# Fucking Al Qaeda douchebags **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 19, 2008, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467 "2008-11-19T17:00:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/41 "2008-11-19T20:04:03Z")
[Quote=No. 2 Douchebag] "That’s why it wasn’t strange that Malik al-Shabazz (may Allah have mercy on him) was killed, while you have climbed the rungs of the presidency to take over the leadership of the greatest criminal force in the history of mankind … [/Quote] Obama is Ernst Stavro Blofeld?!? ---
**Author:** ![Frustrated\_Wonderer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a4c791/32.png) [@Frustrated\_Wonderer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frustrated_Wonderer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/42 "2008-11-19T20:09:00Z")
The Taliban suck too! Don´t forget them! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/43 "2008-11-19T20:15:17Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Obama is Ernst Stavro Blofeld?!? _snort_ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/44 "2008-11-19T20:22:32Z")
al-Queda has become the PETA of terrorist groups. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/45 "2008-11-19T20:33:41Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Be fair, he used the more polite “House Negro.” > Gu and Ffaw. Oh, so you want to be “Fair” to terrorists, now? Why do you hate America? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/46 "2008-11-19T20:34:15Z")
Well, I’ll take snarky video comments over hijacked planes any day. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/47 "2008-11-19T20:39:36Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > al-Queda has become the PETA of terrorist groups. The high gas prices precluded them from re-arming with ammunition and bombs. They, like most American commuters, are thankful fuel costs are becoming manageable again. That means only one thing: al-Qaeda will return. Oh yes. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/48 "2008-11-19T20:41:19Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Well, I’ll take snarky video comments over hijacked planes any day. Good point. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/49 "2008-11-19T20:42:47Z")
> [@DudleyGarrett](#): > > The high gas prices precluded them from re-arming with ammunition and bombs. They would benefit from higher gas prices, as the Saudis would have more money to donate to keep the locals quite. Unless you are whoosing me, however you spell it. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/50 "2008-11-19T20:46:15Z")
Last I hears Osamalamadingdong wasn’t in good with the hous of Saud anymore. he’d have to pay extra for the fuel. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/51 "2008-11-19T20:47:37Z")
It’s always the #2 guys. I’m beginning to think that an org chart of Al Qaeda org chart would look like this: ``` Bin Laden | ``` #2 --------- #2 --------- #2 --------- #2 --------- #2 --------- #2 ---------#2 (etc.) ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/52 "2008-11-19T21:08:18Z")
Who does number two work for?! ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/53 "2008-11-19T21:15:35Z")
> [@yojimbo](#): > > Maybe I’m on my own on this but they jumped the shark for me when the flew those planes into those buildings. I admit it – I laughed. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/54 "2008-11-19T21:21:15Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Last I hears Osamalamadingdong wasn’t in good with the hous of Saud anymore. he’d have to pay extra for the fuel. They make donations to the bad guys to keep the local populace happy, I hear. How many of the September 11 guys were Saudi? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/55 "2008-11-19T21:31:19Z")
Well, I have learned something from all this. I had no idea that Malcolm X was so highly regarded by al-Qaeda. So… these guys claim that Obama was elected because of his plans to leave Iraq, so they make a video to taunt him about it, using 40-year-old racial politics as a theme. In a way, I’m vaguely disillusioned. Ever since 9/11, al-Qaeda has been this huge international menace lurking just out of sight, tentacles infesting the entire landscape of global politics; poised to strike again at any moment. Now Bush is leaving, and instantly the whole facade comes crashing down. All of a sudden they’re incapable of even crafting a successfully insulting video. After all the Yellow Alerts and shoe X-rays, it comes down to this; and we’re left with the unavoidable suspicion that these guys were just the terrorist equivalent of a furniture salesman who wins the Mega Slot jackpot in Vegas against all odds, then pisses it all away trying to convince hookers that he’s Mel Gibson’s brother-in-law. These guys have had eight golden years of unlimited validation and respect, and now they’re scared assless that the new guy probably can’t be goaded into playing the same game. The days of wine and roses are over, guys. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/56 "2008-11-19T21:41:13Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > After all the Yellow Alerts and shoe X-rays, it comes down to this; and we’re left with the unavoidable suspicion that these guys were just the terrorist equivalent of a furniture salesman who wins the Mega Slot jackpot in Vegas against all odds, then pisses it all away trying to convince hookers that he’s Mel Gibson’s brother-in-law. [Sniff] That’s, that’s _beautiful,_ man! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/57 "2008-11-19T21:58:39Z")
“My name is **'luci,** and I’m a nit-picker…” “Hi, **'luci!** (Cite?)” Its _always_ the #3 guy who’s getting his chips cashed. Al-Z is number two, Osama is number one, number three is dead, and dead again, and dead again, and so forth… (Hey, anybody remember when they told us that 75% of AlQ’s leadership was wiped out? Ah, good times…) ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/58 "2008-11-19T22:06:56Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > (Hey, anybody remember when they told us that 75% of AlQ’s leadership was wiped out? Ah, good times…) What was funnier is that they didn’t know how many people were in the ledership, but they knew that 75% had been wiped out. ---
**Author:** ![2nd\_Law](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/f475e1/32.png) [@2nd\_Law](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2nd_Law)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/59 "2008-11-19T22:58:13Z")
> [@Scissorjack](#): > > Who does number two work for?! [The Prisoner] That would be telling… [/The Prisoner] ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467/60 "2008-11-19T23:08:51Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > al-Queda has become the PETA of terrorist groups. They, among all the terrorist networks, have the courage to support the agenda of People for Eating Tasty Animals? Good for them! Hrmmm, I wonder who makes better bacon. Me or Osama… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-al-qaeda-douchebags/473467.md?page=4)