ExTank** , twenty-four hours is plenty of time to indulge homicidal thoughts about the careless driver who frightened you. And it’s about up. Let’s face it, there just aren’t any realistic scenarios in which another driver is trying to kill you and in which shooting them through their side window is going to be possible, necessary or effective. But no matter what circumstances you concoct in your next post to justify violence, the mere fact that you’re spending so much time and energy justifying it makes shooting someone sound more like a wish-fulfillment fantasy for you than a cool-headed plan of self-preservation. Which makes you, sight unseen, much more dangerous in my estimation than a blind armadillo with a drivers’ license and a Hummer. And by “dangerous,” I do not mean “tough” or “rugged” or “manly” or “cool.” I mean “unpredictable and out of control and should be handled by professionals carrying the proper tools and kept well away from innocent potential victims.” Here’s a way to defend yourself without shooting anybody, Quickdraw: trade in the bike for a bright yellow hatchback. And forego the gun: you’re just the poster boy for an outright ban on the things. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/134 "2005-07-16T22:20:02Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > Of course you never _have_ to, but split-second (consider that phrase: “split,” as in “divide into lesser proportions or fractions;” and “second,” the 1/60th of a minute). instances happen, training and experience be damned. Not quite. That was your mistake. Since you did not hit the other car and you blocked your tires or laid down the bike (it’s not clear from the OP) I’m certain it was possible to do a controlled emergency stop using the space available. > [@](#): > > When _you_ put me at risk with reckless behavior, I reserve the right to retaliate; when the police have made it evidently clear, _even when the perp openly confessed_, that they aren’t going to do a fucking thing to correct said behavior, I no longer have any reserevation about adjusting the other asswipe’s attitude. Yeah, blow their brains out, good for you. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/135 "2005-07-16T22:43:56Z")
Just picture it. Some airhead chica is running a bit late for he appointment at the nail salon. Tank isn’t going fast enough for her, so she jumps in front of him, even though they’re approaching a red light. He puts the bike down to avoid death or severe injury. Then he dusts himself off, and gets back on his bike. Oblivious airhead chica goes rushing on to the nail salon. Doesn’t notice at first that Tank is hot on her tail. She pulls into the strip mall parking lot where the nail salon is. Notices that Tank has pulled up right next to her. Now she’s pissed.\* Her safety might be in jeapordy! \* :eek: . After all, it’s really all about her, isn’t it? She gets out of her car. “What’s your pro…” Tank, a skilled marksman, has just put three .22 hollowpoint slugs in semi circle around the bridge of her nose. There are streams of blood from the entry points, a smear on her nose. Her eyes go glassy. She drops in a heap. She won’t be making that nail appointment. By the time they find her corpse in parking lot, Tank is long gone. Since he was wearing a helmet that completely obscured his face, and his license plate was covered up, no positive ID was possible. Just another beautiful day in Texas. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/136 "2005-07-16T22:47:20Z")
> [@Campion](#): > > Meh. It was clearly inadvertant, not an intentional attempt to misquote me. If **ExTank** ever comes back to this thread, I’m confident he’d agree and apologize. It seems silly to ban someone for something that wasn’t intentional and couldn’t possibly mislead anyone. Not trying to get him banned, just pointing out this very obvious fact. And how does someone misattribute a quote like that accidently? Did someone else say it and **Ex** just thought it was you? Cut and paste accident? Quite honestly, it mislead me until you pointed it out. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/137 "2005-07-16T22:49:32Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Cut and paste accident? That should get a death sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/138 "2005-07-16T22:54:03Z")
> [@Diane](#): > > That should get a death sentence. That was no ACCIDENT! Those misattributed twat words have it coming! And if they ever sneak into my quote again, I’MA KILL THE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/139 "2005-07-16T23:00:09Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > That was no ACCIDENT! Those misattributed twat words have it coming! And if they ever sneak into my quote again, I’MA KILL THE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! a clear case of self defense - no jury in the world would ever convict ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726/140 "2005-07-16T23:10:46Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > Not quite. That was your mistake. Since you did not hit the other car and you blocked your tires or laid down the bike (it’s not clear from the OP) I’m certain it was possible to do a controlled emergency stop using the space available. > > Yeah, blow their brains out, good for you. On a more positive note, maybe she carries too: "I don’t know, officer. I pulled up to a light in front of a motorcycle. The rider got off his bike, walked up to my car, and knocked on my window. I asked what the hell he wanted, and he said ‘I reserve the right to readjust your attitude’ or some such thing. Then he pulled out a gun. “So I shot him.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fuck-you-you-self-absorbed-twat/312726.md?page=8)