# Fucking asshole insurance appraiser **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 16, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378 "2010-04-16T18:22:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/1 "2010-04-16T18:22:51Z")
It’s been 7 weeks since my claim, and still the appraisal is not done. I understand he’s busy and everything, but this is ABSOLUTE FUCKING BULLSHIT Fucking asshole shit-licking syphalytic dog fucking douchebag. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/2 "2010-04-16T19:01:13Z")
Call or write your state’s Department of Insurance and make a complaint. You should see pretty quick action after that. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/3 "2010-04-16T19:12:50Z")
He _just_ got back to me. Claim was written up this morning as promised and the chack will be in my hand by this time next week. Replace rightous indignation at having to wait so long with the cha-CHING! sound. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/4 "2010-04-16T20:05:55Z")
Sorry to hear you needed asshole insurance. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/5 "2010-04-16T20:26:12Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > It’s been 7 weeks since my claim, and still the appraisal is not done. I understand he’s busy and everything, but this is ABSOLUTE FUCKING BULLSHIT > > Fucking asshole shit-licking syphalytic dog fucking douchebag. I appreciate the outrage here – it’s a pretty minor issue that you’ve managed to work up into some out-of-proportion rage. But your technique needs work. We don’t have enough background info to understand what kind of appraisal this is. Is it an appraisal of your broken windshield? Did your basement flood? Did your oil rig burst into flames and sink into the ocean symbolizing the decline of our national energy policy? Something in between? And the profanity. Sure, profanity is fun. But we all saw Flatliners about 20 years ago, and while there was a certain teenage _je ne sais quoi_ in Julia Robert’s skill at stringing together naughty words, such displays, much like Ms. Roberts herself, have declined in both relevance and popularity. It’s an OK first effort. It shows promise. But let’s step it up on the next post – there’s no room in this game for the batboy. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/6 "2010-04-16T21:08:27Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > Sorry to hear you needed asshole insurance. I’ve actually been looking for some but I don’t use mine for fucking. I wonder if they have different rates for people like me who only use theirs for poopin’? Kinda like non-smoker’s life insurance or something. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/7 "2010-04-16T21:34:53Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > I appreciate the outrage here – it’s a pretty minor issue that you’ve managed to work up into some out-of-proportion rage. > > But your technique needs work. We don’t have enough background info to understand what kind of appraisal this is. Is it an appraisal of your broken windshield? Did your basement flood? Did your oil rig burst into flames and sink into the ocean symbolizing the decline of our national energy policy? Something in between? > > And the profanity. Sure, profanity is fun. But we all saw Flatliners about 20 years ago, and while there was a certain teenage _je ne sais quoi_ in Julia Robert’s skill at stringing together naughty words, such displays, much like Ms. Roberts herself, have declined in both relevance and popularity. > > It’s an OK first effort. It shows promise. But let’s step it up on the next post – there’s no room in this game for the batboy. A tree got blown in a wind storm, crushed one of my cars beyond repair, dented up the other (a brand new Accord), shattered 5 sections of fence to matchwood, tore the trim off my carport, and scared the everlivingshit out of us. The car claims were settled weeks ago but the homeowners claim was dragging on and on. This has been a gigantic pain in the arse and I need closure ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/8 "2010-04-16T21:39:39Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > Sorry to hear you needed asshole insurance. Wise guy ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/9 "2010-04-16T21:47:34Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > A tree got blown in a wind storm, crushed one of my cars beyond repair, dented up the other (a brand new Accord), shattered 5 sections of fence to matchwood, tore the trim off my carport, and scared the everlivingshit out of us. The car claims were settled weeks ago but the homeowners claim was dragging on and on. This has been a gigantic pain in the arse and I need closure An insurance company stalls for weeks, then tells you “the check is in the mail”, and you’ve think you’ve got _closure_? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2010, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/10 "2010-04-16T22:12:14Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > **A tree got blown in a wind storm** , crushed one of my cars beyond repair, dented up the other (a brand new Accord), shattered 5 sections of fence to matchwood, tore the trim off my carport, and scared the everlivingshit out of us. I…um…oh my. I have some causation concerns. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/11 "2010-04-19T15:24:43Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > Sorry to hear you needed asshole insurance. Going to prison? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/12 "2010-04-19T15:39:48Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > … and scared the everlivingshit out of us. Full replacement or did they depreciate? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/13 "2010-04-19T15:54:15Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I…um…oh my. I have some causation concerns. Don’t worry. They filed a subrogation claim against the estate of the tree. ---
**Author:** ![Lunchy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Lunchy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunchy)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/14 "2010-04-19T22:35:51Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > It’s been 7 weeks since my claim, and still the appraisal is not done. I understand he’s busy and everything, but this is ABSOLUTE FUCKING BULLSHIT > > Fucking asshole shit-licking syphalytic dog fucking douchebag. Tell us how you really feel. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fucking-asshole-insurance-appraiser/536378/15 "2010-04-19T22:47:46Z")
Whaaaaaat? You mean they didn’t show up at your house while the tree was still in mid fall to hand you a hot cup of cocoa and a blanket (and a teddy bear for the wee one)? They didn’t have the check already cut and in your hands as the tree hit? Why then those TV commercials must be mistaken…